I just woke up. It was a food induced slumber. I love those. I love to eat, yet, when I eat meat I sleep the hardest and I don’t really feel good afterwards. If I could somehow find a way to become a vegetarian, I would. I think my son is on his way to being that and it tickles me.
Today I did lots of research about different things. Google Plus, the social sharing site, has been a treasure trove of information to me. If I could fill a bucket with the knowledge I gain from there, it would overflow. The women on there aren’t ranting about their lives or frustrations, they mostly share information, cool images and knowledge about trends in technology and I love it.
Today I read that the FDA had approved a microchip that could be implanted into humans to hold their medical records. I shook my head as old doomsday prophecies came floating back into my mind. Then I thought, “If religion was created to subdue the masses, couldn’t their interpretation of the signs of armeggadon have been misconstrued as well to incite fear?”
I mean, to me it seems incredible that thousands of years ago someone could have predicted things that are happening now, or maybe it was just that since these prophecies have been popularized we are LOOKING for them and interpret things as though they fit the prophecy.
That’s not all I’ve been thinking about. I’ve also been thinking about liars- the people who look up my blog and then pretend like they don’t read it. I can always tell who they are because their actions change toward me after reading something that they THINK is about them. I can also see the IP addresses of everyone who reads and its not difficult to find the location of the IP address. So it amazes me that people I know but don’t talk to, read often, get upset about what they read and then act like they know nothing about this.
This blog is my spot on the web. I’ve been writing it since 2003 and I won’t stop now. Ah, this feels like deja vu. I’ve written it before after a group of people at one of my jobs found my blog and were following along in secret- secretly hating me for being who I am. That puzzles me. If you don’t like the choices I make or the way I express myself or my thoughts, then why do you keep reading? I promise, I have not googled anyone I know because it’s not that important. I did that once and what I found really hurt my feelings so I’m careful not to do it again. I feel that if you want me to see something you have on the web, you’ll tell me directly, otherwise, I’m uninterested. But that’s just me.
I love that I have this spot on the web and that I’ve kept it for so long. I used to have hundreds of readers per day then I took a long break and most of them went away. I don’t mind. I write on this as though I’m talking to my best friend. What’s crazy is, I absolutely HATE to go through the archives. Reading past stories of failures and taking risks and nothing coming from it really bothers me. but then again, it kind of lets me know that there has to be a time of relief for me coming soon because I believe in the yin and yang of life. I believe that life has a balance of frustration and bliss and even though I’ve had so many frustrating, painful moments, there has to be some kind of reprieve at some point. I wait for it with fingers crossed, knowing it will come but also knowing it will end so I’m sure to never become TOO BLISSFUL.
I’m hoping that someone new comes into my life. I hope this someone is super smart book-wise, isn’t into any particular religion and loves my personality. It would be nice to hear sweet things from this person, but even nicer if that person followed those sweet words with ACTION that actually demonstrates those words.
Oh yeah. The other night Sylvia asked me why I got the latest tarot reading. I don’t remember what I told her but after we hung up I gave it some thought and really, tarot readings give me something good to look forward to. On my own, I can’t imagine good things to look forward to these days. I don’t care much anymore. I’m passionless unless I see a woman hurting- then I’m a quiet storm.
I don’t really see past today. If I had to predict my own future based on my past, I’d say I’ll still be a waitress, bouncing from restaurant to restaurant once each restaurant becomes annoyed with me because i won’t feed into the fear they instill in their workers. I know that losing a job doesn’t mean I am worthless. It means nothing. I have no fear of the corporation I work for and especially my managers. No fear at all. I know I’m a good server. I may not be the fastest or the most accurate but my customers leave happy because I make that my priority. If a company doesn’t appreciate that, then oh well, life doesn’t end.
There’s this woman I work with who has been there for 17 years or so. I usually am throwed off by these type of people (people who work for companies for years and years- HOW DO YOU DO IT?) but I am fascinated by her. Her personality is so chatty. She’s so pretty to me. She loves what she does and she’s so good at it and that quality alone helps me to stop being so harsh on people who stay at jobs for years- they do so because they love it and it’s easier for them and they have enriched lives outside of work. I get that.
I don’t know. Tonight I’m wasting time letting my thoughts flow about random stuff and I feel good because I choose to.