What Dreams May Come
I called my girl Kim to check up on her this weekend.
“What’s up girl?” I asked.
“Girl, I’m about to do something that I can’t tell you about for another hour.”
“Tell me now.”
“No, because I know you will try to talk me out of it.”
“Well, then that must mean it’s wrong. I only talk you out of doing things that are immoral and hurtful to others. If you KNOW it’s wrong then don’t do it!”
“Naw, it’s not like that. It’s just, you’re gonna say it’s not time.”
“Aiight, call me later then.”
A few hours later my phone rings.
“What’s up chick?” I answer.
“Girl! You will not believe what I just did. I just drove off the lot in my brand new 2006 BMW!”
I sit up straight. “Huh?” My heart flutters a bit.
“That’s right girl, I got it! My dream car. I’m driving it home right now!”
“Stop playin!”
“I’m not playin Tee. It’s so surreal. I don’t believe it.”
“Stop playin…”
“I’m serious girl.”
“Damn, my car broke down yesterday. My sister and her boyfriend are taking it to get checked out and you are now driving a BRAND NEW BEEMER! DAMN!!!””
She laughs, “Aww Tee! I can’t believe it! People are staring me down. It feels so weird.”
“Dammmnnn!” I squeak out, imaging my friend in her new car , all leathered out. “Ok, now you have to get two really nice pairs of shades. Keep one in your car and the other in your bag. At no point do you walk outside without your shades from now on. And at no point can you drive your car without wearing them.”
She laughs. “You’re right dawg. I’ll handle that.”
Wow. Kim has been talking about getting this car FOREVER. Less than two years ago she bought a brand new Mazda but even as she drove it off the lot and called me to share the good news she said, “Next car I get will be my new Beemer baby!”
~exhale~
A dream realized.
It feels so nice.
See, both Kim and I have these fantasies of living lavish and fabulous. But on the real, the heart of my desire to live lovely is not materialism or wanting people to envy me.
I’m not a chick that wears designer clothes or expensive jewelry. I shop at Target a lot. I like Forever 21. I like JCPenney. As long as it flatters my body type and it’s not too revealing I’ll get it. I don’t even have a dream car. I just know I want a driver cuz I’m lazy. I don’t need diamonds and all that jazz but the one thing I will go ape crazy spending money on is my home.
I spend a lot of time at home. I’m a homebody. A perfect evening to me is a drink, some nice company and my couch. I hope to be able to make my house as comfortable as possible with my personal favorite, a big screen monitor for my computer. ~drooling~ I’d like to get a plasma TV and hook it up to my PC so I can dive into the internet like I’ve always wanted to.
I love coming home everyday and I always want to feel like that. Besides the desire to make my home comfy and unique I really have all these dreams of lavish living because I just want to see if I can do it.
It’s like a challenge for me.
There are plenty of people in this world with nice homes and money to pass on to their children. I want to be one of them. I am going to be a philanthropist and offer several deserving young people the opportunity to be personally mentored by me from middle school and beyond.
If others can do it, why can’t I?
I just want to see if a small time chick from Liberty City could exceed all expectations and make it happen.
You know, despite the recent setbacks and disappointments, I know it’s all a set up for success. And even though I cry and get frustrated, I know I’m being purged and strengthened for my journey.