Share My World

Nothing Is Too Wonderful To Happen

After everyone left this morning I laid down again to get some rest. I put my phone on silent and I slept like I had just finished a marathon.

I felt so much better when I woke up.

Everyday is a new day to forgive, be healed and imagine more for the future.

I texted Anna and we messaged back and forth for a little while before she called my phone. She’s also in transition, trying to figure out her next step. She thought she wanted to be in the classroom teaching but her current position has her in the computer lab and the library as the media instructor. Guess what? She loves it!

“I have so much more flexibility than I had when I was in the classroom!” she squealed. “I’m thinking about getting my masters but I’m also thinking about going to massage therapy school.” She laughed, “I dont know girl. All I know is I’m grateful that I made a move to Orlando. I don’t think I would have been getting married if I was still in Miami.”

We talked a little more about life taking its appropriate path and being willing to follow its lead. “I don’t have hopes of being rich like you, Tee. I know I’m going to be straight though. I just don’t know how it will happen.”

I sat in silence for a second.

“Anna, I don’t hope for wealth,” I explained. “Wealth is a given. Wealth will be a by-product of me being able to give my gift.”

“But that’s not how we see it when we read your blog,” she said. “You talk about having nice houses and servants and how you’re going to bless all of our kids with scholarships for college. You make it seem like you want to be rich and famous.”

“Not really. I EXPECT to be rich and famous,” I said with a laugh. “So that’s not the part I focus on. What I really want is to be able to do what God has gifted me to do. So far, I haven’t had the chance. I’m focused on the opportunity. I’m a writer and a speaker and a teacher. When I am positioned to do what I am gifted to do THEN I will achieve the success that I imagine. All that wealth and nice things will come along with it so yeah…I expect that too.”

Nothing is too good to be true.

Nothing is too wonderful to happen.

Nothing is too good to last.

I live life believing wholeheartedly in these statements and everyday my vision for my life becomes even more grand.

For real ya’ll!

~sigh~

9 MORE DAYS UNTIL I SEE MY SONS AGAIN!

I can’t stop smiling!

Dear Readers…

You’ve followed me from the day I graduated college throughout many mishaps at jobs, as I learned to love and appreciate myself and as I challenged myself to be a better person everyday. Some may equate my expectation of wealth as a DESIRE for wealth but that is quite contradictory.

When you desire something, you long for it. You imagine yourself with it and you focus your thoughts on receiving that thing, hoping for it to happen, but not necessarily believing that it will. I have no desire for wealth. I EXPECT IT! I have no doubt that it will come. I don’t have to fantasize about it, although it is a lot of fun to do during these meager beginnings. The fantasies sometimes keep me focused.

My gifts of teaching and giving as I gain wisdom in business and personal development will most definitely be rewarded by personal satisfaction and wealth. Yeah…I said it. I will use my wealth and knowledge to empower others to succeed. My greatest desire is for my family to be well taken care of. I don’t want my parents to have to work. I don’t want my children or the children of my friends to be sidetracked (like I was) by the strain of paying bills and never have the opportunity to do what God has called them to do. I will finance the revolution!

I sometimes wonder if I had no financial constraints what I could have accomplished by now but I shake those thoughts of the past away after I realized that I am the gateway to a brighter future for millions of people.

I will be a blessing to this world.

THAT is what I desire. I will be a conduit for change and a call to righteousness as I seek my own.

One of the things that makes me most happy is giving and that is why I will be a great teacher. Great teachers like my friend Anna Cocina give so much more than a curriculum requires. I plan to gain the knowledge required to teach successful living which is more than just about gaining wealth. It’s about obtaining peace in your heart through a relationship with Christ and recognizing those flaws and destructive thought patterns and habits and moving them out of your life!

If you ever learn anything from my blog I hope that you would learn that God is real, He loves you and just as He has given me a chance to fulfill my true destiny, He will do the same for you.

