For years I was weak. Looking into the eyes of every man, hoping to see someone who could love me. Running at the first sign of interest, opening my legs to let them in and simultaneously push them away.
I feel like, I’m too grown to be going through that. And no by grown I don’t mean, I’m working a job with a nice shiny car and a house in my name with a fine ass man to come fuck me on a regular basis. By grown I mean, my expectations for my life and my value have shifted.
I don’t want to desire anything outside of myself to make me happy. I don’t want to NEED anyone outside of myself to make me feel loved.
And I’m damn sure tired of watching women cry and beg men to love them. I know how they feel cuz I used to feel like that. But I’m not anymore and I’m tired of watching women put their man’s happiness over their own. OR sacrifice what they know they are worth to get some attention.
I feel like that’s child’s play. And I’m not a child anymore.
And I don’t want friends like that anymore.
And I’m moving in a new direction.
And I don’t care who doesn’t believe me or believe with me cuz only those who see a vision similar to mine will understand me. That is who my new friends will be.
I’m moving on from these people who stare at me wide eyed and opened mouthed or shake their heads at me in pity because I’m not 10 years into some job or stuck up under some man who gives me his ass to kiss.
I’m straight.
SO STRAIGHT.
On everybody!
Cuz, I’m moving on from all this bullshit.
It’s time to create a new life with new people who want more than just…a man, a job, a shiny car.
Ugh.
I feel like I’m growing past that bullshit.
And it’s done.