I was released from the hospital today. What a great birthday present! I’m feeling a little weak but it’s great to be free. Thanks for all of the blog love! Just a little more rest and I’ll be back…
I was released from the hospital today. What a great birthday present! I’m feeling a little weak but it’s great to be free. Thanks for all of the blog love! Just a little more rest and I’ll be back…
Hmm…My birthdate is 7-2-79. My favorite number is 27.
Yep, I made it to 27. ~looking around~ Nothing really looks different to me. But I kinda feel like something is happening and I can’t recognize what it is. I hope it’s good. LOL!
Today is my youngest son’s birthday. He turned 4. I took cupcakes and capri sun’s to his school to celebrate and thank God, he enjoyed it and it made him feel special. I really couldn’t afford to do that, but you can’t ignore your child’s birthday. It’s a sin.
Then we all came home and hung out a bit while I battled the monster that is the after effects of a bout with my lactose intolerance. I don’t know WHY I had that bowl of icecream last night. Wait…yes I do, it was delicious. But dealing with these mind numbing cramps cancel out the pleasure of strawberry icecream. I swear this pain feels worse than child birth. The cramps I get last just as long as contractions.
My 5 year old heard me screaming and cussing during one of my cramps and he came over to me and patted my hand. “Breathe,” he told me. “Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Push. Push.”
I could barely slap his little hand away in annoyance and after a couple of seconds I began to listen to him because his coaching actually helped. ~smile~ He is so wonderful.
Oh no! Here it..comes…I am never eating fucking icecream again. This is horrible. ~crying~
Damn…I feel a little better. Where was I?
Late at night when I put them to bed I walk around my beautiful home and smile. The airconditioner feels so nice. It’s semi-clean too. I mean, if you squint your eyes. Today is the 5th and I still don’t have my rent money. I won’t even mention the other bills that have piled up while I am still searching for a job. ~sigh~
What’s going to happen to me? Will I lose it all?
I can’t help but think of Yolanda and her birthday timeline. All kind of drama happened to her during her first 36 years on earth. I’m sure there were times when she thought she wouldn’t make it through. But after reading all of that in hindsight, things don’t seem as stressful as they may have seemed while she was going through it.
That encouraged me. Even though right now things seems so harsh and scary, it will only take one moment, one phone call, one breath, for everything to change for the better. And then this heartache will be a distant memory and I will be facing the next battle with even more strength.
This is not permanent. I will find my place in this world. I will not give up. I will not shut down.
If Bobby Brown can make a come-back, so can I.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
George Bernard Shaw
~warning~ GIRL TALK~ GIRL TALK~ GIRL TALK~ GIRL TALK~
I ended up back at the Urgent Care yesterday. Too many things were going wrong with my body and with no insurance or primary physician it was my only option.
I assumed my cramps were from the icecream I ate on the 4th of july but when I have lactose intolerant cramps they only last a few hours. My excruciating cramps had persisted for 3 days along with consistent “Dee-Area”. My body felt weak and my lips were cracked.
Soon after I arrived I was hooked up to an IV getting some fluids in my dehydrated body and I immediately felt better. When the doctor came he told me that there was still some infection in my kidneys.
“Well,” I told him as I reached into my purse. “This prescription they wrote me when I left the hospital last week, man, this stuff costs $200. I can’t afford that so I didn’t get it filled.”
“Well, the medicine you need to fight off this infection is very strong and that’s why it’s expensive. The only other alternative is to get your medicine intravenously but you’d have to stay in the hospital the full two weeks to get it.”
“Sorry. No can do. I have two small kids to take care of. You gotta think of something else. Can you give me a generic version or something? Some samples or something?”
“Yes. I can do that. I’ll send the nurse back in with your prescription.”
When they released me I went on over to Walgreens to fill my prescription. “How much is it?” I asked the pharmacy intern nervously. “Oh, the total is $33.”
Damn! From $200 to $33. This medicine shit is all about money. I would have been better by now if they had given me this prescription the first damn time.
And things have been even more hectic because as soon as I was released from the hospital I started noticing problems “down there”.
My friend Tonya calls me.
“Hey girl! Where are you?”
“Oh, I’m in Puerto Rico, on my way back,” she says.
“Ooh, any cute Puerto Ricans around?”
