Time to Refocus

“Hey, this is Ms. Tee.”

“I know, what do you need?”

“My car broke down. It’s on the side of the road. My sister came to pick up me and the boys but we can’t get the car to start. You know I don’t have any money.”

“Ok, what do you want me to do?”

“Get my car fixed.”

“Why should I? I don’t call you for help when I need my car fixed.”

“But I have to take OUR children to school everyday.”

“Look, I’ll find a bus service for the little one starting Monday. If you can’t find rides for the next two days then that means you’re not trying. Other than that I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, it’s YOUR car, it has nothing to do with me.”

Click…

I call him back.

“Did you just hang up on me?”

“Yes, I hung up on you because I can’t hear you and I’m working. I don’t have time for this.”

“But how am I supposed to get the boys to school and from school with no car? How am I supposed to get the car towed or fixed with no money?”

“That’s not my problem, it’s your car. You figure it out. I’m WORKING. Don’t you understand that?”

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My sister says I must love the way he talks to me because if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t call him. I sometimes wonder if I’m simply too sensitive to his words. I second guess myself all the time when it comes to him. I try not to blame him for how he treats me. I know I’m sensitive, I know I get hurt easily so I try to make myself believe that it’s my fault for getting hurt by him. Or that I deserve it because I should have my shit together. If I could do it all by myself, I wouldn’t have to ask him for anything. I know he’d be happier that way. I would too.

Funny how, I’ve stopped receiving child support. Yep, No more $85 checks every two weeks. I questioned him about it and he said it’s not up to him. He says someone wrote a letter to his office saying that his wages would no longer be garnished. Huh? Our case is still tied up in court.

Sooooo…that is why he came to me a couple of weeks ago saying he would try to give me more money. I thought he was beginning to understand that it was hard for me but it wasn’t that. He knew that he didn’t have to give me money anymore so he decided to be nice and send me the money on his own. He even gave me a raise. Instead of $170 a month,which is the amount he’s been paying for the past 4 years, he promised I’d get $300 a month. How nice of him. Very nice considering my younger son’s daycare is $250 a month.

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“Mommy, why don’t you call the big truck and tell them to come get your car and take it away?Then you can get a new car like my Daddy.”

I laugh. “Well Boo Boo, Mommy doesn’t have the money for a new car, but don’t worry I’ll figure it out.”

“Well why don’t you call my Daddy and tell him to buy you a new car?”

I chuckle. “Um, yeah, how about next time you talk to him, you tell him that? Ok, Boo Boo?”

I laugh and shake my head. Funny!

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You get no results when you turn to the wrong person for help.