As Easter Weekend approaches I hear all kinds of messages about repentance on the radio. To repent simply means to recognize that you were wrong, apologize and make a concerted effort to not do the thing you apologized for. Please don’t think, “I’ve got to change everything about me in one day.” God doesn’t require that. God works in you and WITH you. He wants to be your friend. He wants to be your parent. He wants to rejoice with you as you learn and grow just the same way you want to be there for your children.

I’m just a simple woman with grand dreams and abundant faith. If my expectation of wealth and fortune is distasteful to you or makes you question my character then maybe I’m not the blogger that you should be reading.

If you have ever wanted more from life than satisfactory living and want to be the greatest YOU, I hope to inspire the action required to achieve that. Just because becoming my greatest ME will include fabulosity and splendor doesn’t mean that you have to hope for the same things. You should define your own “happiness” and seek it with everything in you!

Don’t settle because you don’t believe you deserve something better or you look to your friends and they seem happy with what they have so you tell yourself that you should be happy too. Living your greatest life is a very personal journey. Where mine begins and ends is all in my imagination, as it is with YOU!

I will never apologize for who I am and what I desire. I will only continue to look forward to living the greatest life I can live because I EXPECT every wild, seemingly impossible fantasy to come true. Why wait for heaven to live abundantly? I expect to experience a little of heaven on earth.

And I WILL!

Don’t believe me?

Keep reading…

Waiting

I don’t know man…

I’m still here.

My phone died last night and I rejoiced because I know that I can not lose anything unless God wants to replace it with something better.

So I used my “Miami” money to buy myself a new phone and I believe wholeheartedly that God will replace the money.

I’m still here.

Still in Dallas. Checking things out. I’m relaxing and waiting. I’m full of expectancy that this city will be different from the others. Whatever lessons God brought me here to learn will follow me through the rest of my life.

I miss my friends.

Kim made it to Chicago. At last her dream of being back in that city has come true and I am sincerely happy for her. She was greeted by one of her good friends and shown to her beautiful room that she keeps bragging about.

Everyone is excited to have her back. See, Kim easily gains admirers wherever she goes. All of her old friends have embraced her and are celebrating her return by taking her out and catering to her. She is surrounded by love.

~sigh~

I will be too. One day.

But for now I sit here talking to God and fantasizing about my future.

I’ve come to a few real conclusions I’m going through all of this alone time.

I love God so much. It is only because of my relationship with Him that I have learned how to truly love others.

I’ve also learned that it is okay to go without secks. I’m not as tense as I was in Houston and I figure if I’ve come this far I may as well go all the way. I’m not pledging abstinence or anything like that I just…want to try things differently. I don’t want to use men for secks anymore. You see where that got me in my past.

I’ll see where my heart is when I go back to Miami. There’s always my old faithful boy toy Dude or my old knock-em out booty call if I really wanna twirk something.

But I don’t.

I just want to do this faith walk right. I want to honor God by showing through my actions that I believe He has someone special picked out for me. I’m gonna wait on him. Whoever he is. I feel crazy writing this because I think I’ve thought about it before but I’ve never really acted on it.

Wait on God to show me who my husband is before I even think about sleeping with someone again? ~sigh~

Ms. Tee done bumped her head!

But that’s a good thing.

Now that I’m in tune with God I know I will be able to tell. Everytime I step outside of His will, I am heartbroken and I don’t want to end up there again.

I miss my friends. I miss having people around I can trust.

I’m not sad at all. I can’t be sad. I have too many friends who call me to check up on me to really feel alone but…it sure would be nice to have a hug.

I’m not stressed about it or anything I just…I don’t know. While this may seem exciting on the surface it’s not as glorious as it may look. I just…wish I had some friends.

Or something familiar.

Or someone.

I’m glad I’m here. I am.

Things are going to work out for me.

Yes they will.

I’m okay.

Just sitting here. Waiting for something to happen.

Or maybe..waiting to go to sleep. Whichever comes first.

On The Menu

I woke up this morning hungry as hell so I took a shower and snuck out of the house to go to the grocery store.

I realize that I have to shop differently since I’m doing all of this moving around. I can’t buy perishable food because you never know when you’ll have to pick up and go. I’ve left so much food behind (wasting money) that I have to make some adjustments.

