A Wireless Reunion

budeelicious81: DON’T IGNORE MEEEEEE!!!!!!
budeelicious81: BUZZ!!!
budeelicious81: lol
Ms.Tee: hey!
Ms.Tee: its been a long time!
budeelicious81: I knowwwww
budeelicious81: how are ya?
Ms.Tee: i miss my internet buddy!
Ms.Tee: so whats up with u?
budeelicious81: nothing at all
budeelicious81: chillin
budeelicious81: been home doing nothing
budeelicious81: ever since school ended
budeelicious81: and before work starts
Ms.Tee: where u workin now?
budeelicious81: gonna work at a hospital
budeelicious81: I just graduated… remember
Ms.Tee: yep
Ms.Tee: u ready for the real deal?
budeelicious81: ready for the real money
budeelicious81: I know that much!
Ms.Tee: thats real!
Ms.Tee: have u caught up on my blog? i dont wanna keep retelling stories.lol
budeelicious81: yeah. i have nothing else to do but read blogs all day. lol
Ms.Tee: i caught up on yrs last night
budeelicious81: the 100 list was good
budeelicious81: oh yeah? wow!
Ms.Tee: girl i cant wait to meet u and have some fun
budeelicious81: i know right!
Ms.Tee: r u seeking first the kingdom of God?
budeelicious81: wat made u ask that?
Ms.Tee: cuz i think i think about that too much? like im over focused on it
Ms.Tee: sometimes i wonder if its relly that SERIOUS!
budeelicious81: it is that serious
budeelicious81: i’m not as focused right now as i could be…
budeelicious81: but i go thru phases
Ms.Tee: sometimes i wonder if I hold myself to a higher standard than most
Ms.Tee: do u fell when u lose focus u can miss yr blessings?
Ms.Tee: do u believe blessings are conditional?
Ms.Tee: i know this isnt a light convo
Ms.Tee: so ignore me if u want to
budeelicious81: nah. even when i’m not focused, i’m blessed
Ms.Tee: ure so free and easy, i wish i could be more like that
budeelicious81: I don’t think blessings are conditional
budeelicious81: everyone gets blessed
budeelicious81: even those who may not believe in God or know him
budeelicious81: they may attribute their blessing to something else like “coincidence” or “luck”
budeelicious81: but they get blessed too
Ms.Tee: do u think we can miss God if we diligently seek Him?
budeelicious81: can miss Him? not at all
Ms.Tee: u go thru blah days btut never really dark times, is it because u don’t perceive the blah days as dark times, or do u believe u r just blessed NOT to have dark times?
Ms.Tee: this feels like an interview
budeelicious81: ummmm… I think it’s all perspective
budeelicious81: Of course I have blah days, but more often than not, I refuse to stay down
budeelicious81: so the blah days aren’t prolonged…and I’m not lead into “dark times” which to me is a longer period of time
budeelicious81: like I always say…
budeelicious81: there’s gonna be good times and bad times, so I can’t expect things to be all peachy all the time
budeelicious81: so when things are “down” it’s kind of expected
budeelicious81: it’s the way of the world
Ms.Tee: uve been reading me for some years now..do u see an evolution in me? cuz i feel it. i just dont know how pronounced it is
budeelicious81: yes and no
Ms.Tee: my perception of myself/love for myself has improved dramatically i think
budeelicious81: yeahhhh!!! definitely!!!!especiall the last few posts I read I was like wow!
Ms.Tee: i see that my love for God and desie to develop a lasting relationship with him has improved
Ms.Tee: otherwise i am starting to think for myself more and question myself more
budeelicious81: but your self-worth has gone up in your eyes in my opinion
Ms.Tee: yes i dont know why
Ms.Tee: but i believe i deserve the BEST
Ms.Tee: its funny ciz i believe this even though riht now i dont have the best
Ms.Tee: in fact, materially speaking i am at my lowest point
budeelicious81: I guess the main thing for me was you turning down sex multiple times and wanting to wait
Ms.Tee: lol
Ms.Tee: shut up!
budeelicious81: I’m serious
Ms.Tee: i forgot about that
budeelicious81: you used to be like yeah..I had sex with him, didn’t want to, but I just did
Ms.Tee: lol
budeelicious81: now you’re like oh uh uh… he’s not worth this and I’m waiting for my husband
Ms.Tee: exactly
budeelicious81: and it disgusted me to even think of that with him!
Ms.Tee: it does
budeelicious81: *clapping*
Ms.Tee: lol
Ms.Tee: shut up
budeelicious81: I’m glad you got to this point
budeelicious81: so serious
budeelicious81: like your whole self-esteem just went through the roof
budeelicious81: question tho….
budeelicious81: how come you don’t read the Bible anymore?
budeelicious81: I was a bit confused by that
Ms.Tee: theres no specific reason
Ms.Tee: i didnt quit it or disagree with it
budeelicious81: oh
Ms.Tee: i just havent read it in a long time
budeelicious81: gotcha
Ms.Tee: and it came to me when i was writing the list
Ms.Tee: so i added it
budeelicious81: thought you were against it
Ms.Tee: it does sound like, I aint with that anymore
budeelicious81: yeah
Ms.Tee: i think my friends turn me off from reading the bible honestly
budeelicious81: yeah?
budeelicious81: how so?
