A DL friend of mine and I were chatting about a girl she’s interested in. I looked her up.. don’t act like yall don’t do it too. LOL..and my first thought was, “Um..she looks just like you.”
She replied, “I know..I’m a perfect narcissist!”
That made me smile and even further confirmed that we are attracted to people who resemble ourselves in most ways and even in physical features. We are also often attracted to people who have qualities that we want to develop in ourselves.
The super beautiful stud I was FIRST attracted to, just LOOKED like someone I wanted to be around. It was her quiet demeanor and flawless look that turned my head and blew my mind…
The next chick I saw on South Beach (she’s on DL too) was like whoa.. It was her beautiful spirit that attracted me to her. She seemed so calm and so in control.
My internet girlfriend…whooo….to me she looked like she could be my sister! I was so taken by her beauty that I HAD to send a request and we ended up hitting it off and falling in cyber love! LOL She was a jokester. I’m not. I loved that about her.
The cute stud I hung out with last weekend is a social butterfly. She flitters from club to club when she feels like it, laughing and talking to everyone. Everyone loves her.
Man… that flawless look, that beautiful spirit and that bright, social personality are all qualities that i don’t possess, but i wish I did.
That is what leads me to be attracted. I am attracted to people who have qualities that I do not have. I wrote about it once in a research paper called Motivating Factors that Influence Attraction.
The factor that I find most appealing is Identity Enhancement. It’s where you are attracted to people who you feel will somehow help you enhance who you are as a person.
What factors motivate you to become attracted?