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Video Porn & No Pressure Sales

I’ve never made a porn, intentionally…

Oh wait! Let me stop lieing, I did make one intentionally and I really enjoyed the experience. He didn’t keep it, I did. In fact, I recorded over a few years back.

Which makes me wonder why I dislike video porn so much. I mean, If you’re into it, I don’t knock it and I won’t run out of the room if you put one on but it’s probably gonna be my last choice to watch. Hmm..Unless it’s with 2 girls then I get aroused by watching that.

But…porn does absolutely nothing for me. In fact I’m kinda like, “Yuck!”

But do you know what type of porn I like best?

Erotic stories.

I’m not talking about Zane or whoever else is out there writing stories these days. I’m talking about straight up porn stories. I don’t know why–I just get so much more aroused when I have to imagine it for myself versus seeing some dimpled booty and hair bump filled crotch on my screen.

Yeah…all of this was sparked after my friend sent me a clip of porn online and I was trying to explain to him why I don’t like video porn.

Anyway, had an okay day at work. Sold a couple of tours, but I didn’t get any families to say Yes to the presentation.

I may not be a salesman. If someone says No, I leave them alone immediately. I’ve noticed that most of my co workers kind of harrass people or take control of the conversation until they say yes.

Some of them even beg.

I don’t know how to act like that. I don’t beg for anything. I tried it, just to see if it would work. but whining, ‘Why not? Come on…Please..’ made me feel like an idiot. I’m not doing that anymore.

All I can do is try my best.

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Promise to Share My Blessings

I just sat up here and got frustrated and almost teary eyed because there’s a girl I want to bless because she’s pregnant and in need of clothes and I know I can’t do a lot for her.

I really want to bless her. She stands on her feet all day everyday working with me and I just want her to rest.

I’m sitting up here and I’m supposed to be writing my paper but I’m thinking about her and when or if I’ll be able to bless her. I need to bless her.

I need to.

That’s how my heart feels. But my heart feels like that everyday with everyone that I meet. If they even mention a need, I want to try to help them take care of it. I feel like that is what I am supposed to do.

In my heart, I am burdened when I can not help or help make a connection with someone who can. I know I’m not God but I want to wave a magic wand over them and fix every situation and give them what they need. Since I can’t, I just try to teach them about affirmations and affirm them and plant the seed for a vision that will delight them and hopefully help it grow.

I just want to spread love all over the place.

I feel bad because I can’t do as much as I really want to. Man, when I make my billions and break the generational curse of poverty over my life there are going to be a lot of happy people in this world.

You can trust me with it God. I promise to be a blessing.

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You Can Listen Too

Today i feel all ughh because I had on my ‘work’ tennis shoes, a regular pair of jeans and an old college polo shirt. I know I put that on because it was raining all day but damn…that’s not my summer gear. This must be fall for real!

But anyway, why do I even care what anyone thinks of how I look? Why am I even worried about it when I never worried before?

It’s..It’s…

It’s this radio show. I mean, I can blog all day here with my picture on it and no one really knows I do this on the street. I’m kind of anonymous.

But when I do this show my REAL NAME and my REAL voice will be out there. I’m shaking.

I can just hear it now….

I know that girl! Boy I *&&#^ her back in the day!

Ohhh…her? LOL She’s the best!

That bitch crazy!

My goodness, I don’t know if I’m ready to be scrutinized like that. My past is my past and I come in peace dude. LOL! Man…I like being anonymous.

Wow.

But to the point. My focus is to promote my message of healing through my books and if this show can be a conduit, I’ll use it. I’ve got my weekly schedule and I’m searching for guests. All I need to do is learn how to make a playlist on some sort of gadget, the ipod or the mp3 I think they call it. I have to learn to use that to make my life easier.

Oh my gosh, I’m a DJ with no music. ~shakes head~ I hope the computer has songs I like.

`sigh~

I don’t know if I’m ready for this but I won’t know unless i jump.

Listen in and please CALL on Friday night between 10 to midnight eastern.

For my first show we’ll be discussing Computer Love: How the internet affects romantic relationships

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My First Radio Show- Computer Love


~smile~

I had so much fun last night.

The boys and I ate chinese for dinner as we hung out at my Mama’s house before heading to the studio. They were superkrunk and I was…well…I guess I was still in disbelief.

I had spent the previous night up writing out a sample script for my show. I had a vision in my head of how I wanted things to run and what I wanted the guests to say and I wrote it all down in order with two songs playing in beneath segments.

I added the guest’s names and phone numbers as well.

I got the music off limewire and placed an icon for it on my desktop. Then I picked up my boys and we went to my Mama’s house to practice before the show. I got a call from the guy who was supposed to get me started at the studio and I packed up the boys to go meet him.

We printed out the scripts and then went to the studio. I Introduced my boys to the guy, umm…..Trainer, and he reviewed the different switches and buttons and how to take phone calls.

My boys were out in the hallway watching the guys play music in the other studio.

I almost fell out when one of my classmates walked into my studio. I introduced her to my boys and she walked over to me.

Get this…after making an announcement in one of my classes about my new show, this woman came up to me and said that she wanted to be my researcher for the show. I told her, “HEY! GREAT!”

In class this week she asked me the topic and I explained it to her and she said she’d contact me this week.

So she walked into the studio and I smiled and greeted her. I showed her the sample script that I had written and as she read through she said, “You have pretty much everything covered. Would you need me to make phone calls for you?”

