Wow.. It’s been a minute, right?
I don’t even remember what I wrote the last time but I’m here..alive…well..in the midst of yet another transition. If there are any readers left…sorry…I went through a hell of a year so far..internally…delving into my inner most being and figuring a lot of wild shit out…
First of all…the big thing that I had never done before…i started dating women..and while It was cool and all…I don’t think that is for me. I mean…I guess I give up easily but I don’t really care to put in the effort it would take to maintain a relationship romantically with anyone. That’s my thing. Its been my thing for years and I would think I was wrong and try to change and fix it but really…its ME.
I don’t want a long term relationship. Why can’t I just be…cool with that? Maybe cuz everyone is telling me I need to fix this and that about myself and the focus on trying to change my instinct (which tells me to be single right now) and try to gain what others feel would be best for me; a love relationship.
Well..maybe it’s not the best thing for me…If it were…wouldn’t I have allowed it into my life already? Or maybe…if the person who i was supposed to engage in said relationship were in my life…wouldn’t I feel comfortable enough to let them in? That is…if you believe in predestination..
Aww..I miss blogging here. here I can talk to myself out loud without worrying about anything at all…or caring..its like peeing….
Peeing…
Freely…
I think I’m gonna pee some more tonight…as I try to get back in the swing of things of writing here…
My life has NOT stopped being so dramatic but the only thing is…I handle things differently…