Welcoming In The New Year
My life is a miracle.
I’m working wholeheartedly to maintain that belief.
My sons and I spent our New Years at Bayside watching the fireworks. It proved to be an adventure for them because we had to catch two different “trains” to get there and the boys were amazed by the sights we saw.
There were hundreds and hundreds of people out there, most of them of Hispanic decent and I marveled at how my city has changed over the course of my life. Even when the countdown began they announced it by saying, “Cinco minutos mas del nuevo ano!”
Espero que practicarmas en el nuevo ano pero soy contenta que hablo mucho espanol. Que bueno!
I woke up the next morning to tiny kisses being planted on my cheek and we went out to see Alvin & The Chipmunks before heading to IHOP for a quick bite to eat.
I prayed with them, thanking God for the chance to see my dream of being with them for New Years come true. I had been fantasizing about that since I was in Houston. I am so grateful.
I got to see Anna last night. She called me late in the evening and asked me to meet her at Flannigans in Miami-Lakes for dinner.
It was so good to see her but I felt like there was a disconnection, as though the people we were when we met more than 14 years ago had completely changed and drifted apart. I experienced the same feeling when I saw Tamara for Thanksgiving. We all chat easily on the phone and through email on a daily basis but somehow in person, it felt a little strange.
I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m headed spiritually and of course I don’t want to define myself by anyone’s labels because that makes me feel authentic in my search for my own truth about my perception of life and its purpose. It also leaves me feeling rather lonely though but I know that my path is my own and even if I shared views that were identical to other people, we would still be walking a solo path to meet the Divine.
I’ve been thinking about my career path and the alternate avenues I am exploring. I don’t want to say that I am giving up on sustaining myself as a journalist but my heart feels like I am. I’m been hoping for my dream job as a magazine journalist or editor to manifest but since it hasn’t yet, I’m looking into other ways to give my gift of encouragement.
Kanye said it best in his song, ‘The Good Life’ when he said, “Giving up is way harder than trying.” If I leave my quest to become a superstar inspirational journalist then what do I do next?
I’ve experienced many wrong fits as far as employment goes but my heart says there is a right fit out there for me. It hurts my little heart to believe that I have a gift that is going unused but at the same time, I need stability in my life.
On the surface it seems as though 2007 was a waste professionally but in my quest to grow professionally, I received an extra bonus in my spiritual development. I did some really, really risky things and I was protected through it all. Thank God, I’m still alive and safe.
I’m trying to give as much as I can to my children in terms of life lessons as a result of my spiritual growth. I’m considering the fact that maybe..just maybe my life’s journey was meant to help shape who they are, maybe it was more for them than it was for me. I don’t know.
What I DO know is…I’ve got a long way to go from here. Or maybe not. My sister’s whole life changed with a simple phone call and she wasn’t even trying to change her life that dramatically, it just happened and now she experiences bliss on a regular basis.
Who knows what opportunities to learn and grow professionally are lurking behind the clouds in the coming days. What I realize from all of the past experiences of last year is that, my heart’s desire always comes to pass in unexpected ways.
I welcome the change. I welcome the growth. I welcome the divine guidance.
I welcome 2008 with open arms because I never know what this year will bring.
This Is Good!
My life is a miracle.
Look at the blessing I found! This inspirational story reminded me that I am on the divine path and all I need to do is trust the love of God in my life. All is well…
This Is Good
An old story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is good!”
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!” To which the king replied, “No, this is NOT good!” and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. “You were right,” he said, “it was good that my thumb was blown off.” And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. “And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this.”
“No,” his friend replied, “This is good!””What do you mean,’This is good’? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?”
“If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you.”
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28)
Situations may not always seem pleasant while we are in them, but the promise of God is clear. If we love Him and live our lives according to His precepts, even that which seems to be bleak and hopeless will be turned by God for His glory and our benefit.
Hold on, God is faithful! May God bless you this week as you seek His will in every situation.
Addendum — Genius 50:20 (NIV) “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
[ Author Unknown — from Pat (email@example.com), Bill Champion (Tidbits Devotional) ]
Inspirational Stories SkyWriting.Net All Rights Reserved.
