Throwin Up On Myself

I feel sad because I don’t have anyone to talk to about all this.

No one will understand because no one I know wants success as much as I do. No one dreams as big as I do. No one FEELS as much as I do. Sometimes I want to cry because I just wish ONE PERSON would feel me on the hunger for walking in my destiny.

This is the type of hunger that makes people quit their jobs, walk out on their relationships and forsake their families. I have that! I feel like that!

But I won’t do that.

This is so deep. This need to prosper and not live check to check. This need to get my ideas out and heal as others heal with me and through me. It’s heavy in my chest like vomit. I wanna throw it up but it’s not going anywhere.

I don’t know why God made me like this. I wish I could settle for less. I wish I didnt KNOW that I was capable of having an impact on the world. Then maybe I could smile and sit quietly at my desk cranking out press releases and making some other person rich.

~sigh~

My burden is my gift.

All I can do is take it to God.

And so I will.

Till one day, every ray of light will be released through me and my radiance will shine brighter than the most brilliant star in the most pitch back sky.

I want it.

I want it all.

I have to get it.