I’m not sure I believe in a God anymore.
Does that mean I’m saying I don’t believe in good?
I don’t know if I believe in the popular concept of a God that loves and cares for us like a father. God doesn’t care. Why would a God create us to suffer? why would a God place us here in this horrible place for people to hurt us and take advantage of us and for us to spend centuries hurting?
This morning I found myself talking to God after a really bad occurrence at work. As I did this, I was so sad because I was talking but I didn’t believe anyone was listening. I don’t know if I believe there’s a higher power who cares.
Maybe we were created by accident. There’s no way we could be placed here as a test for ANOTHER existence. And there’s no way were placed here trapped for hundreds of incarnations until we can learn certain life lessons so we can evolve spiritually. That sounds like torture.
Why are we REALLY here?
Why am I here yet I can’t enjoy this life because I don’t know how to place the social game well enough and I never feel safe anywhere?
Why give me children to bring into this horrible world?
I don’t get it.