My life is a miracle.
On one of my social networking sites, I received a message from a fellow INFP personality who sympathized with my tendency to have “imaginary boyfriends”. He warned me not to develop the Pygmalion Syndrome. When I asked him what it was he sent me the following story.
In Greek legend, a brash young sculptor named Pygmalion found the women of Cyprus so impossibly flawed that he resolved to carve a statue of his ideal woman, embodying every feminine grace and virtue. For months he labored with all his prodigious skill (and also with a strange compulsion), rounding here, smoothing there, until he had fashioned the most exquisite figure ever conceived by art. So exquisite indeed was his creation that Pygmalion fell passionately in love with the statue, and could be seen in his studio kissing its marble lips, fingering its marble hands, dressing and grooming the figure as if caring for a doll.
But soon, and in spite of the work’s incomparable loveliness, Pygmalion was desperately unhappy, for the lifeless statue could not respond to his desires, the cold stone could not return the warmth of his love. He had set out to shape his perfect woman, but had succeeded only in creating his own frustration and despair.
The premise of this book is that, in our closest relationships, we all behave like Pygmalion to some extent. Many of us seem attracted at first to creatures quite different from ourselves, and seem to take pleasure in the contrast. But as we become more involved and start to vie for control of our relationships, we begin to see these differences as flaws. No longer satisfied with our loved ones as they are, we set about to change them, to transform them into our conception of what they should be. No longer able to appreciate our loved ones’ distinctive ways of living, we try to shape them according to our own values or agendas.
Like Pygmalion, in short, we take up the project of sculpting them little by little to suit ourselves. We snipe and criticize, brow-beat and bully, we sculpt with guilt and with praise, with logic and with tears — whatever methods are most natural to us. Not that we do this ceaselessly, nor always maliciously, but all too often, almost without thinking, we fall into this pattern of coercive behavior.
And like Pygmalion, we are inevitably frustrated, since our well-intentioned efforts to make over our mates bring us little more than disappointment and conflict. Our loved ones do not — cannot — comply meekly with our interference in their lives, and even if they were to surrender to our pressure, they would have to destroy in themselves what attracted us in the first place, their individuality, their distinct breath of life.
Our Pygmalion projects must fail: either our loved ones fight back, and our relationships become battlegrounds; or they give in to us, and become as lifeless as Pygmalion’s statue. In this paradoxical game, we lose even if we win.
In the legend, as it turns out, Venus took pity on Pygmalion and brought his statue to life, and he and “Galatea,” as he named her, blushed, embraced, and married with the goddess’s blessing. The rest of us, however, cannot rely on such miraculous intervention. Living in the real world, we are responsible ourselves for the success our relationships, and this means we must find a way to abandon our Pygmalion projects, by learning, if we can, to honor our fundamental differences in personality. For only by respecting the right of our loved ones to be different from ourselves — to be perfect in their own ways — can we begin to bring the beauty of our own relationships alive.
I think I’m guilty. But..none of my relationships ever progress to the point where I’m trying to change the other person simply because when I meet them and they don’t meet up with the standards I have set in my mind, I paint a big, fat red X on their foreheads and I can’t take them seriously.
I don’t think I’ve hoped for a perfect man in the past. I just hoped for someone who would accept me for me, in the same manner that I accept them. But I guess I’m not the only one with pygmalion syndrome because more often than not, I can tell they attempt to change me into what they want me to be too.
I guess we all have some work to do on appreciating the beauty that stands before us. Until we do, we’ll never be satisfied…and lonely.
Yearning To Talk Politics
My life is a miracle.
It’s amazing to me that we are nearing another presidential election and the two front runners for the Democratic ticket are both members of a minority group.
Who do I support? Umm…I don’t know. My gut says, “He’s a BLACK man! YAY! Vote for him just to see what will happen!” LOL!
And I think that’s what I’ll do.
I interviewed him last year and here’s the resulting story. When I listen to the tape I sounded like a ghetto chickenhead while I was trying to get his attention, “Senator OhhhBAHHHMA! Senator OhhhBAHHHMA!”
