Why Are We So Afraid?

Why can’t we admit it?

Barack Obama is SEXY!

No disrespect to his wife. I’m not trying to break up a happy home but when that man comes on the TV screen– yowsa! And when I hear his voice over the radio- GOOD LORD!

There’s nothing wrong with admitting that one of our leaders has an aura about him that commands respect from both men and women and oozes manliness. Obama is what most of us wish our husbands and fathers were like.

Obama is the new JFK.

I wanted to include him in the Celebrity Baby Daddy poll I did on the website but my friend Tamara talked me out of it. “That’s disrespectful,” she said to me as we developed the list of candidates over the phone late one night.

I listened to her, like I always do but afterwards I asked myself: Why not add Obama? He’s a man just like the rest of them. His political status doesn’t make him any less sexy. He’s a fine specimen of a man and I’m sure many women would agree.

To my surprise, the poll was a hit as women from across the country logged in to share who their fantasy baby daddy would be. I was even more surprised to hear about the uproar the poll caused. People commented in the forum and on other websites that the poll was wrong and celebrated illegitimate fatherhood.

I shook my head at the notion. You know what the poll celebrated; the beauty of the Black man. It also celebrated my active imagination and my vibrant libido.

Before there were politics, before there was television, before there were all these rules placed on us by society, we were all free. We were all loving life in our native lands taking care of our families and embracing our natural instincts. Now we are expected to act like we don’t even have vaginas.

Why, as Black women, are we so afraid to admit that we love secks too? We have needs too. We have desires that go beyond the traditional missionary position. Why are men allowed to express their sexual fantasies while it is only acceptable for us to sit in the house and take care of them?

Who set those standards? I bet it was a bunch of men!

Yes, I’m abstinent right now, so I may think about secks more than the average person but is it so wrong to have a healthy imagination and sexual life filled with activities that please both you and your partner? As long as you both agree, nothing should be taboo. Is it wrong for me to stand up like Salt N Pepa did and scream, If I wanna take a guy, home with me tonight, It’s NONE OF YO BIZNESS!

Yes, I do have a Babby Daddy. I had two children out of wedlock when I was too young to make better decisions. He’s down in Miami taking great care of our boys affording me the chance to go after my dreams and I appreciate him everyday for that. Now that I’m older and wiser, I choose to live differently and most importantly I’m FREE!

I’m FREE to love how I want to love, knowing that God doesn’t make mistakes and He made me perfect in His eyes. I’m FREE to think for myself and enjoy my imaginative side. I’m FREE to embrace my freakiness and practice on myself until I meet my soulmate. I’m FREE to celebrate the Black men I meet, just as they look at me with admiration in their eyes, I can give them back the exact same energy without worrying how it may make me look.

What they think doesn’t matter to me. Hmph! I’m the Alpha Chick. My opinion of myself is important. My ability to tap into that part of me that says, “You are just fine. Your feelings are valid and your desires are as natural as a soothing breeze.”

So, YES, Obama is SUPER FINE…but so are a whole lot of other men. I don’t plan to do anything about it (this time) but I sure can enjoy myself…in my imagination.

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. -Abert Einstein