A Day Off With My Boys

I had the most beautiful day today.

I feel like I manifested it because yesterday all I kept thinking was, “I want to spend some time with my boys again.”

Later that evening I got an automated phone call from my son’s school telling me that Tuesday would be a teachers workday. I immediately picked up the phone to call my BBDD and tell him that I would keep the boys.

~shakes head~

He was resistant at first, telling me that the boys already had plans and he would see if he could cancel them. Plans with who? Ohhh..I get it. His fiance. Naww buddy.

When I called him back he answered his phone and hung up on me several times in a row. Thank goodness I called the house phone after that fiasco and my son answered it before he could tell them to ignore it. When my son picked up the phone I heard my BBDD say, “I didn’t tell you to answer the phone.”

“I’ll be there in an hour to pick them up,” I said and then hung up.

I picked them up and we came back to my place for some cuddle time before I made them go to bed. We were supposed to go see the sunrise but we didn’t wake up in time. Instead we visited a new water park even though it’s been raining all day.

We had a BLAST! I was right there with them every step of the way, sliding down slides, riding in the big yellow tubes and splashing around in the water.

After we went to the bookstore and they chose books and then we went to the grocery store and bought crab legs and came back to my place to eat, watch a movie and hang out.

There’s nothing like spending time with my sons. When I’m with them I feel whole, appreciated, loved, valued. My older son looks like me I think. My younger son has my emotional nature.

Out of all of the great things I have done in life, being with my sons makes me the most proud.

If you ain’t a Mama, you gotta do it. It’s an experience that will enhance your life!

Freud and Shit…

I’m really, really way behind on my reading for class and that’s because I don’t have one of the books and also because I’ve been focused too much on working and not paying attention in class, missing out on good shit.

It’s fascinating really, all the things that I’m learning about the great psychologists of all time. Learning about how they viewed human interaction and how they were shunned for their ideas when they first presented them. Freud’s books were even burned.

To sit down and read about why people interact with others in a certain way both pleases and astounds me. Did you know that some people will say that another person feels a certain way about them, but really it’s how that individual feels about the other person.

Like…Me coming up with all of those stories about how The Prez was feeling me. He wasn’t. It was all ME projecting my feelings onto him, convincing myself that he cared about me because I cared about him.

I almost fell on the floor when I sat back and examined other attitudes that I have. Like…I think all men are disgusted by me when they get to know me. Am I projecting my own feelings of disgust and self hatred onto men? Wow.

I don’t feel disgusted with myself though. I think I’m pretty great it’s just no man has noticed it yet.

Also, did you know that Freud thought people who are gifted creatively do so out of a need to express their aggression?

What about a reaction formation? It’s when a person has an undesireable impulse, an impulse to do something that society deems unacceptable so instead of acting on that impulse, they do the opposite. The book gives a shocking example: Kill them with kindness.

There’s this term called displacement that teaches us that when a person is hurt and needs to release their tension and they can’t release it on the person who caused the pain, they will find someone who is seemingly weaker to release their anger on.

Wowsa!

I don’t know man…studying has never been this much fun.

I Stink

Literally….

I haven’t had that odor thing from “downstairs” in quite a while so the other day when I smelled something a little seafood-ish I stopped and reasoned, “that must be the scent from the crab legs my boys and I ate. Maybe it got into my clothes because it was strong.”

I brushed it off all day wishing that time would pass and I could get home to take a shower. By the time I got home to take a shower, I took off my shirt, my bra, my socks, and then my jeans..

I was like.. ~sniff, sniff~

What is that?

Oh my gosh! That’s ME! I smell like crab legs!

I shook my head in shame thinking about all the people I had been close to today. ~sigh~

I swear. I just have a very strong SMELL down there. I promise I take care of myself. I don’t get it.

But you know… I’m thinking that, I usually smell that smell when I’m in a pressure situation like when I’m on a job interview or a group of people are questioning me or I’m around a guy I like and I’m really, really nervous. On that day I sensed my body overheating when I was talking to a classmate during our break. I was very upset as we discussed the situation.

