My life is a miracle.
I see it transforming every day.
Well, I’m learning so many interesting, life altering things in my classes. I am amazed with each lesson. But of all the lessons that I am learning, my human sexuality class is challenging me the most.
I thought it would be fun to discuss sex and sexual habits because I considered myself to be pretty freaky. But I ain’t nowhere near as freaky as the people we have been studying and..a lot of these topics push me way out of my comfort zone. I had no idea that I had a space that was “outside of my comfort zone” when it came to sexual matters, but I do.
In two weeks, I have to turn in a report and do a presentation on Gender Identity Problems. This is where a person is one gender but feels like they should have been born another. ~shivers~
I don’t even know why but this makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like thinking about this.
And tonight…the lesson was about culture and homosexuality. We watched a video about two couples, one gay and one lesbian who are involved in healthy, long-term relationships. By the end of the video I was crying as the two men explained what their love was like. It was the most beautiful description that I have ever heard, and I have certainly never witnessed any heterosexual couple describe their love in this way.
When the lights were turned back on, I thought to myself, “Maybe homosexuality isn’t a problem. Two people who love each other this much shouldn’t be ostracized for their love.”
This is so wild to me because when I thought about homosexuality, I used to think completely about sex. It didn’t really occur to me that love, trust and dedication were involved in these relationships too.
If you remember, over the course of my writing on this blog, I would often question my sexuality, wondering if I was gay. Even my now defunct myspace page had under the heading orientation: Not sure.
I do find women to be sexy, beautiful people, but when it comes down to it, I’ve never met a woman who I wanted to be in a relationship with. I can appreciate their beauty and be sexually stimulated sometimes, without confusing it with being my bisexual or a lesbian.
After the video, everyone made their comments. Most were along the lines of, “Love is beautiful, no matter who you are with.”
We then discussed the theory that LOVE & MARRIAGE are socially constructed concepts. This made a few people raise their eyebrows.
One man spoke up and asked, “How can a man and another man, or a woman and another woman, really experience true love- The kind of love that God made us to experience?”
There was a collective gasp across the room and everyone pretty much ignored his comment, although I could tell people were offended by their murmurs.
A few more minutes into the discussion he spoke again, “But aren’t we forgetting about how God feels about homosexuality? What about what the Bible says? This society is becoming so permissive and encouraging people to just do whatever they want to do as long as it feels good.”
I lowered my gaze and shook my head. I remember when I used to think like that. I thought that my beliefs should be the standard for everyone. My truth was the truth and anyone who didn’t agree was wrong and doomed for damnation.
The rest of the class let him have it. I felt so sorry for him. He was only standing up for what he believed to be true but everyone in the room let him know, in no uncertain terms that if he was going to be a therapist, he needed to keep his personal beliefs to himself and not try to push clients in his religious direction.
“Truth is a socially constructed idea,” my professor stated. “Everything that we perceive to be a fact, is only a fact because socially, we have agreed to believe it. See this table. Well, it’s only a table because we all agree that when we see a structure that looks like this, we should use it in this way and call it a table.”
A classmate added to the discussion, “What if a client comes in because he’s depressed because his family won’t accept his homosexuality. If you counseled him and told him that he was wrong for who he was, he may just go outside and kill himself because the person he came to for help sided with the people he was ostracized by. You can’t do that to someone.”
The class ended after our professor shared a story about how one of her most challenging students changed her perception of sexuality. She said that while teaching this course she had a student who was androgynous. The student would argue everytime she brought up sexuality and gender roles. She said this student frustrated her and certainly made the semester tough for her and the rest of the class. But after it was done she realized that we are all PEOPLE first..that our gender is only a part of who we areand shouldn’t dictate how we behave and what is expected of us.
How many of us fall into the roles that society says we should have? If you’re a woman, you should learn to cook and clean and take care of children. If you’re a man you have to work and provide for the family.
What if the role assigned to you by society doesn’t fit your interests or abilities? I for one, CAN cook and clean but I’m not good at it or interested in it at all. Am I less of a woman or person because I’m not interested in those things?
I don’t know man…this class is really stretching me.