Sometimes You Just…Know

You won’t believe what happened to me on Monday. I got stuck in my building when the power went out. Yeah…I went in to work on Memorial Day because I didn’t have anything else to do. ~shrugs~ When the power went out, I looked around and realized that I didn’t know where the stairs were and the elevators weren’t working. It was daytime so it wasn’t dark, but there I sat, captive for a little more than an hour.

I texted my director and she said she didn’t know where the stairs were either. We need to have a fire drill or something, there has to be more than one way out.

I didn’t flip out. It’s not like I was in the elevator when the power went out. I just sat in the nice cozy chair in the lobby and looked through the picture albums on the table. I took this picture while I was sitting there.

The Radio Man has met ERRYBODY over the years! Dang! There’s pictures of him with Bill Clinton. He has pics with James Brown. His foundation has given away a ton of money and ofcourse…there were pics of The Prez looking all young. How come he is so georgeous to me? It makes absoutely no sense for him to be single when he looks like that. But I am not going to be sweating him…anymore. I’m sure there are enough chicks out there who do that already. ~folding arms~

If you had a chance to come and see the office, you’d flip because of all the Black businesses I’ve worked for, it is hands down the most beautiful. There is a long hallway filled with nothing but awards, plaques, trophies, ribbons. Every city has honored the Radio Man with keys and so many universities have awarded him honorary degrees. I would have never thought that. Wow.

~sigh~ He’s done so much.

I have so much to do in this world.

I had such a crazy day today. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel so much pressure to achieve. The pressure is overtaking me and I can’t even stop it. I feel like I’m running out of time. I feel like if it doesn’t happen right now, my whole world is going to collapse. I know I have it in me to succeed but I won’t allow myself to celebrate anything I do because I can’t let go of the big picture and I haven’t even won a Pulitzer yet. I haven’t even made the New York Times bestsellers list yet. No one has offered me my own line of Hallmark cards or my own television show. Cover Girl still hasn’t called me.

It’s like I KNOW I can do it. I know it will happen. I just haven’t been stable enough to really focus on it.

Tonight I feel weird while writing this. I feel like I’m putting on a show. For the first time ever this feels like I’m writing for an audience instead of sharing my life for myself and allowing others to peek into what I’m doing.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t written while I was unemotional in a long time. Imagine watching The Matrix 3 times in a row while your’e high. Then watch it again when you’re not. Big difference huh?

Emotions are my high. I like to be high.

I guess I usually write because I have a burning desire to figure something out but tonight I figured it out before I sat down to vent my thoughts.

I am truly a superstar.

Some people WISH they were.

Some people dream about being one.

I am one.

And I feel it from the inside out.

And it’s weird that no one has to validate that view, I just KNOW.

And it’s also weird that I know and it hasn’t really happened yet.

Sometimes you just..know. And all you can do is wait…and continue to do your thing. And hold on to your true friends because you can recognize the fake ones starting to appear. ~sigh~

It has to happen…My baby promised me.

“You’re gonna touch the sky, BABYGIRL!” – My Dream Lover, Kanye West