“Uh..No,” she says dryly. Tonya has a sarcastic twang to her speech patterns that would cause you to think she’s a bitch but she’s not. She just talks like that. You gotta love her anyway. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”
“Girl, forget about that. I was in the hospital for 5 days with a kidney infection.”
“Yeah. Tamara told me. How are you?”
“I’m okay girl. But now..Girl. I have this problem. It’s my….you know. Ever since I got out of the hospital it’s been burning. It’s been hot. And itchy.”
“Girl, did they give you antibiotics while you were in the hospital?”
“Girl, then that ain’t nothing but a yeast infection,” she said as if she was annoyed. “You never had one before?”
“NO!” ugh… I read about them though.
“Go to the drug store and get you some cream. In 3 days you’ll be fine. Antibiotics cause you to get them.”
As friend after friend called to chat with me I relayed the news about my new infection. It seems that everyone had already experienced it but me and everyone had their own remedy.”
Just sit in a bathtub full of warm water and swish it around down there. If you can, push your finger in there and pull the yeast out.
Girl, go get you some Summer’s Eve feminine wash and put it down there twice a day and it will stop the burning and itching.
That shit BURNED ME!
Eat some yogurt girl. My friend says she puts the yogurt inside of her too and it helps.
I got some yogurt but um…I’m not about to waste it on my….
You know what helps? S-E-C-K-S. When I have a yeast infection and I have secks it goes away immediately.
Ughh! When I think of secks I think of a 2 day old pot of oatmeal mixed with fried fish grease, soggy corn flakes and mayonaise. Yuck. Penis disgusts me.
I must be getting old. I have never had so many problems with my body before. Here are a few other home remedies…CLICK HERE.
It’s rough being a woman…
Men really underestimate our strength. Lemme go get some more yogurt.
WORDS FOR THE WISE
Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you don’t; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
I found this picture at my Mama’s house yesterday. I stared it for a quite a while. I remember that day.
I was 22. I was on my way to our college television news auditions. Even though I was a magazine journalism major (you could only choose one major) I met with the television broadcasting department heads and convinced them to allow me to audition. I told them that I was talented and eager and I would be an asset to their news team. I guess they believed me. They granted me permission to audition although broadcasting wasn’t my major.
I was very excited that day. Two of my friends Marsha and Michelle were supposed to go to the auditions with me. Both of them were actually majoring in television broadcasting but they were both a little slow in jumping into the audition process. Just before I left to pick up Michelle and head over to campus, Marsha called and canceled. It upset me a little. If this is supposed to be your lifelong dream, why are you being complacent about it? Oh well.
I remember going in to the studio and signing up for the sports anchor auditions. The teleprompter wasn’t working that day so we had to read from a hand held script. I sat down in the anchor seat, the lights blared, the camera whirred and…I nailed that shit.
As much as I love to create, as much as I love to blog and write articles and tell stories…the magic that happens when I am standing in front of a crowd or in front of a camera..well, it simply doesn’t compare. I am a much better speaker and host than I am a writer.
I never get nervous. I vibe off of the energy of a live audience. I connect with the camera. I come alive as if by some mystical force. I never worry about what the audience is going to think of me. Before I go on I make sure I look great and even when I make a mistake I have a way of making fun of myself and it doesn’t even bother me to look like a fool in front of a crowd. ~smile~
I remember once in a college production I was modeling and as soon as I hit the center of the stage, the music turned off. Everyone was staring at me and what did I do? I shook my thang! Did a lil twist! Smiled and waved. It was nothing to me.
I have always felt that even though I make a mistake in front of a crowd, I am Ms. Tee. I am still great. Who can deny it?
Well, on the day of the auditions my friend Michelle did a great job too. After the sports anchor auditions were over, the set manager came up to me and congralulated me on a job well done. I beamed but I wasn’t suprised. I had done television news since I was 8 years old. I hosted my first show in kindergarten. No big deal.
The weather auditions began and I stood by to watch my girl Michelle try out. At the time I didn’t know that there was a sort of hierarchy to being cast on the news team. You begin by being a weather anchor, then move on to sports or news anchor, then local cable anchor. The set manager asked me to sign up for the weather auditions and I did, just for fun.
But when my turn came I froze. For the first time in my life it seemed that there was a force beyond my control gluing me to my spot in the corner. Before I knew it there were tears in my eyes as I ran out of the studio. I stood outside in the warm night air trying to understand what had happened. My heart was beating wildly and my spirit seemed to scream at me: STAY AWAY.