Lord, help me with my voice.
I really wish my friend Bernard was here so that I could talk politics with him. He has a way of explaining things to me that makes me feel empowered instead of stupid for not understanding in the first place.
Bernard is either in Iraq or on his way there, but he won’t be fighting, he’s in intelligence so he sits in front of the computer all day. ~smile~
I miss him.
He’s really my friend. I love everything about him and he gets on my nerves at the same time, but I love him anyway because he is who he is. And he feels the same way about me.
I miss him. I want to talk to him.
What are you thinking?
My life IS a miracle.
I know it’s hard to break years of conditioning that has forced us to believe that “they” are out there trying to bring us down. We believe that in order to achieve happiness we must take into account the adverse side to happiness and we prepare for the worst just so we won’t be dissappointed if we don’t see the realization of our true desires.
“He’s nice but…he could turn out like all the rest.”
“This is a good job but…I don’t want to get too comfortable because they could fire me at any time.”
“I want to own my own home but…people all around are foreclosing and losing theirs…”
We ASK for success, we really WANT it, but we PREPARE for failure.
Why is that?
Why is it that we can’t expect everything to be alright?
I’m not even preaching, I’ve been dealing with this today and I’m really talking to myself.
As I go about my freelance writing assignments, go on job interviews and even explore different avenues to transition myself to where I want to be, there’s a little negative voice that keeps saying, “This won’t work. You’re going to be stuck here. Everything that they have said about you is right. You won’t make it. Try again. They won’t respond to you. They don’t like you, etc.”
So my heart thinks it’s preparing to not get too happy just in case but its really sealing the demise of my dream if i choose to focus on the negative “what if” for too long.
But honestly, I know that isn’t true. Life is sooo seasonal. I’ve had seasons where I loved what I was doing professionally and I’ve had seasons where I’ve longed for more.
Since I believe in my dream of publishing books that will help the masses love themselves more and rid themselves of self sabotage, I’ve actually created my own path of struggle that is oh so necessary. How can I write about things I have not gone through myself? I WILL FIGURE THIS OUT…for you and for me.
I am in the place I want to encourage people to rise above. I’ve tried and I’ve believed and I’ve failed and I’ve tried again and I’ve risked it all and I’ve cried and I’ve fell out from exhaustion. But the best thing is, I’m STILL TRYING.
I’m defining my path by my choice to keep it moving.
I keep it moving by continuing to do my best and continuing to dream regardless of what I see in front of me. I keep it moving by continuing to be a blessing to my life coaching clients. My words of encouragement to them uplift me during the times when I allow my vision to become cloudy.
I am who I BELIEVE I am.
You are who you BELIEVE you are.
And your thoughts and beliefs are in direct alignment with what’s coming into your future.
What are you thinking?
Introducing My Imaginary Boyfriend Steve
Today I decided to poke a little fun at myself and I created an adventure involving my imaginary boyfriend. It was so much fun that I decided to go even further and introduce him to you all. Don’t laugh…he’s sooo much fun!
Introducing My Imaginary Boyfriend Steve
I’m on the metrorail on my way downtown for yet another job interview. I’ve enjoyed 6 months of freelance writing and hoping for a call back on any of the interviews that I had been on but I wasn’t discouraged at all. What God has for me is for me. Until it presents itself, I’m going to relax and enjoy my vacation.
As soon as I step off at the Government Center station, this dude rushes past me and knocks my bag off my shoulder. I give him a dirty look and he stops.
“Sorry about that,” he says.
“Whatever,” I say and keep walking.
“I got something that’ll make you smile!” he calls out after me as I hurry down the escalators.
I ignore him and quickly rush through the crowd of business men and tourists. My interview went great and I’m surprised. I showed them all of me, including telling them “I am not a gossip person and I just want to do my work. If social obligations are a part of this job then it won’t be a good fit for me.”
The woman interviewing me laughed and shook my hand. “We’ll get back with you,” she says. “It’s truly been a pleasure.”
