Me and Them

Before I met my Baby Daddy I met all of these great guys. We would hang out all the time, go to parties together, go on trips together and just kick-it on campus. The best thing about my relationship with them was, there was absolutely no physical attraction. So we were just friends, although their girlfriends sometimes had problems with that, until they got to know me.

After I got with my Baby Daddy, I found out that these same guys were his friends too. In fact, they were just as cool with him as they were with me, but you know guys are gonna have a different type of relationship. So when he ‘introduced’ me to them, they were like- HELL NAW!!! Not, Ms. Tee! She’s cool as hell! I’m sure my Baby Daddy was pleased that his friends approved.

The relationship was great because his friends were already my friends and we all became closer because their girlfriends became my friends and my sorority sisters. It was literally one big clique of people dating each other. When our relationship ended, things became weird. The guy friends that I loved so much didn’t really talk to me anymore. They had to choose sides and they chose him.

I see them from time to time or we communicate by e-mail and I’m careful not to mention any of the things that go one between me and my Baby Daddy. I don’t want to create an uncomfortable situation. But sometimes it feels like maybe he is telling them bad things about me. Even when I found out he was reading this blog I couldn’t quit writing like some of my friends suggested. He knows I am truthful, even if my truth is jaded by my emotions.

It’s funny how each and every friend we had together is truly a remarkable person and not one of them would ever believe the stories I have to tell about BD, so I don’t even go there. I act like everything is fine. To them he’s a hero, he’s a survivor, he’s the american dream. He’s quite the go-getter and makes you feel like you can do anything when you’re around him. I can see why they are friends with him although they will probably never see the side that I have to see.

One time I emailed my friend and said, “I don’t know what he’s telling you that will make you not return my phone calls or emails but you KNOW me, you KNOW my heart, you KNOW what kind of person I am. At the root of things I have not changed even though me and him are not together.”

I miss my friends so much. I know I didn’t do anything to them and I understand that they knew him longer and he’s a guy and guy’s stick together and all that. I just…I miss my friends. I wasn’t invited to any of their weddings. That hurt so much. But yeah, I know you wouldn’t want to make him and his girlfriend uncomfortable.

I guess I’m thinking about them because they are all at Stephanie and Jason’s wedding right now. I really, really wanted to be there. I wanted to see everyone and give out hugs and cry and be emotional and dance and drink and have fun with the people who loved me before I turned into a Baby Mama. ~smile~ They got to know the cool, hang out all night, let’s hit this blunt two times chick with the sassy attitude and the warm spirit.

We were all cool then.

We were all friends.

It’s like everyone is still in the loop but me.

Who knew that when he walked away, most of my guy friends would too?

~sniff~

I hope everyone at the wedding is having fun.