My 3 Boys

In the midst of waiting for my contracts to be reviewed I am making more preparations for my move to Houston. Everyone has been so supportive and I am so grateful for that. Now all I have to do is tell my boys. I kinda feel like they are going to be like, “Poor Lady, she just doesn’t know what she wants out of life.” But I’ll make it comfortable and make it plain for them, assuring them that I’m setting things up for our future. I get to see them during the Christmas break. I’m heading down to Gainesville to spend the weekend because they will be in nearby Ocala visiting their father’s family.

When I told their Daddy I must have caught him off guard because he immediately got all emotional whining about, “I don’t want you to come to my family’s house because I don’t like you. I don’t like who I am when I’m around you. I don’t trust you,” I interrupted him and said, “Boy, you know me. You know I’m not going to be disrespectful to you, your girlfriend or your family.”

“But I don’t even want to see your face. I’ll make sure that I am far away when you show up.”

I don’t know why he acts like that. It’s like I control his mood. He can’t even be relaxed and happy around me because he’s all nervous. I’m so glad he doesn’t affect me in that way anymore. I don’t give a damn who he’s sleeping with or what career he’s doing because…he ain’t my man. He’s just my Baby Daddy. He needs to get over that emotional shit because I ain’t paying his ass any attention. It’s immature and unneccessary, we need to squash this shit. I’m not in a competition with him. These are our damn CHILDREN we’re trying to raise- together. We have to work as a team. I don’t want his damn money. Shit.. Looks like I was never gonna get it anyway.

Baby Daddy,

If you ACT right, you could be PAID off of me, dummy. Be nice for a change because when I make it, you gotta have a nice place too so my boys will be cozy when they visit you. Or even if we split time with them, they are going to be well taken care of on both ends and I will see to that. I just wish you had the same heart. But it’s okay, you don’t have to. I’ll be alright. I trust you with the boys.

I hear you call your house the ba chelor pad. That made me laugh. Just you and your boys huh? I know you are having too much fun with them because I used to have so much fun with them too. They are great boys, part of you and part of me. You helped create the best gifts I could have gotten from God and I appreciate you for that. You are a good father. Everyone can see that. But you don’t have to try to prove that I’m a bad mother in order to get your props. Why can’t we both be good parents? Why does it have to be a war?

If you ever talked to me with some sense you would see that we are on the same page when it comes to the needs of our boys. You KNOW I’m a compromising woman. I would never use my kids as a weapon to hurt you. They need you and you need them just like I need them.

Let’s show our sons that we can be friends. We were friends once upon a time, remember? Or was it just one sided and you never saw me as your friend? Maybe that’s what happened. Regardless we can always start over. I have too much other stuff on my plate to have you as an adversary.

I want to be cool, not exactly friends, but just…cool with you. Respectful. I want to be able to show you appreciation without you getting all weird on me or thinking it’s because I want to be with you. I don’t. But you’re still cool though.

Let’s be cool together.

Tee