Choose Peace

You know, sometimes you have to look around for your blessing. While looking for some grand thing you may overlook the more subtle gifts from God.

I am so blessed to have many friends in my life and I struggle with receiving from them. I love to give and impart wisdom and encouragement, but when it comes to receiving, I guess my pride gets in the way. I think it’s because I don’t want anyone to be able to throw in my face what they did for me. So, if someone does something for me I break my neck to return the favor. I just realized I don’t have to.

Their kindness is not of their own will. It is God using them to take care of me. Yesterday my friend Reggie called and said he had something for and he wanted to come over. When he got here I was so surprised and happy. He bought me some brand new clippers so that I can cut my sons’ hair. I think I must have mentioned my need a couple of weeks ago and God used him to bless me. That means so much to me you guys because I had just asked their father to buy us some clippers and he went off on me, telling me that I am a grown azz woman and I need to be able to contribute to our children and how I need to get a job and do something with myself. It didnt hurt as much as it used to but I sighed because…I’m tired of him being himself.

Another blessing came from my friend Lem who offered to support my business by paying for my business cards. He’s so sweet to me, always has been.

I know it doesn’t seem like much of a blessing considering I am still in need of some steady income, but to me it means a lot. I choose to have peace about my situation, trusting that all of my needs will be met.

That’s right. It’s a choice.

I’m not sitting over here mad at the world, my former publisher or myself for being unemployed. I am excited about my next venture and grateful that my son’s have no idea what a precarious financial situation we are in.

I choose peace.

I choose to trust and believe that good guys don’t always come in last place.

I choose to believe that I am worthy of all that I ask God for, which isn’t much. I just want a decent place to live and a job that will allow me to use my gift to impact others in a positive way.

I choose not to dwell on the negativity. I choose to laugh even though I should be devastated.

Once I made these choices, a weight was lifted. Trusting God is so much easier than worrying. And that’s what He wants us to do. He wants us to cast all of our cares on Him. He wants to carry our burdens but we tend to give them to Him then snatch them back.

I won’t do that anymore.

I believe sometimes God allows difficult circumstances to hit our lives so that we can refocus and depend on Him. It’s a tough lesson to learn but it is why He sent His son, so that we do not have to bear the burden alone.

This isn’t some last ditch effort to take the attention away from my faults or misgivings or some lame attempt to not try harder. Everyone knows that I am proactive. You gotta give God something to work with. But trust that your every effort will be used by Him to bring you closer to your destiny, IF what you are doing brings honor to Him. Don’t think that God is going to bless a situation that will not bring honor to Him. He said He will never leave you nor forsake you, but His COMPLETE glory will not manifest in your life if you are out of His will.

I wanna be where the blessings are. I choose, to trust Him.

I choose Peace. You should too.