It’s as though my cootchie overheats under pressure.

Anyway… Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be known as that really smart therapist/writer/coach lady who always smell like fish sticks.

Could anyone love the stinky girl?

Well, like Tamara says, “There’s somebody for everybody.”

Show 2- Daddy Dearest

I’ll be back in the studio tonight and I hope you will listen in.

Tonight’s show is about Daddy Dearest: How did your relationship with your father affect your life? I have several people calling in to answer the question as well as lots of interesting songs about fathers and a couple of my weird surprises.

You can leave me a comment (or an email) if you have a song you’d like for me to play, a dedication to your father or if you just wanna hear me say your name on the air.

~smile~

See you tonight- 10pm to midnight EASTERN.

After The Show

Oohhh….

I feel so much better now.

My show went okay tonight. It was the first time I was in the studio alone and had to operate the buttons and stuff by myself so at first everything sounded crazy but I eventually got it together.

I am so glad to have the friends that I have. I don’t have an audience yet so every single caller/guest so far has been a friend of mine and I really appreciate their support. No, for real, I really, REALLY appreciate everyone who tunes in to listen to me as I fumble and try to make this a show for real.

My boys are asleep right now and I’m feeling really nice thanks to this magic cup I’m sipping on. ~burp~ My boys were wildin out tonight at the studio, interrupting me while I’m speaking and even locking themselves out of the door causing the security guards to come to their rescue. ~smile~ Boys will be boys I guess.

I don’t know where this all will lead to but for some reason I feel like this is practice. Maybe when I get better at it, I’ll feel like it’s the real deal but for now..I’m just trying my best to learn this new medium and see where it takes me.

Any feedback is appreciated.

~hugs~

Ms. Tee

I’m So Grateful That I Can’t Be Humble

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Do good anyway…

“In the Final Analysis” by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered… forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives… be kind anyway

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies… succeed anyway

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you… be honest and frank anyway

What you may spend years building, someone may destroy overnight… build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous… be happy anyway

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow… do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough… give the world the best you have anyway

You see, in the final analysis, it’s all between you and God… it was never between you and them anyway…

My Roommate Is a Chef

Oh my gosh…

I think I’m gonna DIE. I mean, Everyday it’s the SAME THING. I’m in my room and all of a sudden this heavenly, spicy, smell wafts in through the door.

Damn…they cooked again.

I hear the plates clicking and them laughing around the dinner table. I know my roommate cooks everyday. She cleans all the time too. When I go into the main part of the house I think to myself, “I wanna live here.”

I think I want a wife or at least someone who cooks and cleans like my roommate does. She seems to get some kind of satisfaction out of a clean house. Who would have thunk it? I don’t wish I was like that but I do wish I had someone in my life who is like that and just LOVES to cook and clean and take good care of me.

~sigh~

I’ll probably have to hire someone.

Man, I wish I could eat with them. I don’t feel comfortable asking them. It’s crazy how I give so much but when I have a need, I don’t even feel right asking.

Let me make a pb&J and pretend it’s causing this wonderful scent that is invading my room.

I’m hungry.

Nebraska Widow Gives Away 9 Children Under Safe Haven Law

Did you hear about this?

There’s a safe haven law in Nebraska that allows any parent to drop off their child to a hospital or fire station with no repercussions. The crazy thing is, you can take any child up until the age of 18.

That’s right, a Nebraska widow took the state up on their offer and dropped 9 of his 10 kids off at a hospital. His wife had died 2 years earlier immediately after the birth of their 10th child.

You can read the full story here.

So here it is, a man who apparently was doing well for himself if he could take care of his wife and 10 kids. His wife dies and now the full responsibility of the children is on him so he says he couldn’t handle it.

I just hope he showed appreciation to his wife when she was alive because she handled it for more than 10 years. Who is really the backbone of the family?