My Mama sent me a letter today along with the picture DVD she made for my aunt’s funeral.
The letter reads:
Hey Tee
Hope all is well; here is the memorial DVD of my sister and a copy of the obituary. Sorry you could not make it. Everybody is fine and going on with their lives. Since we talk all the time, I have nothing more to write. Talk to you later.
Love,
Your Mother
I cried.
LOL! She never writes me letters. It felt so good to get one from her.
I saw her on the MSN messenger tonight and said Hi. She asked me when I was going to change my status from “Happy Birthday Kanye!” I told her, “When he calls me and tells me thank you.”
She typed, “He already called me and told me to tell you to stop stalking him cuz he got a man.”
She is soooo silly!
I miss her.
She’s cool. She doesn’t bad mouth anyone or put anyone down. She keeps to herself and works on her little computer projects for fun. She puts in all of these hours of work when holidays come and she doesn’t charge anyone for any of the work she does. I’m like, “Ma, you could make some money.” But she says she is just keeping busy.
Today was a pretty good day. I spoke to Kim a million times and we discussed the J.K. Rowlings story. This woman went from poverty as a single mom to being the first person to become a billionaire from writing BOOKS. Now she gives millions to charities worldwide! That’s gonna be me! I am going to be a philanthropist! I feel tingles all over. I love inspirational stories and I can’t wait to start writing biographies of successful people. My dream biography is…Halle Berry. Oooh! I can’t wait! I’ve been fantasizing about this book for YEARS! I already have the title and everything.
I feel like I’m getting closer to the promise because so many people are falling by the wayside. They are frustrated with the decisions that I make for my life and say they can’t take watching me live like this anymore.
I could see if I was a complaining chick; then I could understand their annoyance but since I’m always trying to be positive and follow my peace, I don’t get it. But then again I do… It’s all love.
This is a crazy journey I’m on and who knows where I’ll end up next. I’m just here…waiting for something to happen. I spend my days reaching out to people who I believe can use my gift. I tell them who I am and I tell them about my journey. I’m trying to make a connection but..I haven’t found the divine match yet. I know that it would make a good story for radio or print or even television. It would make a great reality show even! Lifetime movie? I can see it now…
WOMAN RISKS ALL TO FIND HER PERFECT PLACE IN THE WORLD, WATCH HER STORY UNFOLD AS SHE FULFILLS HER DESTINY
I just need someone to believe with me.
Besides marketing myself, I also spend most of my time praying. Sounds all “dreamy” but it’s not, it’s regular. I’m not on my knees with my hands clasped. I’m usually just laying wrapped inside my blanket with my eyes squeezed tightly and talking to God that way.
I ask Him to show me if I’m doing anything wrong on this journey. Then I ask Him to forgive me for my mistakes. I often ask Him to show me what my next move should be. I trust that all of my creativity and intelligence comes from Him so I ask Him for ideas all the time.
Can I miss Him if I diligently seek Him? I don’t think so. So that brings me peace knowing that sooner than later something is going to break. Even if it means that I have to leave Dallas, then it will be because something better popped up somewhere else. But God knows that I want to bring my kids here, buy a home here and be a blessing to this city but we’ll see what He does and I’m still open… I am…
Until then…I just wait and write on my website. It’s a lot more work than I thought it was going to be.
Writing on my blog is like eating popcorn. I don’t think, I just write. Writing for my website requires deep thinking and strategies as I seek sponsorships and develop a strong editorial calendar. And then the style of writing is different as well because I’m trying to set a certain voice for it and I’m not sure what that will be yet. I can’t wait until I get more writers to join in and help but until I do I will just keep giving the best of what I have.
Ok, I wanted to hide it from everyone so I’ll look like I’m strong but…I still think about The Prez everyday. More than once. More than twice. ~sadly~ I wish I didn’t. I wish I could forget. I feel like a fool.
Fantasizing about a man who is not remotely interested in me is a trait that I used to have and I thought that I would have grown from that by now so I am dissappointed in myself.
But I’ll get over it.In a minute…for now I’ll just enjoy the fantasy until God takes it away and replaces it with real love.I’m so happy right now! I can feel the blessing coming soon.Tomorrow I’m going to do what I love to do, volunteer!I’ll write about it later. Lord, please let me wake up on time.~smile~