I met a really, really fine guy this past weekend. I was surprised that he approached me because honestly, fine guys don’t approach me that often. Wait, I’m lieing, but I never entertain them because I don’t want to be with any man who looks better than me. For some reason, this cute young man caught my eye too so when he asked for my number I gave it to him.
B’cept, instead of calling to talk to me, he keeps texting me. At first I was pissed off by that so I called my sister and asked her why the hell this dude keeps texting me like that and she explained that young guys text women at first until they become more comfortable. Oh, I didn’t know that.
I don’t mind text messages, but text conversations– not my thang. Bitch pick up the phone!
So earlier today he texts me asking me if I wanted to chill with him tonight.
Chill? The anger in me started rising up out of nowhere. Bitch, who has time to chill?! I have dreams and goals and shit to write and organize. Why the hell does he have time to chill anyway? What kind of dude is he if he has ample time to hang out and do nothing but look at me?
I decided immediately that I didn’t like him.
~sigh~
And then I realized that my attitude about him has to be some kind of defense mechanism. I keep saying I want some affection and attention but when it is offered to me I find a reason to dismiss it. If all I want is secks and affection, I could have that from a number of people. Why do I keep turning it away?
I don’t know, man. I really don’t know.