So I’m on skype and I get a ring from Kish and I’m happy because it’s been about 5 months since I skyped with her and we chat and chat and it’s awesome and I’m feeling a bit normal but not really.
We talk about her new boyfriend, school, her new job in Switzerland, her shopping in Italy and her BIG ASS AFRO and all I have to talk about is my project and I don’t really have anything good to say about it except I’m trying to think of a way to forget about it all.
I don’t want to write a book or a do any interviews about it. I just, I don’t even know what I want. I want to put it all behind me because that shit wasn’t fun at all and nothing good came out of it for me.
And I’m tired. Too tired.
“I want you to try to have some fun,” she said.
I laughed. “Yeah. Me too.”
Fun? What’s that?
My head hurts.
The good thing is- I skyped again. I’m just starting to feel somewhat like me again.
I think it's ok to give yourself some time to have distance from your project. It's like with me and running – if I have a "bad" race, I don't want to think about it afterwards. Don't want to relive it, don't want to analyze where it all broke down, don't want to think about it at all.
The lessons learned come with time – and I receive them when I am ready.
That project may not have taken you where you thought it was going to, but you put together a very interesting body of work. And you are talented. You have a gift. Keep thinking and working, and one day this will all be part of the grand story you'll tell.
But in the meantime, let yourself be still for awhile. It's ok to forget!