Yeah so…

Well, I’m back from mini “ghetto” vacation.

You knowwhat that is– when you take a couple of vacation days in conjunction with a holiday and a weekend and manage to get 5 days in a row off. But ofcourse you don’t really VACATE, you stay your ass home and do absolutely nothing (because you can’t afford a REAL trip) but instead you play around online and call all of your friends at work and laugh at them because they’re at work and you’re not.

Yeah. That’s what I did last week.

I haven’t been to work since I left at midday the day I went to see Kanye in concert. I didn’t do anything really. I still had to wake up extra early to take my sons to school, and it was too close to the 15th (payday) so I didn’t have any money to go anywhere but I’m going to tell you I am so well rested. I took LONG naps everyday. I borrowed my Mama’s video camera and make videos of myself laying around. Did I do laundry? Hmm… I’m sure I did or else I wouldn’t have any underwear to wear.

Last week I also had my SECOND child support/custody hearing with my Baby Daddy. Yes, that man is STILL suing me for custody. ~shrugs~ He’s obviously trying to prove a point to himself because there’s no way that he can prove I’m an unfit mother unless he makes some shit up. I’m good to my kids and I don’t stress him, he’s lucky to have me as the mother of his children. He just doesn’t realize it yet. I think the thing that scares him the most is the thought of me getting child support from him. He acts like he would just DIE if I ever got took a nickel of his money and spent it on something that would improve my quality of life.

That’s the only reason he’s going for custody. He calls me a golddigger but dammit, he ain’t never had any gold to dig. I never got a quarter from him while we were together. Obviously I wasn’t there for the money. If anything, all he can call me is an “Investor”. he..he…

The good thing that came out of the hearing is the judge has transferred our case down here to Miami so I won’t have to attend the hearings telephonically anymore due to the fact that I can’t afford to drive/take the bus up to Gainesville where I case was started.

All I have to say is…karma. Karma.

I live by that rule. I think everyone should.

I know everyone thinks I’m in love with Kanye. Lemme set the record straight, I’m not. I admire him. I love the experience that comes with listening to his songs. Did you catch him on Saturday night live a few weeks ago? He was rapping with some white guy over some different ass beat and I’m sitting there and I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.

That is how I feel when I listen to his music. I don’t feel like I’m simply hearing the song, I FEEL the song. Whatever. I’m not a groupie. I don’t wanna hunch him, unlike Val swears I do. From one artist to another I have much respect. After all, he is a MAN. And you know what they are capable of.

My Baby Daddy sent me an email and part of it explained that he wanted our son, who is in kindergarten, to FEAR report card time. WTF? I disagree. I have told my son that report card time is time to celebrate all the hard work he’s done so far in school. I told him that I’m excited to see the result of his effort and I am already proud that he’s learning and I know he’s going to do great.

Call me simple, call me a wuss, but I believe in positive affirmations. I affirm my children everyday, all day. When they need to be punished, I don’t really have to hit them, I just stop affirming them and they miss me telling them how wonderful and special they are. When they don’t hear me praising them, they KNOW they have done something wrong and I can see the sadness in their eyes and they apologize profusely.

I’m doing alright. For the first time in my life I’m considering going on a diet, just so I can say I’m going on a diet. The only guaranteed way to lose weight is —DON’T EAT! That’s how I lose weight. I’m lazy as hell. I’m not going to exercise. I barely eat well. My weight fluctuates due to how much socializing I’m doing. If I socialize a lot I eat more. If I’m not really hanging out with anyone, I pretty much eat cereal.

Yeah I know, I need to take better care of my body.

Ya’ll not gonna believe this but last night I had a dream that was crazy. I was making out with a..a….a white man.

I’m not even gonna comment further.

I have decided to grow out my hair. Well, my barber/brother inspired this decision because he moved to South Miami and now I can’t get anymore free cuts. So I’ve just been dieing my hair and letting it go. We’ll see what happens to it as it becomes a low frow again. Although you know I have a long way to go since I usually cut my hair to the nitty gritty.

Many blessings to you on your journey to discover your purpose in life. We’re in the same boat. Don’t be discouraged if you find that you’re not as good as you thought you were. Like I tell my sons, try again or try it a different way. As long as you don’t give up- you already won.