I drove Michelle home in a daze.
When I got back to my apartment I sat there in silence for hours. A week or so later I went back to the studio to see if I made the cut.
Michelle did. She was the new weather person.
I cried for a while after I saw the line up and I went home and indulged in some icecream. I cheered myself up by reminding myself that I had just completed a successful internship at the local radio station and I had been offered a summer internship at a newspaper in St. Augustine. I was also weeks away from starting an internship at a local television station thanks to some begging and pleading on my part.
The one thing I refused to allow myself to think about was the bulge in my belly.
I was pregnant again.
I already had one son who was barely a year old and as soon as my children’s father and I decided to try to be back together, it happened again. When we sat down to discuss it he convinced me that having another child was the worst decision I could make. “It’s like shooting yourself in the foot,” he said. “You have all of these opportunities lined up for you. Why would you jeopardize that? After you graduate we can get married and have another baby. Don’t do this to yourself.”
He was right. I had fought hard to get back into school and back on my feet. I decided to have the abortion. The only thing that stopped us was the cost of the procedure. We had to save up to get it.
Thank God for being broke. By the time we got the money I had changed my mind. He promptly broke up with me and I went on with my life.
It’s funny that I came across this picture just yesterday. I think about that day often. It was the day I chose my child over my career. I had to give up the internships. Now I see why things happened the way they did at the auditions. I had no idea why I froze that day but now I know why. I was going to keep my baby. I wouldn’t have time to be an anchor.
My heart still beats for mass media but I don’t have the experience necessary to get me in the door at most newspapers, magazines or TV stations. I still try. I still call and send out home made tapes and try to persuade editors to give me a chance. It’s tough without the background but I don’t think it’s impossible.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking during this down time. I’d love to say I feel better but I don’t. Hopefully soon though.
I’ve been considering leaving Miami.
I love living here. It’s a dream come true being in this kind of paradise but…the cost of living is too high for me to make it comfortably. Even when I was working my rent took up almost half of my salary and I don’t live in the greatest of neighborhoods, I live right next to one though.
Could this situation be the driving force that pushes me away from my beautiful city? A smaller town may give me a chance at pursuing my dream and finagling a job at a paper, magazine or TV station with limited experience.
I don’t know. All I know is…I don’t want to completely forget about the talent that I know I have. The drive that I have is unmatched however I have to be realistic because I am supporting a family on my own.
Yeah, I put my pride aside and I let my children’s father know about my situation and I asked for his help. He said because he is on a budget he can only give me the money he uses for the kids summer camp which means that I have to keep the kids home with me. He wrote a check for $280 and put it in their bag. Thanks so much.
I don’t want to move away from here and I have no idea how I’ll do it if I do get a job offer but sometimes situations force you to make drastic moves. My resume has been revised with a brand new Atlanta address courtesy of my friend Vicky. I’m looking there first.
I was in the hospital when she called to see how I was doing. I rattled on and on about urinating every 20 minutes and the sucky hospital food and how much I missed my kids. As soon as I took a breath for air she chimed in and said, “I have news too.”
“What news girl?”
It took about 5 seconds for it to register. I put down the phone and bit my lip. I replaced the receiver and whispered, “What you gonna do?”
“What you mean what am I gonna do? I’m 27. I’m gonna have my baby.”
I released a small sigh.
Damn. I hadn’t heard those words from an unwed friend in years. My friend Dee is one of those cute chicks with a great body, beautiful personality and a bright future. While all of our friends were popping out kids at the turn of the century, she remained single and unattached.
She’s going to be a mother. Wow.
“So what happened with your boy?” I asked her. “How did he react?”
“Oh, he says he doesn’t want anymore kids and he doesn’t want me to have it. He’s serious too. I told him not to worry about it because this baby is mine and if he doesn’t want to deal with it then I won’t make him.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah girl. It’s not like I haven’t watched all of my friends raise children on their own. All of my friends did it. My sister did it. You are doing it. It’s not impossible.”
She’s having a baby.
The thought made me cry. I’ve known her since I was fourteen years old. Through no particular effort we have managed to remain close friends through all of these years and now…now…I get to be with her as she steps into the most wonderful evolution of her life. I get to see her belly swell and go to her baby shower. I get to visit her in the hospital with flowers and kiss her baby’s toes and watch as she grows.