I decide to stop in at Wendy’s for a chicken sandwhich on my way back to the metrorail station. I’m nibbling on my sandwhich inside the restaurant and reading my book when I hear a voice.
I look up. A greasy faced, gold toothed thug stares back at me. His white tee is stained with some kind of brown stuff and his shoes are busted and dirty.
“Hey,” I reply and immediately lower my gaze back to my book.
“Can I come sit with you?” he asks, taking a step toward me.
“Um….I’m waiting on someone. But thanks. I’m good.”
“Are you sure about that?” he smiles down at me.
“Yeah. He’ll be here any minute.”
Mr. Brown Stain dramatically gazes around the entire restaurant before saying, “Well, he ain’t here yet. Let me sit down for a minute.”
I open my mouth to curse at him when I feel a hand on my shoulder.
“Hey Baby. Who’s this?” I look at the hand on my shoulder and my first instinct is to stand up in self defense when I look up and see the dude who knocked my bag off my shoulder. He gives me a half smile and sits down.
“Oh, he was just saying Hi.” I say.
Mr. Brown Stain stammers and walks away.
“Where did you come from?” I ask him.
“I was sitting over there,” he says and guestures toward a corner set. “I saw you come in but you looked so mean that I just laughed and figured I shouldn’t bother you again.”
“Good idea,” I say and check him out.
He’s not wearing the coat he was wearing earlier. He’s in a dress shirt and tie. His shoes look comfortable but well taken care of.
“Why are you always looking so mean?” he asks.
I roll my eyes at him. “I’m focused.”
He laughs. “Is that what they call attitude these days?”
I give him the dirtiest look I can muster and he simply laughs again.
“You’re good at that,” he says. “You should be an actress.”
“Well, I have to go. See ya later,” I say and then stand up to brush the crumbs from my lap.
“You missed one,” he says and I duck as his hand reaches for my face.
“Dude. Slow down. I don’t know you like that.”
“You’re so feisty,” he says. “Wanna fight? Release some of that anger?” He raises his fists in a boxing stance.
I roll my eyes again and then I soften a bit and smile.
“Alright. See ya later,” I say. I see him shake his head as I turn to leave.
I sit down at the train station as I wait for the northbound train. I pull out my book and then I feel a bump. When I look up, it’s the dude, smiling at me.
“Are you stalking me already?” I ask.
“Are you stalking ME?” he asks back.
“Look, I just had an interview and I’m done for the day.”
“Me too. Where’d you interview?” I ask.
“You’re nosey!” he says.
“Hey,” he says and reaches into his shoulder bag. It’s black leather and almost identical to the one I’m carrying. He produces a CD in a plastic case. “Do you like The Boondocks?”
I grin. “Ughh. Nigga you gay!” I say and scoot down on the wooden bench.
“That shit was so funny!” he says and laughs, a deep throaty laugh.
“You laugh funny!” I tell him.
“You have big feet,” he says.
“Shut up!” I retort. “I wear them with style.”
“Those things are as big as mine,” he says.
“You know what?” I say and give him a stank look.
“Ahhh, there you go with the attitude again. You’re much prettier when your nose isn’t all scrunched up.”
“Ahhh, you’re blushing!” he says. “You like me don’t you?”
I laugh. “Shut up!”
“You’re in love with me. I can see it in your eyes. Love at first sight, huh?”
“You might as well go ahead and give me the number,” he says with a solemn expression. “I mean, if you don’t you’ll always wonder what if.”
“You can’t have my number. I don’t date.”
“Who said I wanted to take you out? I don’t have money to feed you!”
I crack up. “I guess we’re too unemployed professionals on the grind, huh?”
“Always,” he says. “So can I email you then?” He reaches into his pocket and produces a blackberry.
My heart hurts. He’s so funny but…I don’t want to risk letting him in. I don’t want to risk letting him get to know me and finding out that I’m way too over the top for him, to sexually open for him, too spiritually evolved for him.
“Look, you can google me. I’m a writer. There’s lots of stuff online about me. If you like what you read, you can find my email and send me a note.”
I input my pen name into his phone.
