Where Are My Perfect Matches?

The ladies I work with are so funny to me! I like working with them for a lot of reasons, number one they are caretakers and help a lot at work. They are funny and cute and make me laugh. The best thing is, they are not pushy about hanging out outside of work although I wouldn’t mind, just to see what it’s like.

They don’t seem insecure. You can tell insecure women off the bat by how they criticize you for every little thing and are rude to you when you haven’t done anything to hurt them.

I love that no one from work has added me to their facebook yet. Yay!

No one has stalked me on the internet that I know of yet. No one is that interested in my personal life or questions me about what I do outside of work. During my first week one lady did and I nipped that in the bud and now she only says hello and goodbye.

It’s not that I’m a private person at all its just, I don’t ask personal questions about anything to anyone and I appreciate the same in return. I felt so good about my co workers that I actually invited a couple of them to my house to hang out, that is, until I got home and thought about what I did and then started remembering how I can’t socialize and my anxiety started flaring up and I had to cancel. I couldn’t relax until I canceled, my anxiety wouldn’t let me.

I just, don’t want to hear negative stories and complaints all the time. I don’t like to gossip negatively. I hate listening to it. But really, I don’t want people’s negative habits to rub off on me. That is how I started smoking cigarettes, hanging out with people from work. Now I don’t even talk to any of them anymore but the bad habit remains.

I want to be around people with GOOD habits so even when we are no longer in contact those behaviors will remain. Like, I have two sorority sisters who still live in our college town. They do cool stuff like run marathons and body building and they earn extra money by teaching dance classes and exercise classes. Why can’t I meet people who love to talk about how they are achieving their goals and setting new ones? I’d love to meet and talk strategy and celebrate successful events and accomplished goals over bottles of wine as we talk shit about how awesome we are. LOL

“I’m the shit!”

“No, I’M the shit!”

“Yes, you are girl!”

“No, WE are!”

“That’s right hoe!” LOL

Like, with my next venture. I’m doing the research and about to set a date for my first event. BUT- there’s no one I can talk to about how to do this or how to organize it and there’s no one I know who would even care to LISTEN to me talk about this kind of thing. People always ask me, “Are you talking to yourself?” Yes, I do. I have to. No one I know is into what I’m into. I have to figure it out all by myself, do the technical grunt work, organize it, do the administrative work, market it and facilitate it.

I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m scared that it won’t work out. I’m scared that I won’t do a good job. I’m scared that no one will participate. I have a general idea and I’m going to do it to the best of my ability but I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m still going to do it anyway.

I’m so excited! I just wish I had someone to share it with who would celebrate with me sincerely.