Ms.Tee: they like to ht me over the head with it
budeelicious81: I see
Ms.Tee: not like im doing wrong or anything
budeelicious81: right
Ms.Tee: but i guess im associating the bible with how they act
Ms.Tee: and it annoys me
budeelicious81: I have a friend like that too
Ms.Tee: its inspirational and life saving to me
Ms.Tee: lots of good stuff in there
budeelicious81: yeah definitely
Ms.Tee: i havent found anything i disgaree with
Ms.Tee: i think its just
budeelicious81: lol
Ms.Tee: that ppl use it to foster unnaceptance
Ms.Tee: and im not interested in using it as a tool to damn someone to hell
budeelicious81: very true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
budeelicious81: but for your own personal use
Ms.Tee: its like a life raft and a shot gun
budeelicious81: LOL
budeelicious81: that’s funny
Ms.Tee: thats how i feel
Ms.Tee: TO HELL!
Ms.Tee: ughhh
Ms.Tee: THE BIBLE SAY!
budeelicious81: honestly….
budeelicious81: I think a lot of the people who use it to point out the wrong in others are still trying to prove to themselves that they’re doing something right…
budeelicious81: it’s like putting someone down brings up their self esteem
Ms.Tee: its like…why do u have to point out whats wrong with someone else’s life?
Ms.Tee: do u HONESTLY feel lke their soul is your burden or do you want to be right? JUDGE YOURSELF!
budeelicious81: I think your expression of how much you love God and your actions are lining up more
budeelicious81: that’s what it is
Ms.Tee: hmm..interesting observation
budeelicious81: lol
Ms.Tee: well then u make me question
Ms.Tee: why cant my love for God be absolute regardless of my actions?
budeelicious81: because if you love God and are committed to Him, your actions would be more righteous
budeelicious81: of course people are doing to sin and make mistakes blah blah blah…
budeelicious81: but I think after while of messin up and doing things your way, you come to a point where you realized that your way is not the way…
budeelicious81: and that you do have to change the way you do things, change the way you say things and just change in general
budeelicious81: it’s not like a BAM! I love God, so I’m gonna be perfect…. people take time to grow and God is constantly working on us to better us
budeelicious81: and God’s not gonna leave you all messed up if you’re truly into Him
Ms.Tee: but what is righteousness? how do u define it? who defines it? why wasn’t I righteous before?
budeelicious81: lol
Ms.Tee: serious
Ms.Tee: just because i stopped having secks, im righteous?
budeelicious81: I would think that the Bible defines it. Maybe not in one word or one definition, but just everyting it speaks about
budeelicious81: no, has nothing to do with sex
budeelicious81: well, not nothing
budeelicious81: but that’s not the main thing
budeelicious81: I definitely don’t have all the answers tho
budeelicious81: but the Bible does
budeelicious81: what do youuuu think?
Ms.Tee: um…
Ms.Tee: we have an inherant ability to decifer right from wrong although at times i believe right and wrong can have a cultural definition
Ms.Tee: according to your belief system, righteousness is formed and once u have your set of rules for righteousness, u can decided to abide or not
Ms.Tee: for the young black woman, nothing is wrong with having a baby out of wedlock, its culturally acceptable and normal, but not for everyone else or strictly religious families
budeelicious81: I think righteousness is living a life that is pleasing to God, not a set of rules that we must abide by…
Ms.Tee: so then u say we please God how? by adhering to the rules in the Bible?
budeelicious81: there were rules in the past and people thought that that was the way to Heaven and God and everything good, but Jesus came and I believe that he is the way…
budeelicious81: and only by believing in him are we saved…
budeelicious81: I think the Bible is a guide for life, and an expression of how much God loves us and also teaches us about the ways of God and the life of Jesus…
budeelicious81: I think Jesus is the perfect example of righteousness because he was without sin…
budeelicious81: ultimately having a person relationship with Jesus and knowing him and not just of him is what matters the most
Ms.Tee: i forgot what my original question was
budeelicious81: lol
budeelicious81: I forgot too
budeelicious81: you said that materially you’re prob at your lowest…
budeelicious81: but you’re not even stressin it
budeelicious81: you know He’s gonna take care of you
Ms.Tee: uh..yeah…im not STRESSING…but i am impatient and my back hurts a lot from sleeping on the floor- lol
budeelicious81: you have a positive outlook on your whole journey through Texas
Ms.Tee: wow..i do..i guess…
budeelicious81: I know, but He’s not gonna leave you out there like that
Ms.Tee: thanks i needed to hear that, though I already knew it..i just need to HEAR it
budeelicious81: and you know that there’s every more to come
budeelicious81: and the fact that you truly believe that is a dramatic change in you
budeelicious81: you never used to write stuff like that
budeelicious81: you know He’s setting you up for something GREAT!!!!
Ms.Tee: thank u for this convo, i lose focus on the promise sometimes
budeelicious81: doesn’t sound like it when I read your blog
Ms.Tee: im not always as positive as I seem
budeelicious81: you sound pretty focused to me
Ms.Tee: lol
budeelicious81: well we’re all allowed blah moments and blah days, but at the end of the day you know He got you!
Ms.Tee: THANK YOU!
Ms.Tee: cuz i have faith but this floor is hard…but ill tell u, i aint NEVER had ramen noodles as good as the ones i ate tonight! I felt like i was at a 5 star restaurant!
budeelicious81: lol
budeelicious81: funny stuff
budeelicious81: it’s only a matter of time
budeelicious81: His time tho… and not ours
Ms.Tee: u r a blessing!
budeelicious81: u too boo!