Month: March 2004

I was talking on the phone with my friend when I heard a mysterious knock at the door. I walked to the door and looked through the peephole and there was this weird looking guy there. I didnt know who he was. I say, “Yes.” He responds, “It’s me. It’s your brother.”

Rewind…

Ok, Ok, I forget you guys dont know this situation so I’ll give you a synopsis and if you dont know me personally you will probably write me cursing me out, but those who know me, know how I am.

About a year and a half ago out of the blue I got a phone call one warm afternoon. I was home with my baby Solomon because he wasnt feeling well. The voice on the other end was male and excited. He informed me that I was his biological father. I was like, oh yeah.

To my knowledge I already had a biological father who I hadnt seen since I was maybe 6 years old and I didnt care about him either so one more that’s been missing all my life made no difference to me. But my Pastor advised me to get a paternity test and I did and it turned out that he is my bio dad. So, it turns our he has four other kids that wanted to meet me. When I went down to Miami (my hometown) I met 3 of them, they’re half Puerto Rican and they’re cool.

Although I feel like I love them and I receive them as my natural brothers and sisters I dont feel a thing for my bio dad. He’s just another man off the street to me. I’m sorry but I cant help that. My Pastor has been more of a father to me than he has and I’ve only been under my Pastor’s covering for a couple of years.

Back to the regular program…

Ok, so this guy is at the door asking me to let him in, I’m wearing a t-shirt and nothing else, my boys are eating dinner and there’s crumbs and toys all over the floor, my dishes aren’t washed and I’m looking around like, dang, this is the wrong time. So I tell him that I can’t have company right now and he says, “This is your brother (I dont recognize this guy so he must be the one I didnt get to meet when I was in Miami) I want to see you, my Dad is out in the truck we’re on our way from Georgia and we didnt have your number.”

Soooo… what do you think I did?

I think something must be inheritantly wrong with me because I dont even feel bad. I called out my number to him and told him next time, give me some notice before showing up at my door. He left.

Ok, Ok, I feel a little bad but that’s how I am. I TOLD you I’m not nice. I TOLD you I have a attitude problem. I’m such a horrible person.

I have this thing that NO ONE comes to my house with out calling first. It is my PET PEEVE! I guess I have a few exceptions, like if you’ve known me for more than 4 years or if you’re related to me. These people know the truth. These people know that I am very unorganized and messy and I’m always wearing next to nothing around the house.

For real… The real reason I DO NOT ALLOW unexpected company is because I can hardly keep my house together. What kind of woman would ever admit that? I am so unorganized, so messy… I’ve met two women who were messy like me but funny thing is, they both got married and live normal lives, people still love them.

I see my mess as my obstacle to any man ever loving me. Come on, think about it. When you think of the ideal woman you’re thinking; she cooks, cleans, has a great personality,loves God, takes good care of the kids, is beautiful. Well, I think I have all of those things except for the cleaning part.

Well you may be thinking, “Why dont you TRY?” ~sigh~ I have tried. I have so many wonderful friends who have come over here and helped me. I remember right before my friend Shanna left town to go to the military, she helped me organize my whole house. She sorted clothes, gave me tips and cleaned up everything. I had never been so happy! She is gifted at that.

Two weeks later I was crying again.

It’s not like my house is NEVER clean. It just comes in spurts. And it never stays that way for long. Those who have known me for more than 4 years know me and my mess and are not above helping me pick it up.

You know… I wish I could be that ideal woman. I really do.

I’m sorry if you stop by and I dont answer the door. Now you know why.

You know what? I just can’t get over how much God is blessing the people in my life. It’s as if everyone who is being faithful or just has a desire to serve Him more can not contain what God is giving them.

Let me give a few testimonies.

Ruby

My girl started with her company when she was still an undergrad. She worked part-time managing accounts at a natural gas company while she finished up her degree in advertising. She felt like it wasn’t time to leave Gainesville because she knew that once she stepped outside of this little cozy city, she wouldnt be nothing but trouble. So she stayed and graduated and stayed on with her gas company working full-time. Only six months later she got a promotion to Executive Assistant to the director of Marketing making with a PHAT, I mean PHAT payraise. She was faithful at that job and after a while began to feel like she wasn’t accomplishing her dreams of working in advertising. She kinda got frustrated and made up her mind to leave Gainesville as soon as she could save up enough money.

