Month: April 2011

Look at me doing HAIR! Don’t I look like a Mama who does hair? Aww. I want my own lil Mama to do hair with. I don’t know what is going on but I am having LITTLE GIRL FEVER! I want a little girl to influence and watch grow and to hang out with. OH WOW!

I thought I didn’t want any more kids. ~sigh~

I got to hang out with my Mama today. She is on some diabetes medications so she can’t drink beer or eat sugar and she has lost SO MUCH WEIGHT! OMG!

Her clothes are falling off of her and she looks like she did when I was in elementary school. It was crazy!

I’m still having “I want a daughter” fever. I don’t want a BABY but I want a big girl, may 6-10 to talk to and share wisdom with and groom for greatness.

I’m aching on the inside- YEARNING for a connection like this. But I’m not having any more kids. no big belly for me so I may have to adopt a big girl or something.

I feel so good right now. I know nothing in my physical circumstances have changed but there’s an inner shift that is undeniable and my INNER ME is growing in leaps and bounds and I feel so beautiful and so powerful and so certain of my value and worth.

I KNOW I’M THE SHIT!

I feel it.

Only thing is, my light shines so brightly that I am always being stared at and it unnerves me a little bit. I usually notice it when I’m with someone and they point it out saying, “That couple/group/man/car has been staring at you for the longest.”

It’s kinda weird but it’s not exactly new but it’s still weird. I’m not complaining though, it’s just weird.

Wanna know how I feel right now? I feel like I’m destined for greatness. Wait, I always felt like that but this time I feel like I’m standing backstage and Obama is on stage introducing me and about to call me for a big award and introduce me to the country.

That is how I feel right now.

I am so so SO happy right now!

On the INSIDE and I feel like…

Like

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I wish I could have this moment for life.

What did I do this weekend?

Oh, nothing special.

I just hung out with a PORN STAR and his girlfriend in their downtown Miami condo, poolside sipping on wine and talking.

It was awesome! I got to ask all kinds of questions and see them in their real light. I even spent the night and woke up in the middle of the night SMILING. No, we didn’t do anything. We just hung out and I interviewed him about his lifestyle.

It was absolutely awesome! Their condo was beautiful and they were very gracious hosts. I think I’ll hang out with them again, after my project of course.

Who was he? Here he is!

I don’t know what is happening to me.

If you saw the way I was in my meeting today you wouldn’t understand either. Today I met with a community center and gave my presentation and I did it so succintly, so eloquently. By the time I left everyone’s eyes were glued to the floor out of respect. I handled the questions with such certainty and vigor that when I walked out of there I had to shake my head and when I got home I had to stare at myself in the mirror.

Who are you?

Where did your confidence come from?

Who are you?

Where have you been hiding all this time?

I feel like the leader I always knew I was. I feel like I can see clearly through every situation and I stand firmly knowing that I can do anything and I can leader others toward their dreams too.

Last night I was on the phone with Ruby and she said, “Tee! I can’t believe you. You’ve become so smart! Your business strategy is amazing!”

Yes. It is.

The only thing I realize I can’t deal with is insecure women. I am no longer babysitting women who don’t recognize their worth or their power or who are afraid to stand beside the best of the best because they feel they don’t measure up.

If you KNOW you measure up and you walk in greatness- CONTACT ME.

And I’m pulling as many people with me as I can.

Who’s coming?

My little cousin just wrote a note on my FB wall saying that she always wanted to be like me. My eyes teared up considerably as I read and re read her comment.

Who is she talking about? What have I done that is so admirable?

On the real, many women say that to me and it confuses me every time. I don’t get it. I don’t have any “Stuff”. I’m not stable in any way materially. I don’t think I have it together.

I don’t get it.

I am a little down because my project is not being well received in the community. I have heard from one reporter who says she is inspired by my actions yet, why are so many others so resistant to this idea?

I feel a little let down but there is no way that I can stop now.

I started this project wanting to heal women from fear as I healed myself and then I figured while I am at the bottom, I may as well bring some women up with me. I don’t know how this is going to turn out. I have no idea what I’m doing.

I am 2 days away from the beginning of my next adventure and everything is like a puzzle piece to me. I’m still trying to figure out how it all comes together.