It’s My Season Shawty

I’m about to confess something deep. You won’t believe this and neither do I really, sometimes I think I’m even making it up, but by the missed call counter on my cell phone, it’s very much a reality.

Are you ready for this? Naw. You ain’t ready.

I, Ms. Tee, have been dating.

Yeah. Deep breath. Calm down. Relax.

Now SCREAM!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I can’t believe it either. Something happened in the New Year. Something changed in me. Something that I exude makes me very attractive to men all of a sudden. It’s more than the usual “Hey, you’re beautiful.” compliments that I get all the time. These are actual men who are doing whatever they can to persuade me to spend time with them. And I’m not talking 2 or 3 men, I’m talking 6 or 7 trying out for the team.

I’m like, “Hey, I have two kids, two jobs and NO TIME.” They are still running after me saying they will take 15 minutes if I can spare it.

Who me?

I’m not doing anything differently. I’m not being extra witty or extra sexy. (I’m sexy by nature, not cause I hate ya) I’m just having fun with my girls, going out more and not paying any men the least bit of attention and they come running. EVERYTIME I have said, “Ok, I’m gonna go out and have some fun with my chicas.” I end up with a handful of numbers.

There are certain things about me that I always thought turned men off. 1) I like to drink. 2) I am comfortable with my sexuality. 3) I am messy (ex: my dusty car) 4) I’m not afraid to say what I mean. No guessing games. I’m not coy by a long shot. 5) Not much of a challenge to figure out. Ask me and I’ll tell you straight up. I’m beginning to think, “Hey, ain’t nothing wrong with THAT!”

This week alone I have already had 3 “first dates” if you want to call them that. I call it, “the second look”. Which means I get to see that guy outside of the atmosphere in which we met. We talk and laugh and I decide if I want to see him again. So far this week, 2 No’s and 1 HELL YES!

You know, I’m scared a bit. I’m used to being admired from afar. But what do I say to these guys? Should I really be entertaining the thought of a relationship? I mean, I have two sons. I don’t want to subject them to craziness. And I’m actually afraid of ‘liking’ someone. Going out to eat is one thing. Laughing on the phone is another thing. I have no problem being friends with guys. But what if one of them, you know, like, wants to BE with me? I’ve only had one boyfriend since 1998, so you see why I’m nervous.

My bestfriend Tamara told me, “Tee, just be your old crazy, emotional, loving, giving self. It’s not even about finding somebody. Some of these guys may just be lifelong friends. You decide what you want the relationship to be. Hang out, get to know people and enjoy yourself.”

So yes, I confess, Ms. I WILL NEVER DATE, has turned the other way. Is it a lack of trust in my relationship with God? Is it loneliness? Or is it that I’m finally feeling on the inside the same way I look on the outside? Or maybe all these men are crazy.

Individual dating stories coming soon, for your reading entertainment.