Today I received an odd phone call from my son’s school.
“I’m so sorry to do this,” my son’s teacher cooed into the phone. “I really am. Please understand I enjoyed you when you volunteered in my class. Umm..The principal has asked me to let you know that neither you nor the boy’s stepmother are needed for the field trip this week. If you have any questions you can call the principal. Again..I am so sorry about this.”
I explained to her that I understood and that I had to go. I was on the other line in the middle of an interview when she called.
I sat back and thought about it. Yes, this certainly was a cause of concern. My sons are taking a fieldtrip to Orlando this weekend and they asked me to go with them. I hustled up the money to go and paid for the trip months ago and was so excited. My sons also told me that their Daddy’s girlfriend signed up to go on the fieldtrip.
The situation becomes stickly because she is very disrespectful and rude to me whenever she is around me, insulting me, calling me names whenever my BBDD is out of earshot.
So I called up the school principal to see what she had to say. She explained to me that my children’s father called her to warn her that his girlfriend and I have a conflict and that there might be trouble on the fieldtrip. Because he warned her, she had to mediate by letting us both know that we are not welcome to attend the fieldtrip.
We went back and forth for a while, in a civilized manner. I’m asking her how his GIRLFRIEND’s attitude could possibly mean that I can’t attend a fieldtrip with my son and she’s saying that she thought he was my BBDD’s wife and she didn’t want to be in the middle of it since the fieldtrip would be out of town and she wouldn’t be there.
Honestly, I wasn’t too dissappointed. I agree that the situation wasn’t one I was looking forward to but I wanted to go so I would have to deal with it. It’s just a fieldtrip.
I am not in competition with her and never will be. ~shrugs~ There is no competition. I get my money back from that field trip and I get to go and have a nice dinner with my sons for Mother’s Day. Yay me!
But my friends are in a huff because they feel like his girlfriend should not stand in the way of me spending time with my sons.
So let’s figure out what does she get out of being rude? I think maybe she just flat out doesn’t respect me.
And why should she? Whenever she came at me with some BS before I would just be calm and not set her straight, trying to compromise, trying to be the bigger person.
So now she’s playing the bully role..and only because she can’t bully anyone else in her life. I’m a willing participant, PLUS she sees that it bothers me when she makes her nasty comments. In a way I’m a pawn in her little game. She pulls the strings, pushes my buttons and causes me to react in a rash manner to cause confusion between me and my BBDD.
I’m not dramatic like that. I don’t cause confusion intentionally. I’m a peacemaker.
But…the REAL thing that gets me is…
WHY DID MY BBDD CALL THE SCHOOL TO WARN THEM?
He could have pulled his girl to the side and been like, “Hey, you two don’t like each other, why don’t you pull back from this fieldtrip and go on the next one?”
No..he couldn’t say that. He can’t control what she does and he doesn’t have any influence in her decisions. Which leads me to believe..
Wow…My BBDD is not in control of this relationship. He’s a punk.
From what I see, she is the one making all the charges and running shit. I hear he even asked her to marry him and she said No.
It makes perfect sense. Everytime I ask him to talk to her and tell her to stop being disrespectful to me, he never does. Nothing happens. When she is disrespectful to me in front of him, he does nothing. He doesn’t even bat an eye.
She has him by the balls and is probably treating him the way he wanted me to treat him, as though he had to earn my love. I remember him asking me to criticize him more but i refused because..fuck that..I don’t have time. But some guys NEED that argument, that stank attitude in order to feel like they have something worth something.
Sometimes in a relationship, when you act like you don’t care about a person, they run after you even more. To some this looks like POWER, but its really manipulation.
Who wants to keep running from someone they really want? Who wants to play this game forever?
I am a person of compromise in every situation. Some people see that as being weak, but I’ll do anything to make peace. I can’t wait to meet someone who appreciates that quality instead of seeing it as a flaw.
Wow. This seriously makes me look at him differently.
All those years…I was running after him, hoping he’d love me…and THIS CHICK is the chick that gets him to be a punk… Wow.
I lost major respect for him today. I mean, he did the right thing by tattling on us, because it saved the school some heartache because I was ready for whatever…I don’t care anymore…but he showed that he can’t handle his business himself…which is fucked up.
Who run that shit? He sure doesn’t.
I wish them both well. They truly deserve each other.