For the first time ever I realized that Dee and I will probably be friends forever. We’ll probably be old ladies bragging on our children and sipping wine on the porch together. I’m an integral part of her life, just like she is an important part of mine. We’re sisters in a way…fighting the same battles and sincerely hoping for the best for each other.
You never think about that when you first meet someone. You don’t realize how much they will impact your life.
She called me with an interesting update on her situation. Even though she was stuck on STUPID, someone else had been stuck on her. They met a few years back and within a few months of meeting her he professed his love for her.
I remember when she first told me I laughed. She barely hung out with him, never entertained his advances and certainly never hunched him. he was sprung off of her essence, I guess. Although he knew she was seeing someone else, he still made it clear that he loved her and wanted her. She continued to be his friend but she said she didn’t want to use him. She was so sincere and she felt bad that she couldn’t return his affection.
When she told him that she was pregnant he was surprised but not dissappointed. By the end of the conversation he was elated and offered her a solution.
“Marry me. Come live with me,” he told her. “I’ll take care of you and the baby. Give the baby my last name. I love you.”
She wasn’t too surprised by his offer, he had always treated her this way. He always wanted to be her knight in shining armor.
“So what are you gonna do?” I asked her once again, my mind floating back to the man in my life who once loved me like he loves her.
“I don’t know. He’s so sincere,” she said with a sigh. “I think I may give him a chance. I don’t know. I’m just taking it one day at at time.”
Well you know me. I’m on a -Don’t believe him he’s a liar! They are all liars! He’s trying to trap you so that you can never find happiness! He’s out to run your life!- tip.
But I won’t tell her that. If I did she’d probably laugh at me.
My friend Kim always says, “Sometimes it ain’t about love dawg. Sometimes it’s about how much the man loves and respects you. If he treats you like a queen, you can learn to love him.”
Man…I think about the man in my life who offered the same thing to me. I turned him down. We’re still friends and I must admit, of every man I’ve come across in life, he has treated me the best.
I walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me, hoping for the worst thing that ever happened to me to turn into a prince. He never did.
Maybe love…that passionate, crazy, out of control feeling is under rated. Maybe love is stability and dedication despite the circumstances.
I remember this newly married woman I met in college. She moved to this country because a friend of mine loved her and wanted to marry her. In confidence she told me, “You know, I always wanted to marry someone I could be passionate about and love so much. But I told myself that if I never met that man, then I’d marry [her husband] because I know he is passionate about me and loves me so much.”
And she did.
And they are still married.
Did she settle? No, I don’t think so. I think she just wised up.
Maybe he is sincere and will treasure her as his prize for the rest of his life.
The Greatest Gift
In fact, I’m better than okay. I’m off of antibiotics for my kidney infection so I’m hoping that the side effects will go away soon. I’ve been very tired and irritable and I’ve managed to deal with my sons well even though I feel like I’m too weak to move most days. I’ve lost a lot of weight due to the chronic diarrhea, cha cha cha. I look like a cracked out version of myself.
But that’s okay too.
Today I received a call from my friend Kim’s grandmother. She called just to check up on me since she heard I was sick. She told me how much she loves me and is so glad that I’m friends with her granddaughter because she thinks that I am a positive influence on her and after all the years of knowing all of her friends she believes that I am the best one.
I was speechless. How do you respond to something like that?
Kim and I have one major thing in common, we both like to talk. But Kim has been there for me more times than I would care to mention. I rarely have anything to give her except for a strong word to calm her when she’s being emotional. When she calls me tonight I’m going to really make fun of her, “Dude, your gramma called me today telling me you’re in love with me. I told you I wasn’t interested in you like that. Never will be. You’re too ugly for me.”
She’ll laugh and I’ll laugh and we’ll ease on to another subject but the fact remains we are like family. So many women never experience the sisterhood of friendship and some experience it in a very superficial way because they won’t allow themselves to get too DEEP with another woman out of fear or insecurity or baggage from past relationships.
I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my friends. These chicks work hard and their accomplishments make me believe that I can do anything. I tell myself often that if a man can’t treat me like my friends do, then he isn’t worth having.
In a way, it’s as if Kim and I are in a long term relationship sans the secks. We speak to each other first thing in the morning. We email during the day and call or chat at night. We never make decisions without consulting each other and we trust that the opinion given will be of our best interest with no hidden agendas or secret sabotage attempts.
