Left To Myself

Tonight I was doing what I love to do in the evenings, I was sitting outside on the stairs writing on my laptop when a man approached me with a smile. I smiled back because it was the right thing to do and then he stopped to chat. I chatted with him a little bit to be polite when I learned that he doesnt even live in this complex and I know that I had seen him walk by before.

During our talk he invited me back to his house for a glass of wine. I told him No and he said, “Aww, you don’t trust me.” I could feel my Mama begin to rise up in me cuz she would have said, “Get the f*** out of my face muthaf***er!”

But I didn’t want to let him know he made me uncomfortable so I just told him that I had more writing to do. He didn’t leave. He just kept asking me questions about what I was writing, blah blah blah.

I thought about going inside but I didn’t want him to see which apartment I lived in. I looked down at my phone…Damn… None of my friends had called me tonight. I was so busy working on my project that I hadn’t noticed.

And then it dawned on me…You have no one to call to check up on you.

Lord, I know I’m a dreamer. I know my imagination runs wild and gets all flowery and fantastical but, I’d like to have at least one unimagined friend who could come see me and wouldn’t mind sitting on the floor and watching TV with me on some evenings. I don’t know who to trust here but this encounter let me know that there are weirdos in Dallas too.

Please continue to protect me and…if this is the city for me, please send someone my way who would care if I was okay or not. I knew that Houston was not for me because I did not make a single friend while I was there although I tried to be open to it. Things look the same way here. Please tell me what to do.

I trust you. I know you will take care of me.