She sat down with her boss over breakfast one day and told him what was in her heart. She was very honest in admitting that her passions did notline up with what she was doing there and she told him that she planned to pursue outside interests. Being a man of God, he told her he appreciated her honesty and wanted the best for her.

She just called me tonight and told me that her company has created a position for her working on ADVERTISING accounts and creating pamphlets, brochures and ads. EXACTLY what she wanted to do! Her new position starts in April. And it’s all because her boss appreciated her heart and valued her and wanted to see her fulfill her dreams. Isn’t God amazing.

Kim

My girl Kim got her degree at USF in Tampa Florida and sat there for two months without a bite from any employers. A friend of hers offered to let her stay with her if she wanted to try her hand at a new city and without much money, no car and no personal belongings Kim found herself in Chicago. As soon as she got there she got a job and within two months, she had moved out of her friends apartment and was living on her own, making it happen.

She soon grew weary at her job and frustrated that she wasn’t working in her passion which is Information Technology. She called me and said that she was going to quit her job and I lookd at her like she was crazy! She had bills to pay! But she said she had peace about it. She lived off of her meager savings and I was also struggling a little financially during that time so i couldnt help her.

We would talk off and on, more on than off, and SHE is the real reason I had to cut off my long distance- that girl can run her mouth! During my rough patch I had about $126 left and rent was due. With little money coming in from my part-time job and two kids I had to trust that God would take care of everything. After all I had been tithing faithfully and I knew God wouldnt let my kids go without.

On the day my rent was due I checked my mail and there was a check from Kim written out to me which covered not only my rent, but a little extra money for diapers and things for my sons.

I called her astonished but giving all the glory to God and she told me that God told her that if she was obedient to bless me He would open up the doors for her blessing. Remember she had NO JOB at this time.

Two weeks later she started working with Verizon Wireless a company that she loves and wants to stay at. This income provided her an opportunity to get a BETTER apartment on the NORTH side of Chicago with a doorman and everything! She then turned around and did the same thing that was done for her, she encouraged a friend who was struggling to move to Chicago and stay with her.

This girl stayed with Kim for almost 10 months and Kim slept on the couch in her own apartment. The girl moved on this past Monday and Kim decided to help this girl out and bless her with a TV for her new place. This girl’s mother called Kim tonight and thanked her for her faithfulness to her daughter and told her she wanted to show her appreciation by sending her to Honduras on a vacation for a WEEK, all expenses paid! Look what the Lord has done!

Kenya

My girl Kenya left her hometown of Gainesville, FL soon after I had my first son Sai. She moved to LA to pursue her dreams of becoming a fashion designer and writer. She struggled in LA. It was tough to find jobs and with little money and no transportation she was devastasted by the BUS strikes that went on there a while back. She held her peace though and remained in good spirits.

Soon an opportunity came about to move back to the east coast, this time to New York and Kenya jumped on it. I believe God opened up all kinds of doors because when she called me to share what was happening in her life, she had made so many contacts with people in the design and fashion industry and even job offers just a few weeks after she had moved there. Look how the Lord moves!

Racole

My girl Racole, my younger son’s godmother graduated and moved back home to Miami. She struggled a bit in the tough job market and settled into a job that didn’t line up with her passion of law and criminology. She began to save so that she could apply to law school and remember that law school applications dont come cheap!

Before she knew it she had spent over $900 in applications when she got aletter in the mail with a fee waived if she wanted to apply to a law school in California. She applied, was accepted and even got a $17,000 a year scholarship to attend the school. She is a little apprehensive about making such a hug move so I would appreciate your prayers over for about hearing from God and having complete peace about going. But ain’t that something?! The blessing came to her!

Lafay

Lafay became a single mom with three kids a few years ago with a passion for writing and singing. Some of her friends would get annoyed at her for writing her feelings down and always sharing but she did it because that is what she loved to do ( just like me). Recently Lafay turned her passion into profit and signed a contract to publish her first book, she has a new website to promote her original songs and is doing a little modeling on the side. If you can’t see that God has given her favor, I dont know what to tell you. Her stories really encourage me.

The one thing I love about my friends is that they love God and they are so driven, just like me. I thrive on hearing their stories of how they are pursuing their goals relentlessly and God is just moving in their favor, regardless of if they think they deserve it or not.

