My life is a miracle.
I’m working wholeheartedly to maintain that belief.
My sons and I spent our New Years at Bayside watching the fireworks. It proved to be an adventure for them because we had to catch two different “trains” to get there and the boys were amazed by the sights we saw.
There were hundreds and hundreds of people out there, most of them of Hispanic decent and I marveled at how my city has changed over the course of my life. Even when the countdown began they announced it by saying, “Cinco minutos mas del nuevo ano!”
Espero que practicarmas en el nuevo ano pero soy contenta que hablo mucho espanol. Que bueno!
I woke up the next morning to tiny kisses being planted on my cheek and we went out to see Alvin & The Chipmunks before heading to IHOP for a quick bite to eat.
I prayed with them, thanking God for the chance to see my dream of being with them for New Years come true. I had been fantasizing about that since I was in Houston. I am so grateful.
I got to see Anna last night. She called me late in the evening and asked me to meet her at Flannigans in Miami-Lakes for dinner.
It was so good to see her but I felt like there was a disconnection, as though the people we were when we met more than 14 years ago had completely changed and drifted apart. I experienced the same feeling when I saw Tamara for Thanksgiving. We all chat easily on the phone and through email on a daily basis but somehow in person, it felt a little strange.
I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’m headed spiritually and of course I don’t want to define myself by anyone’s labels because that makes me feel authentic in my search for my own truth about my perception of life and its purpose. It also leaves me feeling rather lonely though but I know that my path is my own and even if I shared views that were identical to other people, we would still be walking a solo path to meet the Divine.
I’ve been thinking about my career path and the alternate avenues I am exploring. I don’t want to say that I am giving up on sustaining myself as a journalist but my heart feels like I am. I’m been hoping for my dream job as a magazine journalist or editor to manifest but since it hasn’t yet, I’m looking into other ways to give my gift of encouragement.
Kanye said it best in his song, ‘The Good Life’ when he said, “Giving up is way harder than trying.” If I leave my quest to become a superstar inspirational journalist then what do I do next?
I’ve experienced many wrong fits as far as employment goes but my heart says there is a right fit out there for me. It hurts my little heart to believe that I have a gift that is going unused but at the same time, I need stability in my life.
On the surface it seems as though 2007 was a waste professionally but in my quest to grow professionally, I received an extra bonus in my spiritual development. I did some really, really risky things and I was protected through it all. Thank God, I’m still alive and safe.
I’m trying to give as much as I can to my children in terms of life lessons as a result of my spiritual growth. I’m considering the fact that maybe..just maybe my life’s journey was meant to help shape who they are, maybe it was more for them than it was for me. I don’t know.
What I DO know is…I’ve got a long way to go from here. Or maybe not. My sister’s whole life changed with a simple phone call and she wasn’t even trying to change her life that dramatically, it just happened and now she experiences bliss on a regular basis.
Who knows what opportunities to learn and grow professionally are lurking behind the clouds in the coming days. What I realize from all of the past experiences of last year is that, my heart’s desire always comes to pass in unexpected ways.
I welcome the change. I welcome the growth. I welcome the divine guidance.
I welcome 2008 with open arms because I never know what this year will bring.