Posted on by TPatterson

Limbic Connections

My life is a miracle.

I’m back from class. What a delightful experience. I absolutely enjoy every second of every class that I attend. Our program focuses on solution-focused therapy which means we don’t try to delve into the root of the problem, instead we guide the client toward the positive possibilities that await them.

Instead of guiding the client through detailed recounts of painful past events in order to “face the issue” and move on, we are instructed to ask, “Where do you want to go from here? What do you want your life to be like?” Then we co create possible avenues to achieve those goals.

I’m glad I went to the counselor today. Maybe I should have done it a lot sooner because this one session really helped me to detach from my anxiety about school. She encouraged me to accept where I am in life right now, a method that I had embraced a few months ago, but somehow I lost focus and began to wallow in the place of “How did I get here? Why am I not over there?”

What’s really funny is the fact that as the counselor questioned me…~laffs~ I could actually recognize the techniques she was using on me. We learned them last week in my theories class and I did my first role play as the therapist. Since my biggest frustration at the moment was my paper, she simply made a suggestion and my mind latched on to it. It really worked.

In my mind I was never going to finish my paper because I couldn’t figure it out. I was too anxious. She said to me, “Oh, you’ll finish your paper by 3 and then you’ll go home and relax until time for class.”

When she said that, I looked at the clock and then WHAM, it hit me. That was a realistic goal for me. I accepted the suggestion and I actually finished my paper by 2:45 went home and took a nap.

Just like that.

The things we see as obstacles are often mental blocks created by our own fears. My paper was being held back by my fear of not doing well. Once I recognized that, I did it. It’s over. I feel great.

While I was in her office I came across a magazine called Psychology Today. Since I love magazines and I’m new to psychology I decided to check it out and I am loving every word of it. It’s not all clinical like I expected. It’s very much relationship based and easy to read. I’d love to write articles like that some day. In fact, with everything I’m learning I may actually be able to do them now.

Dang, there’s so much I want to share about what I’m learning. I mentioned before that there is a part of the brain that controls emotions. It’s called the Limbic System. The Limbic system in women is bigger than those found in men so that is why women are more emotional. When a traumatic change occurs in a person’s life, a death, end of a relationship, a dramatic transition in circumstances, the shock of the change damages the limbic system causing the negative emotions to surface.

Even when we meet someone and we experience that excitement of being attracted, it’s the limbic sytem that is charged and that’s where those joyful emotions come from. That’s kind of why we can’t help who we are attracted to and who we aren’t. Our brain is the cause of attraction. We can become limbically connected to anyone because it’s that happy feeling we’re all chasing. Some people stay in damaging relationships because they remember that feeling and want to experience it again.

I think it’s more difficult to move on because the person doesn’t realize that they can and WILL experience that feeling again, with someone else.

A good friend of mine once said something to me when I was going through my withdrawal phase of my relationship with my BBDD. (That lasted for years, by the way) He said, “This will not be your last chance at love. This is not your last relationship.”

Although it hasn’t happened yet, you know, me being in another relationship, that statement has always stuck with me.

I guess my limbic connection to him is gone now and I’m open. I’m open to experiencing another one.

I met a man this weekend at a party and I was very much attracted to him. He had such a wonderful personality. Too bad his friend came along, got drunk and completely monopolized my time and space. Me being so NICE I didn’t act a fool on him, which I wanted to, but I didn’t want to have to leave the party after cursing him out, he was very aggressive. I did try to distance myself in hopes that the other guy would come talk to me again. He didn’t.

Oh well. Chalk that one up to the game. But it did feel good, that limbic connection.

I’d like to do that again.

And it’s likely that I will.