Ok.. So I just finished doing 3 hours worth of interviews for my SL Blog.
I PROMISE you, I enjoy doing this so much that it actually makes me want to cry just thinking about all that I’m learning and the fact that I get to be the first person to put together a professional representation and record of the Black Community in SL.
Every person I meet and talk with about my project thanks me profusely for doing this and they say they wish they had done it but wanted it so badly. It feels great to be able to fill a need for an entire community.
That’s what makes my writing worthwhile. Those emails that come in and say, “I’m reading and I thank you for speaking for me and to me.”
Ya’ll. That’s why I do this. That’s why I do this for free. The payment I get is…when someone else feels validated because their work or their story has been recognized.
I feel so grateful to be me right now. I know I’m not where I should be, or could be or where my Mama wants me to be, but shit..my sons are great, I’m well fed, safe and happy. I get to do my thang on the internet AND I get to go to school to learn how to help myself and others have better relationships.
~shakes head~
I’m pretty grateful right now.
I went out on a date tonight. I didn’t want to go at first. I met this man about a week ago at the grocery store. There is nothing about him that appeals to me. He looks like every other bald headed, dark skinned dude in his late 30’s that runs after me. But he calls and he’s so respectful and sweet. I never am excited to hear from him. I guess that’s the INNER ME screaming, “Please don’t let him be the only man who is nice to me.”
He’s been asking to take me out everyday and tonight I finally said okay. I didn’t let him pick me up, I told him I’d meet him at the movies. We met there and I was kinda mean, I didn’t smile at him or anything which I could tell made him uncomfortable.
To be polite I asked him what he does for a living and he said, “I’m a cameraman for channel **”. I shook my head. It’s the same station I “interned” for when I first came back to Miami. So I started naming other writers and producers there and he was shocked. I told him that I was a student but I didnt tell him that I was a journalist.
“Next time you want to stop by, let me know and I’ll introduce you around again,” he said.
“Sure, how about Monday.” I replied. “I need a job.”
We chatted a little during the movie and I felt more comfortable with him, but still not attracted to him. After the movie I told him thanks for inviting me and he said he enjoyed himself and we walked away, no big deal.
It wasn’t so bad.
I hope he never tries to touch me.
Ok..Ok..back to my writing. Being a writer is a lonely world. You sit and you think and you write.
That’s it.
I wish..hugging was a part of that process too.
I really need one.