“Ohhkay..” he says and places his phone back into his pocket. “I’ll do that. And you can hold this DVD I burned, it has the entire season 1 collection of The Boondocks on it. But notice I said HOLD, not have, unless you have $5.”
“Dude, you got jokes!” I say.
“That’s what they say. By the way, my name is Steve….”
to be continued…
My life is a miracle.
But the lives of rap mogul Russell Simmon’s children are even more of a miracle. I just finished watching an episode of Run’s House.
Besides having calm, loving parents, these kids have a father who is so well connected that anything that they could ever want to pursue gets done in an instant.
Wanna start a shoe line? Call aunty Kimora.
Wanna record deal? I’ll call and set up a meeting for you, son.
Wanna move to New York or LA? Just go and find an apartment and I’ll take care of it for you.
I wonder if they even know how hard out here it is?
But you know…they’ll never know and that’s cool.
Back to the grind…
I am not: the person that I appear to be
I hurt: when others are hurting
I love: encouraging others
I hate: wearing a bra
I hope: to become the person that I always dreamt of
I hear: that repetitive failure leads to ridiculous success if you don’t quit
I regret: not loving myself sooner
I cry: when I can’t see my sons because I have no money to feed them
I care: about my friends
I always: look for inspiration in everything
I long to: be able to use my gift to prosper
I feel alone: most of the time
I listen: to my intuition
I hide: my tattoo
I drive: a Chrysler 300
I sing: because I’m happy
I dance: like a video vixen
I write: to reveal my heart
I breathe: without thinking about it
I play: with my sons at the park
I miss: Lauryn Hill
I search: for spiritual enlightenment
I say: I love you to myself all the time
I feel: like life is one grand journey and we should strive to enjoy the ride
I succeed: no matter what I try to do
I fail: when I don’t try again
I dream: vividly and I always remember my dreams
I sleep: for a few hours at a time
I wonder: if this year will be better than the last one
I want: to be financially secure
I worry: about how my life will affect my sons in the long run
I have: too many aspirations
I give: too much too soon
I fight: way less than I should
I wait: for the season of successful bliss
I am: too legit to quit
I think: about things I could have done differently
I can’t: play any musical instruments
I stay: in a dream state
My Imaginary Boyfriend Chronicles- Email Introductions
I didn’t hear from Steve for another three days.
I’m sitting in front of my laptop and laughing at the comments on Mediatakeout when I hear the chime of an incoming email message.
I click on the link from a sender with the initials SH. The subject heading reads: You are amazing
I figure it’s one of my blog readers and I’m surprised when I read:
Hey Ms. Tee,
All I have to say is Wow. I googled you and spent the last 3 days reading all of your writing. I’ve read EVERYTHING and you really, really do need a book deal or a column or something. I don’t see how you put your heart into your writing like that. You’re def inspirational. You reveal the parts of you that most people would never admit to. I know I wouldn’t. But maybe it’s because I care too much about what other people think.
I found your blog too. It wasn’t a direct link but I did some digging and all I can say is…Wow. You’ve led an adventurous life. There’s something about you, Tee. You have the stuff that success stories are made of. I hope that you aren’t allowing this lull to get you down.
I’d like to talk to you sometime. Let me know when you have a minute. I’m usually up late, working on some projects.
I read his email again and shake my head. He wrote some very kind words and I really appreciate them. Maybe we’ll be internet friends.
I clicked reply and wrote:
I’m usually up late too. Thanks for your kind words. I do believe writing is my gift. Inspiration is the basis of all of my writing. Do you have messenger? I have yahoo. We can chat.
Five minutes later, my email alert chimes again.
Hey Ms. Tee,
Naw…I don’t do messenger. Hell, I’m a man. I don’t even have a myspace page. But if you’re still a little nervous about giving me your number, I understand. We can email until you feel more comfortable. Have you heard back from the job interview yet?
No, I haven’t heard back from them yet. It’s okay. Everything that happens is divine. Umm…since you’ve read all of my writing, you know a lot about me and I know nothing about you. Care to fill me in? What part of Miami are you in?
