Still Moving

I have NOT been neglecting my internet duties. I feel like I’ve been on punishment cuz I have not had a stable internet connection in over a month. I’m at school now about to head to class.

I have so much that is going on right now. I lost my job at Denny’s cuz I cursed out the manager for accusing me of stealing AGAIN. So I have been everyday getting up looking for more restaurant jobs but haven’t gotten hired yet.

I remind myself that everything happens for a reason and you can never really LOSE something unless its time for you to receive more. I’m open to receiving more but when I look around me…I can’t see how the hell that could happen.

The crazy thing is…

I’m experiencing the best case scenario of KARMA that I can remember in a LONG time. It’s this guy I’ve been vibing…

Dude… Like..For real…this man reminds me of me so much in the way that he takes care of me. Like, I don’t have to THINK, he thinks for me. Like, he anticipates my needs in a way that no man has ever done. He treats me like I treat other people.

If I were to sit here and write out all that I’ve experienced you’d probably be like, “So what” But believe ME- I do NOT get treatment like that from men at all.

When I’m with this man, I feel like I’m a part of a team. He tells me I’m beautiful. He cooks for me. I have been sleeping at his place because he doesn’t like the fact that I don’t have a bed at mine. And get this…when I sleep over, he sleeps on the couch. He’s not even trying to fuck. He just likes being around me.

I get no complaints at all. I’m not too this or too that. I don’t know how to take all of this. I don’t have fears about him because I’m not emotionally attached to him, but I do wish I could do more to thank him for being there for me. He rides with me to look for jobs and when I needed a place to live he went with me to do that and he makes sure I have everything I need at all times.

Support…Just like my friends do. So grateful.

And…now that my lil money from Denny’s is gone..he breaks me off so I can have gas and money in my pocket. He works 2 jobs so he can do that for me. I feel like…like..damn.

You mean to tell me it’s not all about YOUR goals and YOUR issues? Like…if I need something you will make effort to help me get it? What? A man? Serious? That has NEVER happened. I always feel like I’m doing way more than any guy I have been friends with. I never say no when asked for help…but him…he never says no to me. In fact, I don’t even have to ask because he just takes care of it all. It’s so much fun doing for someone who reciprocates. I wonder how long this will last.

All I know is…because of him, I look at my past and I’m like, “Naw…I got it all wrong. What was I thinking?”

But the thing I realize is, all of my past relationships, including the one with DEEP helped me to appreciate all that he does for me. His pleasure is making sure I’m satisfied.

Shit…That’s my pleasure too! LOL!

Man…I gotta head to class right now. Studying psychopathology this semester which means I’m learning how to diagnose clients with mental illnesses and label them according to the DSM-IV. It’s scary because I see so much of myself in those mental illnesses…but my classmates said, “You’re not alone. We see ourselves too.”


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