~shaking out the cobwebs~
So, I’m back.
I moved out of the homeless shelter. Finally.
I’m done with my project. ~sigh~
What do I think about it?
Um. I have a headache so I try not to think about it.
Do I think it was a good idea?
Um. No.
Would I do it again?
Hell no.
What did I get out of it?
Um. I guess I love my new job at Denny’s so that was a good thing.
What did I learn?
People pretty much suck and they’re good at it and they are miserable and they want you to be miserable too and I can’t ever be a leader because I’m not cut out for that phoniness and cut throat behavior and no matter how much I care and want to help people have to want it for themselves and I’m not a savior and just because I want to connect with someone and show them that we are not different doesn’t mean that its true and I’m actually no better off mentally than I was before and I thought I would be I guess I now know that I don’t NEED to do better or be better I just NEED to appreciate where I am in each moment.
I’m still the same old Ms. Tee but the only difference is, I don’t desire MORE like I used to. I just desire rest and good times with my boys. I don’t like people as much as I did before and I find myself becoming less patient when I meet them or I just avoid meeting them altogether.
I’m going to start dating Kanye in my mind again or at least I’ll try but I’m really coming to the conclusion that I am much much happier when I’m single and not mingling with anyone.
I’m not feeling well today as you can READ. I have housemates now, which means that I have to interact socially, however minimally and it bothers me to do that when all I want to do is be invisible in this world until I have to go to work or my sons come over.
Feeling all kinds of blah today and all I want is some good food and to laugh a little.
Let me see if I can make that happen.