I am sure I will be able to share more testimonies soon. God is faithful and my friends deserve the very best, just because of what wonderful, understanding, positive women that they have been in my life.

I love you all and keep the stories coming!

~sigh

It really happened.

Today…I…spent the last of my foodstamps.

~sobbing~

They’re all gone and they’re not coming back. I’m not a college kid anymore.

Man…

~chuckles~

And still I smile.

Transitioning from single college mom to single working mom. Trying to be a light and represent Christ. Trying to hold down my household without the certainty of financial aid. Making sure to love on my sons as my as much I can while still showing them who’s got the upper hand.

And still I smile.

You know, there’s more to me than my struggles and pain. I laugh. I make jokes. I have fun. Yeah, I still am working through issues, but, hey, who isnt?

Today I decided to cataog my hopes and share them with you. I have a vision that is so grand I sometimes can’t believe I dream this big.

Things that I want to accomplish

1) My own talk show

2) Write for magazines

3) Write books

4) Be a motivational speaker

5) Earn a passive income

6) Be an Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Cover girl cosmetics model

7) Be on the cover on Essence magazine

8) Write plays

9) Produce television shows

10) Move my parents closer and build them a house

11) Influence culture and shape attitudes about daily living

12) Own my own home(s)

13) Have more babies

14) Win the Nobel Prize for Literature

15) Have a successful marriage

16) Get some braces

My dreams on a platter served fresh and inviting.

Yet to be accomplished but promised.

I smile even though I dont know why. I guess it’s the promise of God remaining in my life.

Do you have a vision?

I really came out of a lot of confusion. It stemmed from my relationship with my Pastor.

You all know how much I love him and admire him, but the truth is I have a very deep love for him that joins us in the spirit. I was confused by this love for him. I was ashamed by my feelings for him. I had never felt this way about a man before so I was scared that i was doing something wrong. Everytime I am in his presence I have a peace. I know that I can talk to him about anything and he will NEVER condemn me or criticize me. He encourages me. He challenges me and he doesnt want anything in return. Nothing.

I was stunned when I realized that.

I used to be so frustrated because I wanted to be a blessing to him but he kept telling me to sit still, focus on school and my family. All I wanted to do was use my gift to help him accomplish his vision and I was so hurt everytime he told me no. I understand now what he was doing. He wanted to show me that I can receive his love without ever giving away anything. I always felt like I couldnt accept help, love or anything unless I had first given away something, just so no one could say that they did so much for me and I didnt do anything for them.

But he refused to let me do anything and I was so frustrated with him. And I was frustrated with myself because I knew I loved him immensely, with my whole heart and I didn’t know if it was appropriate.

After talking with my bestfriend Anna, my world changed. She told me about how she felt when her dad left and divorced her mother. She felt devastated. She had lost her confidante, her bestfriend, the one man that she compared every other man to. She had lost the person who believed in her and cherished her without ever judging her or putting her down. She felt like she had lost her father.

After listening to Anna pour out her heart I began to identify with the feelings she had for her dad. I realized I felt the same level of comfort and love for my Pastor. These feelings I was having were not innappropriate. These feelings were not perverted or weird. This is how it feels to love your father. You adore your father. You think he’s the best thing that ever happened. He covers you and takes care of you and you feel safe in his arms.

It’s not sexual. It’s not romantic. It’s pure love. The purest love. The love of a father. And I never had that before.

But God knew I needed to experience it so He sent his child to represent Him and my Pastor became a true example, in my life, of the love of God.

I adore Pastor. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Remember being all young and hopeful about the prospect of true love? Funny how I used to go to bed early just to listen to Freddy Cruz on Hot 105 in Miami, talk in his deep sexy voice as I made myself cry thinking about my true love out there. I was hoping he was thinking about me too.

Remember this?

{Verse 1}

I don’t know what it is that you’ve done to me…

but it’s caused me to act in such a crazy way.

Whatever it is that you do when you do what you’re doing…

it’s a feeling I don’t understand.

{Bridge}

‘Cause my heart starts beating triple time,

with thoughts of loving you on my mind.

I can’t figure out just what to do,

when the cause and cure is you.

{Chorus}

I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak.

I lose all control and something takes over me.

In a daze and it’s so amazing, it’s not a phase.

I want you to stay with me, by my side.

I swallow my pride, your love is so sweet.

