I just came back from my date with the couple. We met downtown for lunch and a few drinks. I have to say that it was an amazing experience, a meeting of the souls for 3 people who share similar attitudes about life.
For some reason, I wasn’t uncomfortable at all. All I felt was eager anticipation and then my expectations were exceeded. We chatted easily over drinks, I mean we really couldn’t stop sharing our hearts and for once I felt like I was being understood. As far as physical attraction goes, they were a very beautiful couple. She looks almost angelic, the type of young lady you would want to have children with because you’d want to make sure that beauty remains on the earth and he was so different from any man I’ve ever met.
Yes, I’ve met soft men who were sensitive but not in the way he was, he was more in love with life than anything else and he told story after story about his life, his passions and his passion for making his life the best ever. I felt so at ease with them. ~exhale~
The whole time I kept comparing the feeling to how I feel when I’m with the Older Man. I think he likes to make me angry because he likes to see me upset and maybe he’s turned on when I curse him out but honestly, I don’t like feeling like that. I don’t like having to curse someone out. I don’t like being upset and asking to be cared for. I don’t like not feeling valued and important.
That’s how I know we’re on two different pages. He doesn’t really like me, or maybe he does, but his way of showing it isn’t what I need. I want to live a life of peace and blissful celebration. I don’t think he can give that to me. I don’t think he wants to.
After we spent 2 hours in the restaurant, we went over to a Kava bar and had shots of Kava, which was nasty as hell but it did relax my body like it’s supposed to. The beautiful part about that experience was the way the bar was decorated. It felt like I had stepped into some eastern sanctuary. I felt connected to myself and the earth and I wanted to sit there and read and meditate my concerns away.
I’m not sure if I’ll see the couple again, or even if they were real because it was like a fantasy sitting there with them. The love they have for each other brought a tear to my eye and I found myself crying in front of them because it was so beautiful the way they explored life together and the way they complemented each other so well. They were the type of couple you can admire for their inner and outer beauty. I can only be so lucky as to experience this type of love that they describe as having grown as the months and years rolled by.
There was a level of comfort there that I could sense, I could feel it. They were secure with each other and wanted to meet a friend to share all of that love and joy with. I felt kind of raggedy because I don’t have nice clothes to wear and they were so immaculate and drove a Jaguar but for some reason, I don’t think that mattered to them.
I wanted to be with them, physically and in the heart. I wanted to care for them, to be a witness to and to celebrate in their love with them, coming as close as I could to this ideal experience. He calls her his queen. She behaves like one. He spoils her, but she doesn’t need it.
When he met her, she was a hardworking graphic designer and he loved her work ethic so he contracted her to do work for his company, which helped her to eat better. He helped her to help herself and they grew their company together as a team.
Damn, that’s what I’m talking about. ~sigh~
Meeting them made me DESIRE what they have, but it’s still not that life or death kind of desire. It’s more of a ‘that would be nice’ kind of thing and I like that I feel that way.
I am so blown away that I had that experience. It feels like the Universe set me up to experience this awesome afternoon and I’m grateful for the treat.
I am so grateful. I am so glad that I did this. Maybe there are more people who love life and are bubbling over with joy. They said they are so blessed it seems like its selfish not to share some of that love.
I am so grateful that I met them.