Wow…
Life surely is a trip. I’ve experienced things in this past week that let me know that I am truly passing through my own Saturn Return. It’s a time when those people/things that are not good for you, are stripped away and you are redirected…according to astrology.
I was surprised and annoyed when my own bestfriend Tamara experienced depression in the months leading up to her 30th birthday. She expressed fear of death and fears about life and not being where she wanted to be. She longed for a soulmate and even fasted in order to call him into her life.
When my turn came to turn 30, I went through the same shit. I don’t fear death at all, but I began to assess where I had grown and IF I would ever grow past the issues that had been haunting me since childhood. I studied my relationships with the men in my life and I realized that my closest relationship was not good for me although it appeared to be on the surface.
That relationship began transitioning on its own with a little help from a consistent prayer that those who are tied to me will find a replacement if they are not adding anything positive to MY life. I developed a healthier appreciation for my life long friends and a couple of old friends resurfaced to show me love once again.
Everything has been shaken loose and once again I face a time in my life where I have no idea what will happen next. For some reason, this doesnt scare me at all. I embrace it, knowing that there are treasures that will be unconvered beyond every season of transition.
I’m 30. I’ve done a lot but theres so much more to experience- So many new people to meet and learn from!
I look forward to interacting with people who are closer to my age group and experience level. I look forward to developing the skillset to accomplish my goals. I used to think something was seriously wrong with me, now I don’t. I just haven’t found my place in this world yet. Its okay.
I used to desire world wide adoration, fame and fortune. Now all of that isn’t so important. my vision is back to the way it was when I was a jit; I would like to be a writer, a self help writer and counselor and travel and give seminars. I don’t need to be on Oprah’s level.
I now let GOOOOOO of my 20’s and all the madness/strength that resulted from it. I don’t run from it, I smile because of it. All that stuff was WILD but I don’t regret a thing that happened.
I am so in love with my progress and my life has been well lived…so far.
It’s all good.
I hope it stays that way.