He Never Fails Me

I’ll admit it, I was a bit shook.

The first person I turn to in my time of need always turns coldly away from me. What’s wrong with me? I continually run to the wrong person. Is it because I hope that one day he’ll be different. One day he’ll care. One day he’ll recognize my worth in his life and the lives of our children. Why am I still seeking his approval when at the end of the day, there is only one who never fails me?

I find a ride for my sons to school. Their paternal grandmother says she will drop them off but she will be too busy in the afternoon to pick them up for me. Strategy time. Who can I call? I’m sitting in my pj’s at my computer early this morning thinking.

I’ll call my sister. My faithful sister. She is such a blessing and an inspiration to me. She agrees to pick my son up from his daycare in Liberty City and I’m relieved for about 30 seconds. Hmm. My car is on the side of the road. I have no money to get it towed or fixed. What do I do?

I smile to myself- Anna. I love to brainstorm with her. I call my bestfriend Anna at work and explain the situation. She asks if I asked my Mama. No, I haven’t. My Mama already feels bad enough. Even though she won’t say it I know she hates the fact that she can’t step in and rescue me. She suggests I call my biological father for help. Negative. We go back and forth and reach a dead end. With no money, nothing’s happening. But I didn’t leave my car in a good neighborhood so I needed to get it out of there fast.

Next I call my other bestfriend Tamara. I know that between the three of us, we’d come up with a solution. I am prone to panic and exhaustion while both of them are more calm and reasonable. And Tamara always says, “No matter what sticky situation you get yourself into, you always get your miracle.” So she says she never worries about me.

I explain the situation to her. “Ok,” she says as if she’s reading from a textbook. “Call Pepboys. They tow for free. Once they get it there they can assess what’s wrong and you can get an estimate. Even if you can’t afford it, at least you got it off the street and you know what needs to be fixed.”

Bling!

I love me some Tamara!

I did just that. I had my car towed to Pepboys and went on in to work. Sometime after I was settled in I got a call from Pepboys telling me that they had received my car and they wanted my permission to run a diagnostics test. Sure, go right ahead.

An hour or two later I get another phone call. The total for a list of repairs that I honestly have no idea what they mean: $541.

“Um, so how much will it be if I can’t have my car repaired there?” I ask the guy on the phone.
“Well, we’ll just charge you for the diagnostics test. $75 plus tax.”
“Well, I’ll try to come up with the money, but I don’t think it’ll happen.”
“Call me back if you get it, if not, you can come pick up your car at any time.”

Damn. Damn. Damn.

I don’t have money like that. I allow myself a small pity party. It felt pretty good. It ended with me in the bathroom standing in front of the mirror peering dissapointedly at my bare face. I look sooo crazy without makeup, but this morning I didn’t have the impetus to apply any.

“Something is gonna happen,” I tell myself. “It has to. I can’t call their Daddy again. I can’t take his rejection one more time.”

When I get back to my desk my phone rings. It’s a co-worker, Sandee.

“Are you really at your desk? Oh my! I can’t believe it! I actually caught you!”
“Whatever!” I say with a giggle.
She laughs. “Hey Tee, I’m looking for that fax I emailed you about yesterday.”
I pause…two…three.
“Ohhh. The hotel invoice. I called them right after I saw your email and they told me they’d check the numbers and fax it this morning. I even had them put it to your attention.”
“Really? I didn’t get it.”
“Ok, I’ll call them back now and ask them to fax it again.”
“Great, oh, do you guys happen to have anymore Biscotti in your office?”
“Plenty! They’re right here.”
“Would you mind bringing me one?”
“Ofcourse not, I’ll bring them after I call the hotel and get an update on the invoice.”
“Thanks!”

After I order another invoice I check the fax machine and smirk. The fax had already been delivered. I guess she never checked it.

When I reach her office I quickly hand her the fax and place the Biscotti on her desk. I turn around quickly but I shouldn’t have. Usually I stay and chat so my abrupt departure made both Sandee and her office mate Rachel, look at me funny.

“Tee!” Rachel called out as I exited.

I walk backward and peek back in. “Sorry, I’m just so busy. What’s up?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m so tired.” I lie.
Rachel raises her eyebrow at me.
“Um,” I sigh and explain with what I thought was a hopeful expression. “You won’t believe it but my car broke down yesterday. Crazy huh? Now I’m trying to figure out how to get it fixed.”
“Well, how much does it cost to get fixed?” Sandee asks.
Damn, they nosey!
“Um, Almost $600.”
Rachel’s eyes get big. “And just before Christmas too!”
“I know,” I say and step back out the door. “But I’ll figure it out. I’ll let you know what happens.”
“Wait!” Rachel calls to me again. “Why don’t you talk to Helen (the business manager) she may be able to offer you an advance. She does that sometimes for employees when things get hectic.”
“Hmm. I’ll do it. Thanks!”

I go to Helen’s office. She’s sitting in there eating a bag of potatoe chips and staring at an Excel spreadsheet.

She turns to look at me. “What’s going on, Tee?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Well, have a seat.”
I sit.
“See, um, my car broke down and it costs $541 to fix it. I was hoping you could give me an advance on next week’s paycheck so that I could pay the mechanic.”
“Ofcourse!”
“For real?”
“Sure! We’ll make it out for $600. And instead of us taking all of the money out of your next paycheck, we’ll break the payments up. You can pay $50 a pay period until it’s all taken care of. We don’t want to ruin your Christmas!”
“Wow!”
“I’ll get the check ready for you by the end of the day.”

I walked back to my desk in disbelief. An hour later she walks in and hands me the check. I call Pepboys and talk to the guy. “Hi, I can’t believe it, but I actually came up with the money.” I tell him. “So you can go ahead and fix my car.”

“Hey! That’s cool. You know what? Let me give you another discount.” he says. “The new total is $490.”

“Thanks!” I exclaim. “When will it be ready?”

“Oh, you can pick it up by 6:00 tonight.”

“Wow!”

My little sister picks up my son from his daycare and then comes to pick me and my other son up. She even brings dinner for the boys. When we get to Pepboys I write a check and it doesn’t clear. Uh, oh. The cashier calls the manager.

“Look, the money is not in the account.” I tell him. “I have the check right here and I can’t deposit it until the morning, but I need my car.”

He looks at me. He looks at my 3 year old dancing in front of the store room window.

“Ok,” he says. “Here’s your key. Just come in as soon as you can tomorrow and pay for it.”

“THANKS!” I tell him and run out of there before he changes his mind.

I drive my sister back to her car and me and my sons ride out, IN MY CAR, less than 24 hours after it broke down.

And I didn’t have to beg Baby Daddy to get it done.

All I had to do was wait while my Father took care of everything.

Thank you so much Lord for your provision and your mercy. Thank you for all of the prayers of my readers, the kind words from my blog friends and loved ones. Thank you for being who you are to me. For taking such good care of my sons. Help me to come to you FIRST as I recognize who is really the PROVIDER in my life.

Thank you Lord!!!!