It knocks me right off of my feet.

I can’t explain why your loving makes me weak.

{Verse 2}

It’s Time after time after time I’ve tried to fight it.

But your love is strong it keeps on holding on.

Resistance is down when you’re around, starts fading.

In my condition I don’t want to be alone.

{Bridge}

{Chorus}

{Verse 3}

I try hard to fight it.

No way can I deny it.

Your love’s so sweet.

It knocks me off my feet.

{Chorus}

I get so weak…

Blood starts racing through my veins

I get so weak…

Boy it’s something I can’t explain.

I get so weak…

Something ’bout the way you do

the things you do ooh ooh, it…

knocks me right off of my feet,

off of my feet.

Can’t explain why your loving makes me weak.

{Chorus}

SWV- Weak

Ahh…those were the days.

You guys… I know I told you that I would tell you the story about how my friend Mimi got engaged without dating but I just can’t get it to flow from my finger tips.

Mimi is my girl. My big sister. My role model. My friend. I love her to death and I can’t believe that I am having such a hard time dealing with the fact that she is getting married this year. I literally get depressed when I think about it. My heart aches.

I’m not jealous. I want her to be happy, she deserves that but I feel like I’m losing her. It brings tears to my eyes even now.

And everything is changing so fast for everyone. Racole is going to California. Kenya and Kwame are settled in Brooklyn. Marsha and Anna are in Miami. Tamara just started a job in Tally. It seems like everyone is moving on and doing their thing and I’m standing in the middle of the road, waving goodbye to everyone and going back to my little apartment.

I know I need to grow up and let go and focus on my future. But the future is so uncertain and my present is so uncomfortable and not even remotely as comforting as the past.

Mimi is getting married in October. The last constant I had in my life is going away.

Why do my sons torment me?

They won’t eat nothing I cook for them. I get all excited while I am in the kitchen. I feel like a real Mama taking care of her babies, cooking up a meal to nourish my seed. You know, handling bitnezz . I put the food on the table and they run up to the table and sit down.

Solomon, my 1-year-old, starts grabbing and stuffing, Sai, my 3-year-old, looks at it, turns the plate sideways and says, “Mama, I dont like this dinner.”

I ignore him and go back to the kitchen to get their drinks and when I come back I am greeted with, “I don’t like some of these. I dont like it.”

He says it over and over until I am about to get upset.

EAT THAT FOOD! I say in a stern voice.

He whimpers and I walk away. When I come back he has pushed his plate over to Solomon and Solomon is happily grubbing.

I once asked my old covenant group leader, Dr. Colon, “Why won’t my kids eat my food?” and he replied, “Maybe you need to learn how to cook.”

Wahhhhhh!

I know how to cook.

Last night I was talking to my bestfriend and I was excited about my vision for my life and sharing with her the things I hope to accomplish. I shared with her my uncertainty about how I was going to achieve my goals, being that I can not pursue my dreams relentlessly because I have a responsibility to my family. I can’t just pick up and move. I can’t just fly all over the US, chasing opportunities and hoping for a break. Whether or not my current job has anything to do with my vision for my life, I have to stay. I have to pay the bills.

I’m such a doer. I’m such a goer. I always believed that if I worked hard enough, if I put myself out there, If I could just get my hands dirty, I could make something happen. So, having this grand vision and not being able to do anything about it has really been getting to me.

But then I remembered Joseph from the Bible, he also had a vision. As he sat in his pit and looked at his circumstances, I’m sure he couldn’t imagine how that vision would ever come to pass. Even when he was thrown in jail he probably sat confused, thinking, “God, how could you give me such a vision and then allow me to end up here?”

While I know that God did not create my circumstances, I know that He is well able to guide me fully into my heart’s desire. That is what brings me joy. Even though I can’t touch my dreams, I can’t see how they are going to happen and there’s nothing more that I can do on my own to help make them become a reality, I smile because I have a promise. I smile because a promise from God is not to be taken lightly. A promise from God is a done deal.

I am overwhelmed because I realize this. I’m come such a long way to be standing on His word, instead of feeling sorry for myself and being miserable everyday. It’s incredible when you see your own growth. I find my joy in His promise to me, regardless of what today looks like.

Part II

When my bestfriend, Anna and I get on the phone, it’s usually a marathon. We encourage each other in our walks with God, we talk about how we want to raise our children and we also dream together. Last night I said to her, “Anna, what is your vision for yourself? When you think about your future and you see yourself as successful and happy, what are you doing?”

