Being Back At Home

My sons are right next to me on the floor playing with their Transformers.

We’ve had a magical weekend, fulfilling almost every one of my fantasies. My sons are gaining weight, learning a lot and so mannerable! They look so good! Everywhere we go people are delighted to hear them speak to each other. I feel so proud as we walk hand in hand through the streets.

I’ve seen most of my friends and had a chance to hang out with my little sister Teenie. I gave everyone extra long hugs. They all laughed at me but they don’t understand.

No matter what city I have traveled to…none compare to Miami.

Miami is home.

I don’t want to go back to Dallas.

To living in the streets.

To being by myself all the time.

To crying at night because I feel invisible.

My friend Kim reminds me that I can’t abort the dream.

The dream.

The dream.

This hurts too much. Tomorrow I have to say goodbye again and go back to…

Back to….

Another beginning.

Damn.