As I shopped in the grocery store called Kroger I smiled when I realized…my new phone has a CAMERA on it!

~Shake that thang!~

I’m going to be able to add pictures to my blog now!

So first things first I will show you what I bought and give tips on living life like a nomad while you pursue your destiny!

My grocery list

1. Microwavable lasagna/ravioli/beefaroni– Get a few cans of this non perishable item. If you are sleeping in your car and don’t have access to a microwave, just put on a little make up and walk over to Mc Donalds or some fast food place and smile. They’ll let you use their microwave for free.

2. Gatorade– It’s the drink of CHAMPIONS. It’s my version of soda since I don’t drink soda unless I’m trying to stay awake. It has electrolites…ahh..forget it. I just like Gatorade so that’s why I bought it. I don’t like Gatorade unless it’s room temperature so this item is a good pick for car travel.

3. Peanut butter & jelly– You can have lunch or dinner..damn sometimes I eat this for breakfast too. It’s healthy and it fills you up if you wash it down with a bottle of Gatorade.

4. Bread– A loaf of bread lasts less than a week for me. I tend to eat in trends. All day I’ll eat sandwhiches and the next day I will only eat ravioli.

5. Paper towels– If you are living house to house its a good idea to carry a pack of paper towels for the side of the road peeing satisfaction. I usually do my peeing behind trees in the park.

6. Pineapple chunks– I LOVE PINEAPPLE chunks! Remember to get the ones with the pull back top or else you’ll be stuck once you realize you don’t have a can opener.

7. Spoons– Forks you can do without. Knives you can do without, but you will always need a SPOON. A SPORK would be better but when it doubt, grab the spoons. They work as knives when you use them right.

8. Applesauce– You have to have some desert. No reason to deny yourself simple pleasures because you are in transition. A PB&J sandwhich, a bottle of Gatorade and a snack pack of applesauce is what I call a full course meal these days.

9. Capri Sun– It’s the kid in me. I can’t help it. They fit easily into my car too.

10. Pancake mix– Okay. Everyone who has ever been on a budget knows, when ain’t nothing left in the house- MAKE SOME PANCAKES! You can carry this box with you wherever you go and if you’re lucky enough to find a hostel or a cheap hotel with a kitchen you just have to whip out your syrup and oil and it’s a 5 minute meal.

11. Nutri Grain Bars– A nice breakfast treat.

12. Water- You HAVE to have water to drink or wash your hands with when you can’t find a bathroom.

All non perishable items that you cankeep in your car so if you ever have to pick up and GO, you can go!

This morning for breakfast I had a lasagna cup and some Gatorade. Now I’m tired because I’m full. I may go and take a nap.

Later!

Connected Again

Ahhh…

What a weekend. I’ve moved twice since I’ve been here and I’ve only slept in my car once. The crazy thing about this weekend was the fact that I had NO INTERNET ACCESS. I thought I was going to DIE until I realized that I can access yahoo messenger on my phone so I was able to get an internet fix that way.

I’m still counting down the days until I see my sons and I’m walking on FAITH that I will be able to do all of the things that I imagine that we will do.

You won’t believe what happened!

The day after my phone died and I had to replace it, my laptop died too! I was about to die. ~dead~

I took it to two places to see if it was repairable and both places said the same thing; “I can remove the hard drive so you won’t lose your important documents but there’s no way to repair this.”

I walked sadly to my car and I cried. No lap top?

Who am I without my lap top?

What is a writer without a pen?

What is a photographer without a camera?

What is a ballerina without her ballet slippers?

I felt a sense of urgency to go to Circuit City and…withholding the miraculous details; I WALKED OUT OF THERE WITH A NEW LAP TOP and I didn’t put it on credit.

Yeah…He is faithful to supply all of our needs as long as we recognize that our supply comes from HIM. I am diligent in blessing others and through my joyful giving I have seen miraculous returns.

I’m on a faith walk. I’m believing that I can do this even though there’s no visible evidence or means to support myself. I’m not afraid. I know that no danger will come to me and I will be better than okay.

