Still Sprung

I think it’s a little more to it than simply being sprung.

I’ve been hiding this from everyone except a few of my closest friends who are so nervous yet excited for me.

Isn’t it so hard to admit that you care about someone? It’s like admitting it will instantly jinx it and it will explode in your face. Well..here I go.

Remember Dude? Yeah, the one who blew my sexual losing streak. But he’s also the same one I mentioned that reminded me of my “type”. I know that when you do the same thing over and over again you will get the same result so I was hoping that I wouldn’t like him so much.

But I do.

He’s funny. He called me one night asking me what I wanted him to bring to eat and I told him that I’d cook. When he got here the food was almost ready and I fixed our plates and we sat down. I took one bite of the steak and cringed.

He took his first bite and smiled weakly at me. Then he tried the rice I made. I saw him pause. My face turned red.

“Uh, Tee, let’s go get something to eat.”

“Okay…” I muttered as I removed the plates and slipped on my shoes.

“It’s okay,” he told me as he gave me a hug and we walked to his car. “I’ll cook for you next time.”

He’s very nice to me. Except for the fact that after experiencing THE BIG ONE, and a near repeat performance the next night, I haven’t heard from him since. ~sigh~ I feel like he’s doing this to me on purpose… ~pulling imaginary hair~

So Sprung I am. I’ve been acting really stupid. Like, I call him everyday even though he hasn’t returned any of my calls since Saturday. Sometimes at night I have to take two showers to calm down because I want him so badly. I want more!

Truth be told, I may be a nympho. Naw, I’m playing. It’s just like Ruby explained it one time. She said that I close myself off to men so much that when I get one that excites me sexually I am ravenous and I won’t stop. She said I needed to find a balance between completely cutting men off and then devouring them sexually when the opportunity presents itself.

Hmm.. I agree I think. It’s just. I was so used to using guys for a quick relief. My booty calls are not emotional at all. We don’t kiss. We don’t cuddle. Eww…we don’t say nice things to each other. We only dial each other’s number for ONE REASON. No Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah. Although he’s very handsome I just wasn’t feeling him like that.

But Dude..

Damn…

He’s very nice to me. And I said to myself that the next man to be genuinely nice to me would get some very, VERY good treatment from me.

So much to the surprise of my friends I have decided to trust him until he proves to be disrespectful or mean. I won’t sit around waiting for him to mess up, I’m going to enjoy the happiness while it lasts and be extra sweet and extra loving.

According to my friends, well those who I have decided to tell about him, I’m doing everything the wrong way.

I think my mentality is the opposite of what most men want and what most women think men want.

My girls tell me, “Don’t answer all of his calls!” Why not? I like talking to him.

“Don’t give him none for 3 months!” Whatever! And risk falling in love with some dude who can’t satisfy me sexually? Yeah right. If he can’t handle me in the bedroom then there’s nothing he can do to get me to like him romantically. I need to know up front and if he doesn’t perform well we MAY??? still be friends but he will never get a second chance to make it right. And I’m so serious.

One day he asked me, “You like me a lot, don’t you?” I was a bit surprised that he asked that but I answered honestly, “Yes, I do.”

He smiled and hugged me close.

Sometimes I think this is too good to be true. Dude is sooo manly. None of that bitch-like stuff that some men get into like arguing with women and text messaging and getting all emotional. But he’s a Pisces so he IS emotional, he just knows how to hide it well.

He does things just like I like them. He didn’t at first though and my first instinct was to cut him off. In fact I almost did but my lil sister told me, “Tee, sometimes you have to teach men how to treat you. If he likes you he’ll listen. If he doesn’t then you can cut him off, but give him a chance to improve.”

So I decided to see if she was right. I figured that when men don’t show courtesy and simple kindness it’s because they don’t want to. Not true. After I had a talk with him about a couple of things I felt he should be doing he straightened up. He actually listened to me. Now I don’t have any concerns with him at all because he is mindful of how I want to be treated.

The things I mentioned were small but important things to me.Because they were important to me, they were important to him. I like that.

And I really like the fact that when he comes to see me, he grabs my booty when he kisses me hello. LOL! I LOVE THAT SHIT! ~tingling~

And believe it or not, we actually make out. We KISS! I hate kissing. It’s so boring to me. But I like kissing him. I like looking at him. I really like the fact that unlike most men I am interested in, he doesn’t seem to be phased by me.

For real, If I flirt with a man and he bites, the FIRST question out of his mouth is, “Why do you like me?” Ughh.. Why not? It’s like they don’t believe that someone (or is it just ME) would like someone like them. I hate that. Know your value! And respect that I’m not slumming or out to get anything from you.

Ahhh… I’m glad I got that out. I hate keeping secrets.

I have a guy friend who hasn’t called me in three days but who I miss nonetheless.

Good or bad, however this ends up I’ll be okay because I know that I will not treat him badly or be mean to him or hurt him in any way. I only want to be a blessing in his life. If he decides he’s not ready for all that then at least I know I didn’t allow my bitterness toward men to ruin it.

As long as I’m walking tall, I can walk away knowing that maybe he just wasn’t ready for a real woman who is about honesty, self improvement and satisfying her man instead of creating crazy drama.

There are men like that out there and it’s okay to be that way. Everyone grows in different stages. Hopefully, I’ll meet someone who is exactly where I am.