I’m not in Miami. I was down there for a week, visiting my brother and his wife and meeting with a few people about a big project I’m working on. I live in New York. I have a brownstone in Brooklyn that I share with my friend Rick, but he’s moving soon so I’ll have the place to myself again.
I travel a lot for my work. You can say that I’m an investor. My passion is graphic design, but I only do it for fun, that’s not where the money is and I’m all about making LOOT. Are you from Miami?
Yes, I’m from Miami. Born and raised in the county of Dade. ~smile~ I’m from the inner city. A place called Liberty City. My whole family is from here too. Are you from New York? You don’t have that New York accent. Do you have a creative portfolio that I can look at?
A creative portfolio? Umm….You hiring or something? I’ll shot you a few jpegs of my work.
Well, yes and no about being from New York. I was born here but my father and I moved to Southern California when I was about 3 and he and my Mom divorced. So I was raised there. I have one brother, the one in Miami. I came back to NY after I finished school in Atlanta. I got a business degree from Clark, then came here to go to Syracuse and I got my MBA. I started law school, but I dropped out because my design business started taking off. That was about 5 years ago and I don’t regret it. I moved back to Brooklyn and although I don’t do design myself, I oversee a staff of designers, more like consultants and we do business all over the country. When I was in Miami I was interviewing a potential consultant.
So you’re saying you own a graphic design consulting firm? Wow.
Yes, I do. But it’s not my main deal. It’s a virtual business and I have people to run it for me. I just make sure the money’s coming in and I pursue other interests, like real estate. That’s where the money is.
Where’s your Mom?
She’s here. She lives in Carnegie Hill. I talk to her everyday. She got married a long time ago, but is now divorced. She’s retired. She used to be an interior designer but now she just hangs out with her friends. She travels a lot too. That’s where I get my traveling bug from.
What are you doing right now?
Umm..Emailing with you. I’m trying to find something good to watch on TV but I don’t know. Do you like that new Snoop Dogg reality show?
Yeah. I love Snoop. At first it seemed a bit scripted but I decided to give it another try. What I didn’t like was him pressuring his wife about expanding her business over their romantic dinner. But she handled herself well. I don’t like when others try to push people to be something they are not. Even though I’m a life coach, I don’t push. I learned not to do that, I allow people to tell me their dreams, I give them steps to move toward it and when they don’t do them, I can tell they are just dreaming for the sake of dreaming. Then I delve into why they are disatisfied with their lives and it’s rarely that they are not where they want to be. It’s mostly because they are not where other people feel they should be. I try to get them to understand that and then redefine themselves on their own terms.
You’re like a therapist. I can see it all in your writing. I hope I’m not being too forward when I ask, What’s going on with you and these men? Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
I don’t know. I think I sabotage most of my relationships out of fear. I’m working on that. But ultimately, what it comes down to is, I haven’t met anyone in real life that I really liked and they liked me back.
What do you mean “real life”?
Well. LOL! I have an active imagination. I tend to idealize the men I meet and fall in love with them based on qualities I imagine them to have, but they may not even have them because I don’t get to know them well before I fall in love.
Wow. You’re honest. So you’re saying you’ve never met anyone at all, that you liked in real life? How can that be? I saw so many men looking at you the day we met.
Yeah, they look. I see them looking but I’m so scared to talk to them that I usually just run away. I did meet a man last year who I thought was so great but I never got to know him and then I found out he has a girlfriend anyway. Oh well. Do you have a longtime girlfriend, wife or baby mama I need to know about?
ha haha…no. No serious girl, although I do date around sometimes. Nothing serious though. My Mom is pressuring me to settle down. She wants me to get married but I always tell her that I’m only 33 and I have time. I believe that.
Yeah. I do too. You have plenty of time. Well. it’s been nice chatting with you. I’ll check up on you again sometime soon. Will you be in Miami anytime in the near future?
I can be in Miami tomorrow if you want me to be! I think we should hang out. I think it’ll be fun. You can show me around Miami. Besides, I want my Boondocks DVD back. I hope you didn’t scratch it.
LOL! I didn’t. I watched a few episodes the other night. You will get it back in good condition. Don’t worry. Nice meeting you.