We pray on the phone together and share scriptures to affirm our beliefs that God will have His way in our lives. We both want to be philanthropists and activists and we have a heart for helping women grow and learn to love themselves and others.
And she’s not the only friend who loves me like that. I am so grateful that God would give me good friends. I’m so grateful that although I am sick right now I am not battling much worse ailments.
I weep for Juli and her son Curtis who is having problems with his kidney. I feel guilty because I complain and I cry about not having my dream career yet both of my sons are healthy and happy. I am healthy and maintaining through this storm. Imagine if we lived in another country, any country, say one of the countries in the middle east. Imagine what life would be like for us. My biggest concern wouldn’t be which magazine or publishing house rejected me. It would be wondering if we would live another day.
I wouldn’t care about some man who left me years ago if I was in Africa, I would be trying to keep my family alive.
As much shit as we talk about living in America and how messed up Bush is and how he is ruining the country, Bush is just the figurehead. Blaming him is like blaming Barbie for the sad, superficial ideal of beauty she has placed on women in America. There are silent powers at work with money and a master plan.
We are blessed to live in this country. We are blessed to have the freedom to speak out against our leaders. We are blessed to “suffer” like we do, complaining in unemployment lines as we receive our welfare. Things could be so much worse.
I realized today that although my bank account is on ‘E’, my gas tank reads the same and no man has ever shown me the same love and devotion that I have shown them, I am so rich.
I am rich because my two sons call me Mama and fight over who gets to sit in my lap everyday. There are women out there who pray nightly for a chance to conceive.
I am rich because I have already overcome obstacles that seemed impossible. There are women out there who have given up.
I am rich because I am surrounded by great women (and a couple of men) who believe in me and won’t allow me to forget my dreams.
I am so rich.
ANd I love you Lord.
This life you have given me, although riddled with potholes and potty breaks has been one helluva journey so far but you’ve gotten me this far and I know you won’t desert me.
THANK YOU LORD!
THANK YOU LORD!
I never pretend to be perfect or to have all the answers or all the advice. I’m just growing, you know. And I stay hopeful. And I try to put out the same energy that I want to receive. And I laugh with the same gusto in which I cry and I hope with the force of hurricane winds.
I am alive dammit.
I am alive.
For that I’m grateful and I am thankful to God for taking the time to breathe the breath of life into my lungs 27 years ago. He didn’t have to. He didn’t have to wake me up this morning. But He chose to and I am gonna spend every day thanking Him even when I feel like I don’t deserve it.
Like I said in the beginning, I am okay.
No matter what is going on in your life.
YOU ARE OKAY TOO.
Be grateful to Him who supplies all of your needs according to His riches and glory.
Your life is a gift. Don’t take it for granted.
You Bring Me Joy
Everytime I hear your voice
Everytime I see your face
Everytime I think of you
You bring me joy
Sometimes up to no good
Even though you ain’t hood
You got the shit that shook
Not even a Stan
Even less of a fan
No traveling to foreign lands
To see you do your silly dance
Still I appreciate you
Flowing through my cable
All up in my mental stable
Telling me I can
Everytime I hear your voice
Everytime I see your face
Everytime I think of you
You bring me joy
God Put It On My Heart
“You’ve been praying about God leading you haven’t you?” the founder of the women’s magazine asked me during our first interview.
I nodded my head as my gaze shifted to the window. Although this seems like the opportunity of a lifetime, something just doesn’t feel right about this.
“I think God led you here. I have been praying too,” she said and squinted her eyes. “I’m almost tearing up because of His goodness.”
We all know what happened with that job. Apparently God forgot to tell her that I needed to be paid for my services.
“How did you find out about this company?” the president asked me during my interview for the position at the PR firm back in February.
“My former Pastor found the company online and told me about it and I decided I’d check it out.”
She shook her head in amazement. “That’s God,” she told me. “This is sooo God.”
Fast forward to 2 months later….
“Um, I thought God sent me here,” I said to her after she explained why she was letting me go. “I wonder why He would do that.”
She rustled a few papers on her desk and spoke. “Maybe He wanted you to see that there are many different types of writing and maybe you should be a little more open to doing other things.”
“Hey, I tried my best. I know I have skills, this just isn’t one of them.”
“You know God put it on my heart that you should come live with me,” she told me with a serious expression.
Huh? “Why would I do that?”
