I miss Him

I miss the intimacy. I miss the cuddles and the joy and the smiles. I miss the security of knowing I was living everyday to please Him.

Lately my heart has been missing His Word, His eternal hope and His love. I know He still loves me. I know He does.

I just want more of Him. And I want it now, when things are going well. I don’t want to wait until my next struggle. I think maybe that’s why I am yearning for Him so much. Right now I’m happy, I’m letting go of a lot of hurt in my past and I’m extremely hopeful. I want Him to share in that. I want Him to know I’m grateful for where I am. I want Him to know that I’m still here and I still love Him and I still want to be used and I still want my life to give Him the glory.

And I try to pray. I do, but I feel like maybe I don’t deserve to be listened to. But I know better. I know He feels my heart and loves me and wants me to be His baby again.

I have not completely gone astray. I believe once you taste His power and His love, you will always hunger for it. And I do.

I want Him. I miss Him. With everything in me, I want to know that He is proud of me.