She thought about it for a moment and replied, “I want to get my Master’s degree and become a good teacher and be happy teaching and in the future counsel young women. I think what these young girls are missing is a person who is willing to be honest with them about growing up. Everyone is always out to try to make themselves look like they never did any wrong. These girls don’t need that because when they do mess up, they won’t ask anyone for guidance because they think they’ll be judged and condemned.”

Because I know my bestfriend very well I gently prodded her for her true thoughts, “What about a family? When I think of success I think of having a family.” She caught her breath and sighed. “Honestly, Tee, when you first asked me that question, the first thing I thought about was being a wife. But I didn’t want to say that aloud.”

I began to encourage her because like so many others she was afraid to admit that what mattered most to her was being loved and appreciated. We tend to hide behind the façade of success as we chase six-figures and fame, but to most this is just a cover-up for what they really want. Underneath all the bling bling and finer things, everyone wants to be loved.

Don’t be afraid to admit that. If the purest desire in your heart is to be a wife, husband or parent that is just as honorable as being a CEO. No, your vision may not be to impact the world, but just imagine what that child you will produce will do. You could be the vessel for the next great leader. You could be the gateway for the person to cure a disease or save millions of lives. Your child will be the love of someone’s life someday. That is why your heart is so passionate for family. That child you will one day carry needs a parent just like you. That child needs a parent who is dedicated to training him up in a Godly home with righteous parents.

Your love, attention and devotion will be just the right soil for him to blossom into what God is calling him to do. Don’t be ashamed of your calling. It is just as important as the next persons. If you are called to be a parent, that is an amazing responsibility and blessing. If what you desire most is to have a family and live right before God, that is okay. Don’t be afraid to admit that you want to be loved. That is why God sent His son for us. He wanted to show His love, because He knew we needed it.

Much Love,

PS- I may not be perfect, but I am still standing.

Life got you feeling down? Feeling like you’re stuck in a rut in your relationship with God? Allow me to pass on a tip that my Pastor gave me that changed my outlook on my life.

When I was feeling pretty low about my job situation, my Pastor challenged me about the quality of my time spent with God. I realized that I spent more time complaining to God and asking Him why I was in such a miserable state than I spent praising Him and meditating on His promises for my life. My Pastor suggested that I dedicate my first and my best time to God, early in the morning. So now, I try to wake up earlier to do my reading and meditate on Him so that when obstacles come my way throughout the day, I am so filled with Christ’s Word, that when I open my mouth, Christ-like reactions pour out of me.

Remember when I was having that messy situation with my co-worker at work? Whenever someone reads my weblog or hears about that situation, they immediately ask me how in the world did I stay so calm and not go off like I used to do. It wasn’t anything I did. It was totally the word in me that kept me calm.

Increase your level of quality time with God and watch your day take on a new outlook. If you spend time focusing on where God has brought you from, instead of the mountain you now face, you will rejoice more and your light will shine brighter.

I also suggest a self-check. There’s nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back every now and then. Write down where you were just a few years ago. Note your attitude about life, the way you handled things and the struggles you were going through. Then think about what how differently you handle things now. If you have been faithful to hear and obey God’s word, I promise that you will find that you are a better person now than you have ever been.

Eat a cookie. You deserve it!

Since I have been working I have been through it, emotionally, mentally and physically. I must admit, I do not enjoy what I do, but I think it is because I had such high expectations of myself when I was in school. I really expected to be working in the field of communications, enjoying learning and growing into the great communicator that I want to be.

So when I started as a medical research program assistant, I was floored. It wasn’t my gifting. It wasn’t what I was passionate about. It wasn’t anything I was interested in, in fact, it made me very sleepy just thinking about it. I didn’t know what to do with all of these emotions. I was disappointed in myself. I figured that college must have been a waste of time because here I am working in a JOB and not starting a career.

I sulked and I was angry and my body ached because it was used to getting a good nap in everyday. I became frustrated with my sons because they were still as eager to play as ever and I didn’t have the energy to comply.

I would talk to my Pastor, talk to my friends but I still couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do. My Pastor said since I had a family, I couldn’t be selfish and quit. My sons needed me working to provide for them and any opportunity I had to work, I couldn’t pass up. Not like the single folks I know. Most everyone quit their first jobs out of college because they did not like it. I can’t quit.

