I Went Through All That…For This

My life is a miracle.

Speed through time….20 years from now. December 17, 2027

I’m sitting in my home office finishing off a memo to my staff when my phone rings. It’s my assistant.

“Ms. Tee. There’s a Keisha Jackson here to see you.”

My eyes light up. “Send her in.”

I stand up and smile warmly as a petite figure wearing a faded jean jacket and dark brown pants cautiously opens the door and steps in.

“Keisha,” I say and extend my hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Keisha’s eyes scan the room taking in the beauty of my most prized space. She walks over to my award wall and begins reading the awards, all given for my philanthropy over the years, my work as a noted therapist and inspirational speaker as well as a full collection of framed book covers of all of the books that I have written.

“This is my favorite,”I say as I point to a framed drawing given to me by my oldest son when he was only 5 years old. “This is why I was able to accomplish all of this.”

Keisha’s eyes begin to tear up as she sits down on the leather sofa and stares at her hands, now clasped tightly in front of her.

I know why she is here. My best friend Tamara sent her to see me. She’s 24 years old, a single mom and in a tough spot right now. I promised Tamara that I would take good care of her.

“Is that your husband?” Keisha asks, her eyes straining to see the framed photo atop my desk.

“Yeah, that’s him,” I respond and pass the photo to her. “That was taken the day we both decided that we were in love. It was a crazy day. He told me he loved me and we had only been dating for two weeks. But I knew it before he said it. I knew it from day one. He was the one. He treated me like I always deserved to be treated.”

As I’m speaking she gently places the photo face down on the couch beside her, staring at the ground.

I picked it up and placed it back on my desk, leaning against it as I studied her face, worn and worried.

“Ms. Tee,” she began and then paused for a moment before lifting her head to meet my gaze.
“Ms. Tamara told me that you would be able to help me if I told you what was going on but…I don’t see how you’d understand.”

I watched as her eyes scanned my body. From my designer shoes to my perfectly tanned and toned legs to my impeccable dress, manicured nails and stunning make up. Her head dropped again. Her shoulders began heaving up and down as her own scrubby fingernails raked through her hair.

“What won’t I understand Keisha?” I asked softly.

She lifted her head and her face tightened as tears streamed down her cheeks. The very next words she spoke shocked me with their venom.

“You won’t understand SHIT!” she spat out, rising from her seat, her voice trembling with emotion.

I folded my arms across my chest and watched her closely. There’s something about her…

“You don’t know what it’s like!” she screams. “You can’t help me! Look at you! You with your awards and plaques and your drivers and shit! You don’t know what it’s like! You can’t relate to what I’m going through!”

“How do you know that?” I ask her.

“Cuz look at you! You have a husband! I heard he’s a billionaire!”

“Well, he was only a millionaire before I met him. But go on…” I say.

My words seemed to ignite a fire inside of her. She took a step toward me, shaking her head violently.

“You don’t know! You don’t know what it’s like! You don’t know! You don’t know me! You’ve never been homeless and hungry!”

“Yes, my dear, I have.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “No, you don’t know me! You’ve never been tossed to the side by the father of your children. Been told you were worthless and wanted to kill yourself because of it!”

“Yes, Keisha. I have.”

“Stop playin with me!” she shouted and took another step toward me, studying my face.
“No. You haven’t! You can’t tell me you’d know what it’s like to have to be the only one in your family to go to college and then have to drop out of school because you got pregnant! You’ve never been molested! You’ve never tried so hard to reach for your dream and fail miserably every time! You can’t know! Look at you! You don’t know!”

“Keisha..”I began and reached out to touch her. She flinched as my fingers gripped her shoulder. “Keisha, I do know.”

I lowered my eyes as teardrops formed in the corners. Now I see why Tamara sent her to see me.

She is me.

This was me.

So many years ago.

So many years ago when all I had was ambition and faith, very little knowledge and no one to back me. I was confused and hurt and miserable.

“Keisha,” I said and guided her back to the sofa. She was sobbing uncontrollably now.

I reached for a tissue and handed it to her. She blew her nose loudly and reached for another.

“Keisha. I know you see me now. I’m all poised and successful and content. But I wasn’t always like this. A long time ago, I was just where you are. I was confused. I was lonely. I was hurting.”

“You? You were?” she asked, lifting her head to look me in the eye.

“Yes. I was. I used to hate men. I would have shot them all if someone had let me borrow a gun!”

She smiled.

“Girl, I spent a night in jail once over a fight with my baby daddy,” I admitted.

“You did?” she asked, her mouth open in astonishment.

“Yes. I did. I was 8 months pregnant with my oldest son at the time too.”

“Me too!” she said, her voice rising and cracking. “I mean, I wasn’t pregnant but I had a fight with my daughter’s father and I went to jail for one night.”

“We have so much in common Keisha. You have so much to heal from. But it’s my promise to you that everything that I have, you can have, if you really want it. It DOES get better. Things get better and better every year. You continue to learn, you continue to fight for your dream, you get everything you want in the end.”

“Are…Are you sure?”

I nod. “I’m sure. Just as sure as I am sitting here telling you all this, one day, you’ll switch places with me and you’ll meet a young lady who is at the end of her rope and you’ll tell her that she will pull through.”

“I will?”

“I promise you Keisha. It’s a done deal. And when you do, you’ll realize that you went through all of that…to help her, to relate to her. To be able to reach out and show her what her future will become if she doesn’t give up.”

Her eyes are dry now as she looks up at me. All of the weariness is gone now. “Do you really mean it? Do you mean I can be like you one day? Could that happen to me?” she asks.

“It WILL happen to you. You can have more, be more and loved more than I have. But it all begins with a decision. You have to decide right now that you want it more than you want your next breath. When you decide to choose success for your future and focus on that, it will come. And I promise, I’ll help you.”

“You’ll help?”

“I’ll be here every step of the way.”

“You don’t mind.”

“It’s my gift to God. It’s what He made me to do. He gave me the gift of upliftment. I receive joy from that. Now go on in the restroom, it’s right over there. Wash your face, come out and we’ll talk. Now that we know where you’ve been, we can start working on where you’re about to go.”

My eyes follow her as she walks into the hallway and disappears.

I walk behind my desk and tap lightly onto my deskpad, sending Tamara a quick message.

I just met Keisha. I just wanted to say thanks for reminding me of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. I went through all of that…for this.