“What’s going to happen when you can’t afford to keep your place? How could you put your boys through that?”
“Wait a minute, that hasn’t happened yet and I’m not gonna even worry about it until it does happen.”
She shakes her head sadly as if to say ‘poor baby’.
But I know that her offer for me and my sons to move in with her isn’t strictly to bless ME. She needs my money to move into her new place. Without my contribution, she and her boyfriend don’t have enough to cover the move in costs.
“Why would you continue to struggle paying your bills late and paying such high rent when you can come live with us and we can split it? You can have your own room.”
Me and my two sons living in one room?
My life hasn’t gotten that bad yet. I don’t understand why she would even suggest that.
Yes I do.
She’s trying to manipulate me by using God.
Once again, I’m assumed to be a duck who doesn’t have any brains or relationship with God of my own.
I really wish people would stop using God as a tool to get what they want from others. I had enough of that at my old church. If you want to please God, be obedient to us.
God, I know that I have a desire to please others and be a blessing. Sometimes I take it too far even when I know the person doesn’t appreciate my actions. I only do this because I want to show unconditional love. I know they see me as weak because I just want to help. Please protect me from the wolves who come to milk me for my time, energy and love for their own selfish agenda.
I don’t know why you made me like this Lord, but…one day I hope that the right person or company comes along and they really appreciate my heart instead of seeing me as a patsy they can abuse.
Check Your Heart
When I was younger I had a problem with going off on people. I learned a negative communication style from my household and it carried over into my own personality.
As a young adult I promised myself that I would get a grip on this yelling and screaming and telling people off. Ask anyone around me and they’ll tell you, I have seriously changed my ways. But it took a consistent effort on my part to calm down when I am angry and I had to sometimes “lose” a fight in order to win.
“It’s not what you say it’s how you say it,” people would always say to me. I realized that I was saying things IN TRUTH but not IN LOVE. No one wants to hear you pass judgement on them, even if you are right. No one wants to be berated or belittled because you need to make your point known.
Saying things IN LOVE means offering a word of correction in a way that the person will take it as a word of encouragement.
Sometimes it is as simple as checking your motives before you open your mouth.
Check your heart. If you find yourself constantly analyzing someone’s life and finding that they are always messing up, then maybe you have too much time on your hands. Why would you sit there and analyze someone else’s life? How does that benefit you or your household?
Check your heart. If you are prone to “tell a bitch off” because they need to hear the truth then maybe you aren’t as mature as you think you are. Only children say whatever comes to their minds. Grown ups think of the consequences and weigh whether or not their words will be received in the best possible way. Or maybe you don’t care. Maybe you just want to feel like you are superior to the other person involved and giving them a good tongue lashing would satisfy your ego which means your words aren’t really for their benefit.
Check your heart. Gossip is for bored old ladies. Why would you care if Tangela and her man had a fight last night? If Tangela confided in you that means she trusts you and looked to you for support. Don’t abuse her trust by going over all the details of her mishap with all of your friends. What’s the point? How does that help her? But it sure feels good to look at her and think, “I would never put up with that!” Maybe not, but you put up with other things don’t you? And if you don’t, then hooray for you, have a heart and pray for your sister to grow in the area where she falls weak.
Before I consider a person to be my friend, I take into regard how they speak of their other friends. Are they always gossiping about how none of them can get their lives together? Are they always lieing to them and laughing at their misfortune?
I can’t get down with someone like that. I speak well of my friends and I expect them to speak well of me, even during my misfortune.
“I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.”- Benjamin Franklin
Which brings me to my final point. Have you ever met someone who says, “I can fit in with any crowd. I’m versatile. I’m liked by everyone.” And you see that this is true. At work they can hang with anyone reagardless of age or status. They can hang in the streets with the rough crowd. They can be the Pastor’s best friend at church and everyone genuinely loves them.
How many personalities do you have to have to fit in with EVERYONE? Is this person ever truly being themselves or are they changing their personality to reflect whoever is around them? What kind of a life is that?
As much as I cringe when I don’t fit in and as much as I’d like to find my place in this world, I’m content knowing that I am ME regardless of who is around and I don’t compromise my speech patterns, likes and dislikes to suit everyone else’s preferences.
I am grateful for my friends because I can’t offer anything but a warm conversation. And everyday, we seek each other out, just to brighten each other’s day.
“A friend to all is a friend to none.”- Aristotle