My Mama told me that she prays for me every night.

“You do?” I asked her, obviously surprised.

“Sholl do,” she said softly. “I say ‘Lord please protect my dumb ass daughter while she out there living dangerously!”

You gotta love her!

Oh my gosh! You won’t believe this! Guess what happened on Saturday morning?

It SNOWED here in Dallas.

Ok, so maybe they were snow flurries but on the real- I have NEVER seen snow or snow flurries before. I went outside and I couldn’t believe it. I put my hand out to catch some but I guess the warmth of my hand melted each flake.

Remember elementary school art class when they taught everyone how to make snowflakes and they gave us white paper and scissors and showed us how to cut squiggly lines in them to make ours unique? They told us no two snowflakes are alike, just like no two people are exactly alike.

“Even TWINS?” I remember asking my art teacher.

“Even twins,” she answered and shook her head at me. “Twins can be very different.”

Guess what else I did this weekend?

I hung out with Mac from Mac’s Vibes. He hit me up on messenger and reminded me that he lives in Dallas now. Then he took me to the North Park Mall to see a movie.

We watched Blades of Glory and it was so funny! I felt like a real person for the first time in a long time. Eating meals and being by myself all the time makes me feel invisible.

And Mac was kinda cute too. I had to step back and check him out since you know it’s been a long time since I’ve touched a man.

He looked startled when my hand gripped his back pocket. “You have a nice ass Mac,” I told him.

“Hmm..Why don’t you walk in front of me from now on,” he suggested.

Rrrrrrrrrrrahhhhhhhhhhh!! I’m a TIGER!

Since the next day was Easter and he knew I didn’t have any family here he invited me to have dinner with a group of his co-workers and I was very grateful. I went and had a great time! All the guys there were funny! I even met one woman who was new to Dallas as well and she asked if we could keep in touch because I reminded her of her bestfriend.

The food was prepared by one of Mac’s co-workers and it was so good I had to get a plate and take it home. Mac made some kind of chocolate wonder cake and I may just have to turn on the charm to get him to bake another one for me because I had 3 pieces while I was there and took another big slice to-go!

The BEST part was…None of the men hit on me! I was a little tense at first because you know how desperate some men are, they don’t want to befriend you they just want to tap that ass. But these men were just friendly and funny! I wouldn’t mind hanging with them again.

All of my readers in the area are being so wonderful to me. They’ve sent tips and well wishes and welcome notes that read WELCOME TO DALLAS Ms. Tee!

I’m still believing God for a stable place to live and I’m believing that I will have it just as soon as I get back from Miami.

And I got a call from the job I interviewed with.

Tee, this is KC from XYZ. Are you okay? I’ve been trying to call you all day. Please give me a call when you get this.

But I couldn’t call because the reception was horrible where I was so I replied to her text with:

I’m well. The reception is bad here. You can always email me if you can’t get through. My phone died last night and I had to replace it today so maybe that was why I couldn’t get your call.

Oh that’s okay. I left you a voice message earlier and now I’m off to hang with my little ones. We’ll talk next week. Have a great weekend!

Ofcourse when I check my voice mail, there’s no message.

I guess the karma is coming back to me since I like to leave you guys with cliff hangers..~smile~

I hope to hear from her today.

Ofcourse I’ll let you know what happens. In the meantime, my eyes are open wide for the next miracle. I believe God wants to show up and show out in my life and YOURS! Please keep sending me those testimonies, they light up my day!

PS- The requested Donate button has been added to the sidebar for those who wish to SHARE MY DREAM and invest in me, THANKS!

Searching For Home

Well…

I got my job offer today.

I’m going to be the new Internet Marketing Manager for a certain website that is quite well known. The position seems to be a perfect fit for the combination of my passions. I love the internet. I love websites. I love writing. I love being creative. I get to develop marketing materials and write stories and learn how to promote and manage a website that has over half a million registered users.

We’re gonna kick Black.Voice’s ASS! Remember how that dude wouldn’t give me a chance to write for them talking about, “We don’t entertain unknown writers.”

humph! I was like, “Do you know who I AM?”

