Left To Myself
Tonight I was doing what I love to do in the evenings, I was sitting outside on the stairs writing on my laptop when a man approached me with a smile. I smiled back because it was the right thing to do and then he stopped to chat. I chatted with him a little bit to be polite when I learned that he doesnt even live in this complex and I know that I had seen him walk by before.
During our talk he invited me back to his house for a glass of wine. I told him No and he said, “Aww, you don’t trust me.” I could feel my Mama begin to rise up in me cuz she would have said, “Get the f*** out of my face muthaf***er!”
But I didn’t want to let him know he made me uncomfortable so I just told him that I had more writing to do. He didn’t leave. He just kept asking me questions about what I was writing, blah blah blah.
I thought about going inside but I didn’t want him to see which apartment I lived in. I looked down at my phone…Damn… None of my friends had called me tonight. I was so busy working on my project that I hadn’t noticed.
And then it dawned on me…You have no one to call to check up on you.
Lord, I know I’m a dreamer. I know my imagination runs wild and gets all flowery and fantastical but, I’d like to have at least one unimagined friend who could come see me and wouldn’t mind sitting on the floor and watching TV with me on some evenings. I don’t know who to trust here but this encounter let me know that there are weirdos in Dallas too.
Please continue to protect me and…if this is the city for me, please send someone my way who would care if I was okay or not. I knew that Houston was not for me because I did not make a single friend while I was there although I tried to be open to it. Things look the same way here. Please tell me what to do.
I trust you. I know you will take care of me.
We chatted easily about our lives. It’s kinda weird to meet someone for the first time and they know so much about you. It turns out that Shawna is an attorney at one of the largest firms in this city.”I met The Prez before,” she told me between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes.”Really! Where?””It was at a luncheon or awards banquet. He was one of the speakers.””Oh my gosh! So you heard him SPEAK!”She laughed, “Uh..Yeah.””Did your heart beat fast too?” I asked eagerly.”Uhh..No. He ain’t all that,” she said with a laugh.I laughed loudly, managing to drown out the man playing the saxophone. He was so good that I refused to believe that he was actually playing that thing but it turns out that he was!”Well, it’s funny how we like what we like. None of my friends would think he’s attractive but they do admit that he is exactly what I like. Which is good cuz we all like different types of men so we will never fight over them.”She told me about her daughters and her husband and how she developed “an edge”. She seemed so sweet and innocent that I just laughed at her. “There’s this club about two doors down from here and let me tell you, those people are WILD.””What you mean?””I went there once with my Mom and they don’t have a liquor license so you have to bring your own bottle.””WHAT?!””Yeah….So when the waitresses comes by to take your order you say, ‘I’d like some coke and ice please.'”I cracked up.”And when the DJ announces that it’s time for the ‘hens’ to come up, all of these women come up on the stage and they dance so nasty! And there’s a video camera on them zooming in and out.”I was rolling!”I love Dallas,” I admitted.”I love it here too.””There’s a feeling that I get when I’m here. It reminds me of how I feel when I am in Miami.”Shawna was so funny! She is a certified blog connoisseur. She says she reads blogs everyday like most people read the news. She has watched as so many bloggers turn their blogs into businesses and she shared some of the methods that she has seen. I sat there taking notes on my phone as she spoke and I shared my vision for my website with her.Because I was able to work at THE WEBSITE, I learned a lot about marketing sponsorships and how to present a content package for potential advertisers. This was the final piece of the puzzle for me because I already knew how to manage content, source writers, edit and present the articles in interesting ways,Now I just need the readership to grow myself.”That’s important!” Shawna agreed. Look at Dooce!”