Practice

My boys had just been scooted off to bed when I reach for my cell phone to call my brother Randall.

I find his name in my contacts and push SEND. I’m pacing the floor and preparing myself for the conversation. I wanna sound a little pissed but I’m really not, I just feel like acting tonight. He, he!

“Yeah.” he answers.
“Wuzzup, this is Ms. Tee.” I have a strange habit of introducing myself when I call someone. I think I just like the sound of my name.
“I know who this is. What’s going on?”
“Tell your girl I said Hi.”
“Heyyyy!” he yells out. “My sister said Hi.”
“Ok, so what is YOUR PROBLEM? You sending me to meet up with Jay-Z fat cousin!”
He laughs. “You don’t like him?”
“You tried me.”
“No I didn’t. I hooked you up. I asked you before if you like fat boys and you said yeah. You said you like them because you knew they’d always feed you cuz they gotta eat too.”
“I DO like big boys, men with a little belly on’em but damn, they have to have a decent face! He look like the ugly version of Jay-Z!”
“I kinda thought he looked like he worked at a circus.”
“SEE!” I scream. “You are soo stupid!” I’m laughing now.
“He may be ugly but he pay like he weigh!” He tells me. “And he probably got low self esteem. All he lookin for is a pretty girl to walk around with in public. If you do that, he’ll buy you anything you want.”
“Hmm. You know, he was telling me how in his last relationship he paid all his girl’s bills and he did not even hit.”
“That’s what I’m saying. Give it two weeks and then tell him you need something. I bet he buy it!”
“I don’t know Randall. I don’t know if I can do that. If I know I don’t like him, I can’t just take stuff from him.”
“Well you betta learn! That’s all this is, practice. “
I laugh!
“Boy!”
“Look, you bout to move. Don’t you need stuff? You can get it all, if you do it right. Don’t be stupid now. All you have to do is be nice.”
“Boy, lemme go. I need to go write a little before I go to bed.”
“OK.”

We hang up.

Hmm.

Could I really get this man to give me money just by spending time with him? Ughhh. I know I don’t like him and I can’t play games like that. But chicks do it all the time. Chicks get paid like that. They pretend to be interested in ugly guys and then they are taken care of. But I can’t do it. I’ll feel too bad. Damn, why is my concious so damn LOUD? If I don’t like him then I have no business taking from him. Well, if he WANTS TO. Why not take it? Cuz you don’t LIKE HIM! That’s NOT RIGHT! But for once don’t you wanna feel like someobody wanna spend on you? ALl those broke men in the past that you cared about- you had to GIVE to them! They never gave you anything but a headache and tears. It’s your turn. Take advantage. He knows what he’s getting into. He WANTS it. You can do this. No, I can’t. It’s wrong. I don’t like playing with someone’s feelings. I can’t do it. I’ll feel too bad. Yes you can. When he calls just say YES, I’ll go out with you. I don’t know. This hurts my heart. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt someone intentionally. I can’t play games like this. Yes you can. You’ve been played. How you gonna be in the game and then act like you don’t wanna play?

RRRINNNNG!

“Hey.”
“Hey, Ms. Tee how are you? I hope you had a good day.”
“Yeah, it was straight…and yours?”
“It was great, but even better now that I’m talking to you. I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Uh, yeah.”
“So, when will that be?”
“Well…”

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