Ok, lemme calm down.

I’m kinda excited but not really because…I moved here with the peace that I was going to be offered this job. It’s not like the offer was a surprise… LOL!

But also…the wear and tear of constantly starting over is getting to me.

You know I’m grateful for the opportunity to travel and grow I just..I’d like to have a home again. I mean…I’d like to have some consistency. I’d like to thrive and show what I can do at a company that appreciates and values my talent. I hope this is it!

And…I don’t want to date anyone unless he’s the one for me but…I’d like to make friends.

I want an address. My own address.

I want to walk to the mailbox and get mail for me.

God, if this is the city for me, please let me make some friends. If this is the city for me, please let this new work environment be supportive and embracing. If this is the city for me, please let me meet a nice man who won’t be afraid of the promise of God over my life and who will see how my vision can enhance his life and love me more because of my ambition.

And…if this isn’t the city for me, at least send good people in my path so that I can bless them with my friendship. And allow me more trips home to see my boys so I won’t continue to feel lonely all the time.

Please take care of my boys and help them to understand why Mommy is away. She’s building her dream and setting the stage for them to accomplish theirs.

Thanks for bringing me this far. I won’t doubt you. You’ve done it before and I know you can do it AGAIN! You are a miracle worker! I will trust that you will take me the rest of the way until I reach…HOME.

Let’s Get to Know Each Other

I am trying to use my spare time to devise a plan so that we can become better acquainted with each other. You know so much about me but I want to know more about you although I can’t find the time to read blogs everyday.

~rubbing hands together in delight~

I HAVE AN IDEA!

While I craft my idea I will ask that if anyone is not on my blog roll and wants to be, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email and I will add you. I want you all to meet each other because I believe if you feel connected to me in any way, then you will probably connect well with each other, am I right?

We’ll see.

Send me your links, please!

Nappy Headed Ho’s

I don’t have access to television where I am right now so I have only been hearing people talk about the “nappy headed ho’s” comment made by a radio host named Imus.

So I went to old trusty youtube to see if anyone had posted the video and YAY they had!

Watch it here!

In fact, the CNN Contributor Roland.Martin is the man I interviewed when I was in Houston who had just signed a big time contract with CNN.

Beware…the journalist who is presenting the story is so damn fine he will distract you from listening to the matter at hand. Damn…he’s fine as hell…I think he’s my husband!

But…Focus and watch as Roland.Martin eloquently explains the background behind the hoopla surrounding this incident.

I’m offended by the comment, but I don’t really care what he thinks so it won’t occupy too much of my time.

It all goes back to the law of reciprocity. What you give, you will receive. He criticized people heavily and now he is being criticized. Sounds fair to me…

3-0-5 Taking It to the House!

Relaxation

Inspiration

Affection

Love

Laughter

Hugs

Motivation

Replenishment

Smiles

Fun

Joy

Peace

Reunion

Adventure

Blessings

I’m headed to Miami for the weekend to see my sons!

When I get back to Dallas I start my new job… It’s the perfect way to re energize before the next leg of my journey!

I bless every eye that reads this. Go out and replenish yourself this weekend.

I’m GOING TO SEE MY SONS!!!

I’m so happy!

Being Back At Home

My sons are right next to me on the floor playing with their Transformers.

We’ve had a magical weekend, fulfilling almost every one of my fantasies. My sons are gaining weight, learning a lot and so mannerable! They look so good! Everywhere we go people are delighted to hear them speak to each other. I feel so proud as we walk hand in hand through the streets.

I’ve seen most of my friends and had a chance to hang out with my little sister Teenie. I gave everyone extra long hugs. They all laughed at me but they don’t understand.

No matter what city I have traveled to…none compare to Miami.

Miami is home.

I don’t want to go back to Dallas.

To living in the streets.

To being by myself all the time.

To crying at night because I feel invisible.

My friend Kim reminds me that I can’t abort the dream.

The dream.

The dream.

This hurts too much. Tomorrow I have to say goodbye again and go back to…

Back to….

Another beginning.

Damn.