So I’m Not A Christian

I think one of the most difficult things to talk about with people is religion. I mean, MY religion-which is none.

I could be a former prostitute or a former drug addict or a former felon and those adjectives would be more acceptable than saying that I am not a Christian.

Sometimes I have to sit and listen to Christian people make such harsh judgments about everyone and everything and speak so negatively about this world. They will quote scriptures and automatically assume that I am down with them and their judgment. The moment I tell them that I am not a Christian the room gets quiet and I can hear their hearts beating fast as though they are either afraid of me or feel sorry for me.

Once I was talking to this pastor and he was telling me how “out of the box” his church is and how accepting they are of everyone. At that point I felt free to engage him so I said, “Well, I’m not a Christian and I’m openly bi sexual.”

He tried his best not to react.

Then he engaged me in conversation about how some Christians in my past must have hurt me and I shouldn’t walk away from God because of a few people who don’t have good hearts.

My reply: Why is God synonymous with Christianity?

He stammered, “God is synonymous with everything.”

Good.

But at the end of the conversation he said, “Now don’t walk out of here telling people that you told Pastor A that you were bisexual and I said it’s okay because it’s not.”

He looked at me sincerely. I returned his sincere look and then replied, “Sir, I don’t need your approval or acceptance.”

He gave me a high five. I smiled and then I left.

It’s so wild to me that I have to encounter this type of conversation regularly. I don’t preach my beliefs to anyone who hasn’t come to me for advice. My beliefs center around prosperity and loving yourself. I am not religious. I am not against any religion. I believe that religion leads you to a place of consistent faith that EVERYONE needs but after much studying I feel that ALL religions seek this certain faith and I do not need to choose one.

I don’t have to choose. Everyone has free choice but it seems that no one understands that.

I sometimes feel bad that I have to listen to everyone explain their faith and when I try to share my perspective and how I am not motivated by a fear of hell or the promise of heaven for good behavior I am judged immediately.

I don’t judge people for being drug addicts. I don’t judge people who steal. I just listen and that’s about it. That’s why people feel so comfortable talking to me. I don’t make anyone feel bad for their life or lifestyle or their problems because it’s not my life. I just like to hear people’s stories because I think ALL paths are intriguing.

But I do, I feel badly that my life or beliefs aren’t respected when others appreciate it when I respect theirs.

Cuz I do.

Always.

I mean, unless you’re degrading women in some way. I have zero tolerance about that. Otherwise, do you!

Man, at some point in this life, I would LOVE to be respected and appreciated for being who I am instead of people trying to correct my opinions and life choices and tell me that I am going to go back to Christ because I walked away from the church for the wrong reasons.

Who the fuck told you that? Who are you to try to tell me what I did and why I did it? I hate that shit.

I just wanna be understood. Even if no one agrees, I want my path to be respected too.

Could this ever happen?

I don’t know. I am not a follower.

I guess it’s just that… other followers don’t like that.

2 Replies to “So I’m Not A Christian”

  1. I too, am not a follower..but there has got to be a reason that you are having these type of conversations with people or strangers. I can not recall ever EVER having to explain my choice of religion, beliefs or lack thereof. Whats wild to me, is how you find yourself having to explain anything to anyone about what you believe or dont believe. It will be a cold day in hell before I even engage in a conversation about religion, because I DONT CARE what people think about me or WHO I pray to. Maybe you think you have to PROVE your liberation or individuality. You don't. You prove it by being it.

  2. You are so right anonymous. I think I have been trying to prove something. The conversation usually starts when they start criticizing others for their "sins" like homosexuality or patting themselves on the back for being holy and not committing adultery.

    I'm usually like,"Where do you get those rules from and why are you enforcing your beliefs on others?"

    Then they act shocked because I am not in agreement with their condemnation and I explain that I don't hold those beliefs and therefore I do not condemn.

    Either way, it's tough hearing people condemn others so much and sometimes I feel obligated to say something.

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