“Yes, please,” I replied and handed her a script. For some reason I had printed two, not even knowing why I did that. “Every guest has a phone number next to it. Call them and introduce yourself and let them know which time frame they should be expected to call in.”

She went down the hall to make phone calls.

I was like…dang. It’s nice having an assistant. She was great!

And then….at two minutes to 10, I sat down, my boys sat down in front of my booth and it all began…

It was like…magic.

The guys behind Verysmartbrothas.com were on the show.

Nika Williams was on the show.
I interviewed a couple who met in an aol chat room six years ago.

I interviewed a man who met his wife online and afterwards they both deleted all of their online profiles to keep their relationship solid.

I interviewed a woman who met her husband online and blogged about the entire experience of meeting, dating and getting married.

I had an email question come in about a guy who was caught cyber cheating by his girlfriend but even when he confessed, she still didn’t break up with him and he was nervous about that.

We listened to TI’s Whatever You Like and I called up Tamara and we discussed why we liked the song.
I even had the privelege of playing my Baby Kanye’s Love Lockdown. (I love him.)

And then…

DJ DIVA donated one of her mixes to the show so I was able to play a special mix once I ran out of content.

My friend Rayy called in and really hit the spot when he answered the email question. I couldn’t even argue with him on his opinion because I agreed. If a woman finds out her man is cheating and she doesn’t leave him, it’s probably because she has cheated too.

All in all, I laughed, I messed up, I sang, I called my friends and I just hung out….

This feels so good to me. It feels so natural and so right.

It is so fulfilling to me.

I took an hour and a half and I made it mine and I was completely myself the whole time and even if no one tuned in, my friends did and we had a great time.

I am so grateful for the experience.

I believe God must love me so much. I feel so favored.
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Kanye Wrote a Book- I’m buying it!

Oh… I guessed I missed this announcement. Seems like Kanye wrote a book called Thank You and You’re Welcome. From the reviews I found it’s a pretty good book AND it’s an advice book teaching people how to live better lives.

Is he copying me or is it a divine match?

I’m feeling proud yet jealous.

I’m right behind you Kanye. Let’s see who can make the NY Times Bestsellers list first!

~smile~

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My Life Is Blessed Today

After reading about Kanye’s book I was so jealous.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m so competitive.

I used to feel like that about The Prez, well, I guess I still do. Whenever I read his name in the news, I think to myself, “That’s okay. I can do better than that.”

Isn’t that a weird observation? The men I’m attracted to/infatuated with, in my eyes, are my competition. And I don’t even think I’m competitive. I always get what I want so I don’t feel like I have to fight for it. I just feel like I have to show up and be myself and it will be handed to me.

I’m the only Ms. Tee around. No one can do what I do better than me. I have zero competition for what I love to do. I look around and I see none. No one can bring it with my style. I’m on a cloud all by myself.

So why is it that the men I admire who are accomplishing great things, well, I feel like I have to beat?

Maybe it’s because I want to keep growing, changing and improving professionally and spiritually for the rest of my life and I need someone by my side who is trying to consistently doing the same.

Progress is sexy to me.

Taking risks is sexy to me.

Knowing that you are not supposed to remain an employee for the rest of your life is damn sexy to me.

I don’t know about you but I’ve been feeling great about my life lately. I think it comes from knowing that even though things are not as you feel they should be, you are always still okay. You’re doing just fine. No one is rushing you toward your goal but you. Enjoy the journey, the nooks and crannies and know that each experience is teaching you something that you will need to truly enjoy, expand and maintain that blessing that you are waiting for.

Even when I get a little nervous because I don’t know what’s about to happen, I smile nervously and remind myself that every single month something BIG happens to me. EVERY SINGLE MONTH, my life changes in a big way.

It never fails.

Wow.

It’s almost October 1st. I wonder what great and amazing things lie ahead…

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A Day Off With My Boys

I had the most beautiful day today.

I feel like I manifested it because yesterday all I kept thinking was, “I want to spend some time with my boys again.”

Later that evening I got an automated phone call from my son’s school telling me that Tuesday would be a teachers workday. I immediately picked up the phone to call my BBDD and tell him that I would keep the boys.

~shakes head~

He was resistant at first, telling me that the boys already had plans and he would see if he could cancel them. Plans with who? Ohhh..I get it. His fiance. Naww buddy.

When I called him back he answered his phone and hung up on me several times in a row. Thank goodness I called the house phone after that fiasco and my son answered it before he could tell them to ignore it. When my son picked up the phone I heard my BBDD say, “I didn’t tell you to answer the phone.”

“I’ll be there in an hour to pick them up,” I said and then hung up.

I picked them up and we came back to my place for some cuddle time before I made them go to bed. We were supposed to go see the sunrise but we didn’t wake up in time. Instead we visited a new water park even though it’s been raining all day.

We had a BLAST! I was right there with them every step of the way, sliding down slides, riding in the big yellow tubes and splashing around in the water.

After we went to the bookstore and they chose books and then we went to the grocery store and bought crab legs and came back to my place to eat, watch a movie and hang out.

There’s nothing like spending time with my sons. When I’m with them I feel whole, appreciated, loved, valued. My older son looks like me I think. My younger son has my emotional nature.

Out of all of the great things I have done in life, being with my sons makes me the most proud.

If you ain’t a Mama, you gotta do it. It’s an experience that will enhance your life!