The thrill is gone…

I have no more sex drive. I dont desire sex anymore. I know it sounds weird but I realize that outside influences directly affected my desire to have sex. Since I try to cut back on sexual images and influences through tv and music I dont really think about sex anymore.

Those times in the past that i have slipped up and had sex have come from putting myself in a position of compromising what I knew I shouldnt do. Im not lonely. I dont want a man. I’m not a freak anymore, but when one is close I do what Im used to which is become intimate. Its not like Im fornicating on the regular. I can count how many times Ive had sex in the past 2 1/2 years on a few fingers, but even so, I’m not proud of the choices I made. And I have to live with the knowledge that I dissappointed God again and again.

Some friends say i am extreme in my position to never be around men. I think its just my safety net. I have to do what have to do.

Im wiser now. And so much less sexually interested than I was before. Dont worry. Ill be fine.