I really let the work situation get to me. I wasn’t interested. I wasn’t motivated. I wasn’t a good employee. I wasn’t the type of employee I would want working in my company. I did the bare minimum, never asking a question about anything they did because I didn’t care. The whole set-up bored me and with all the strict guidelines and eagle-eyed co-workers who snitched, I felt like I was in prison for 8 hours a day.

And then came the light. I got that good word from my Pastor about intensifying my quality time with God. I tried it and it worked. I wasn’t miserable anymore. I still didn’t like my job, but at least I didn’t dread going there.

My only problem was, I finished my work too quickly. I couldn’t help it. I wanted that mess to be over as soon as possible. I was used to being able to do what I needed to do. As k if there was anything else that needed to be done, then working on my own projects. Not here.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with myself after I finished my work. I couldn’t chat. I couldn’t email. I couldn’t make any personal calls. What was I supposed to do? And when my director called me into his office and told me that he didn’t want me to leave the campus for lunch anymore, that I couldn’t go home for lunch, I almost died. That was my one time to get away from that place.

I sucked it up and was obedient. I just sat in my car during lunch and listened to music.

All this time I wondered what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I find a job that I enjoyed? I didn’t even want a good paying job. I just wanted a job that interested me. And I thought that something was wrong with me because everyone kept telling me, “You should be grateful, some people don’t even have a job. And you’re making good money.”

I felt so ashamed. I felt so horrible for not being more grateful. I figured that God was certainly not proud of me.

When a friend of mine admitted she was in a similar situation, I called up my old highschool mentor Traci for some workplace advice. Traci is a global marketing research coordinator for Proctor and Gamble at their headquarters in Cincinnatti. She and I met when I was 16 years old. She was my supervisor at a black Engineering firm in Miami. I was a receptionist and this was my very first job. I don’t really remember what she did, but I knew that was her first job out of college.

When she hired me, I immediately liked her. We became friends of sort. I considered her to be the big sister I never had and we would hang out all of the time. Even when she moved back to her hometown of Cincinnati, I would visit her and keep in touch.

Traci encouraged me and gave me some tips on how to make the most of your time at work. When I told her that I was bored, she said, “Ofcourse you’re bored. You’re smarter than that. You aren’t being challenged. But you have to challenge yourself. If they give you some task to do and it takes you five minutes, do it in ten minutes, take your time. And when you’re done, ask yourself, what could make this better? Do something extra to every task they give you to improve it. This shows initiative.”

She also told me, “If you’re ever sitting there bored, without a clue what to do. Make something up! Find a form and try to recreate it using the different publishing programs on your computer. If you have programs that you don’t know, play around with them until you learn them. And ALWAYS keep a list of questions about the company/your project/the business handy to ask your supervisor if you ever feel like someone is going to ask what you are up to. It shows that you are interested and you want to learn more, even if you don’t.”

As far as dealing with people in the workplace, Traci says, “They all have gray faces. If I allow them to be in color then I risk letting their many erratic emotions affect me. As long as you perform, they will never get rid of you. Look at me. I started at P&G in some little administrative position. I just wanted a little gig so that I could plan my wedding and not be pressured by work. A year later, I was about to quit and they promoted me because they liked how I worked. The year after that I was bored by my new position and I was about to leave and they promoted me again. I’ve gone through 4 bands/levels and its only been 6 years. If you perform beyond their expectations, then they will be impressed.”

I’m actually starting to get excited because I remember that there is a MS Publishing Program on my computer at work that I drooled over when I saw it. It wasn’t a part of my job description so I never used it before. So today at work, I opened that bad boy up and fell in love.

This is what I went to school for!

I spent all day creating this newsletter called ‘The Assistant.’ I wrote stories about all of the things that I do as a program assistant. It’s actually written for the next person who will take this job when I leave. He, he… Ain’t I slick? I wrote copy, found images, and designed the whole thing. It has 8 stories, graphics and it is 4 pages long. I realized that this is what I would love to be doing.

I would love to be working in communications or media relations. Writing stories, creating newsletters, making presentations, publishing and talking to people.

But until that dream job comes along, I have to make sure that I do a little better on my job. Pray a little harder. Improve my attitude, because my job experience is really what I make it.