My life is a miracle.
I just got back from hanging with my friend Lem. I saw him a few weeks ago when we attempted to go to a free Jill Scott concert at the Hard Rock Casino. When we got there the line was so long that we both looked at each other and said, “Hell naw…” We ended up going to pick up some food and just heading home.
I’ve mentioned Lem before but I have never told the story of how we met and became friends.
I remember it well. I was 15 years old and in the 10th grade. He was 16 and in the 11th grade. The first time I saw him I was in the library during lunch because Tamara and Anna were with their boyfriends and I didn’t feel like tagging along.
I was on this “I want a Dominican boyfriend” kick and when I saw his soft brown skin and hispanic features I smiled to myself.
I walked over to him with my usual confidence and asked, “Are you Dominican?”
“No.” he replied with a smile.
“Ok,” I said and walked away.
I saw him again in the hallway a week or so later and I casually touched his arm and smiled. He smiled back and someone pulled my arm and I walked away without saying a word. We became friends after that and I quickly realized he wasn’t aggressive enough for me. Back then I considered him to be a “duck” and my friends and I would say “quack, quack” when we saw him.
I now realize the only reason I gave him that label was because he wasn’t all eager to please and sexually aggressive like the others boys. In those days I considered that to be ‘lame’. I guess I still do.
But even after Lem graduated and went to college in Atlanta he still kept in touch with me. He would write me letters from Morehouse and call to check up on me and I liked the way our friendship had blossomed.
He had more on his mind than just friendship with me and I enjoyed his pursuit to a certain degree. When I got to college he would come and visit whenever he could and he was the guy who would do anything to be with me. I simply was uninterested because I thought he was so blah. I remember going to FAMU’s homecoming and he would come down by himself just so he could see me. I still wanted nothing to do with him romantically, after all he was a ‘good guy’ and being a silly young women I had no appreciation for a guy like that.
Lem was the definition of a true guy friend and even though I consistently tried to push him away he would never give up. Even after I had my first son we went out a few times and he told me that he loved me as we sat under the stars in the sand on Miami Beach. I wrinkled my nose at that declaration.
Whatever I was into he was always supportive. When i decided to sell Mary Kay cosmetics in college he gave me money to get started. When my first son had his first birthday he gave him a savings bond. Even after I had my second son he called me up asking me if it would be okay if he moved to Gainesville.
“No Lem,” I pleaded. “Why are you doing this? We are just friends.”
“But we don’t have to put a label on anything, we can just try and see what happens,” he asked.
“No Lem.”
But the day came when the tables turned. One day I said Hi to him on the IM and asked what he was up to.
“Oh, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend.”
STOP THE PRESSES!
“What girlfriend?” I typed to him.
“I have a girlfriend now.”
“CALL ME RIGHT NOW.”
My house phone rang a few minutes later and I interrogated him like he was caught redhanded for murder.
“How long have you been with her?”
“6 months.”
“Are you having secks with her?”
“Yes.”
I couldn’t believe it. My long time admirer had finally moved on. It really hurt my heart.
“Are you happy Lem?”
“Yes. She’s a good girl.”
“I can’t believe this,” I told him.
“Tee. I mean..Sometimes you realize that you can’t catch a shooting star and you let go.”
But we remained friends after that. When I moved back to Miami he had just moved back months earlier and anytime I needed him he was there. Through the hurricanes and no power, he would show up with food. When I was in the hospital with no food, he would come and bring me a plate. When I was sick he would bring medicine. There was nothing I couldn’t have when it came to him.
But this time, I felt different about him because he had changed.
After he graduated from Morehouse Lem was a completely different person. There’s something strange that happens to people who graduate from HBCU’s. They come out of college thinking they can rule the world. Lem was no exception. This newfound confidence he exhibited was so sexy to me.
But alas, it wasn’t in the stars for us and to this day we remain friends. We chit chatted all night long about whatever, played tunk and drank some Parrot Bay. Remember Parrot Bay? ~shakes head~ That liquor sooo reminds me of college. Parrot Bay and pineapple juice to get the party started! Man..college was fun!
He says he has chosen a wedding date for he and his girl. They will tie the knot sometime next summer. He’s a teacher now. He’s actually living his dream. He always wanted to be a highschool history teacher and now that is exactly what he is doing. I am so proud of him.
We sat on the patio and allowed the cool breeze to tickle our bare skin. Lem, in his glasses and nerdy demeanor. I always loved his old soul. Whenever I would get angry at men and try to swear them off forever, I’d remember him and how he never, ever showed me anything but love.
Lem is a gem and I know that I’ll love him forever.
And I know he’ll always love me too because no man ever forgets his first.