It’s ALL A Fantasy
~singing my personal version of the Lambchops theme song~
This is the JOB that doesn’t end…yes it goes on and on my friend…some people started working here not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue working here forever just because…this is the JOB that doesn’t end…yes it goes on and on my friend…”
Damn!
How am I gonna be four days deep up in my job and I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster that won’t STOP! LOL! Who the hell knew that maintaining a website could be so demanding? It’s so very similar to blogging except it’s way more involved but I know I’m getting this experience which will make me a better “Whatever” in the future.
My resume is a BEAST! LOL!
Just look at all of the jobs I’ve had since I graduated college in 2003. I feel like I’m on one of those technical school commercials.
Medical Research Assistant
Executive Assistant to the Publisher of a newspaper
Sales Associate at Express
Telephone Customer Service Representative
Motivational Speaker
Receptionist
Development (Fundraising) Coordinator of a $10 million dollar campaign
PR Account Coordinator
Freelance Writer
Content Manager/Writer for a magazine
Hostess/Food Runner for a restaurant
Newspaper Reporter
and now… Internet Marketing Manager
Whooo!
All that’s left for me to do is become a radio host, television show host, novelist and world inspiration leader and I can die happily having been exposed to all of my communications interests.
My little sister called me at work today and I allowed the blahs to get to me after she asked, “Did the man send you your check yet?”
Before I left Houston I gave the man I was renting the apartment from my first month’s rent plus a deposit and he has yet to return it to me. I was pissed off at first but then I just let it go.
This weekend I sent him an email which read:
Hi Michael Martin who rents a condo in the Westchase District inside the Idlewood Community,
I find it interesting that I do not receive any responses to my attempts to recover my $650 for my first month’s rent from you although I never signed a lease. I do not want to go back and forth with you about this issue any longer. If you choose not to honor your word, there is no way I can force you to.
I’m glad I left Houston. The entire time I was there I kept meeting people who were dishonorable, deceitful or wanted to change me.
I will pray that God will allow me to forgive you for cheating me. If you need the money that badly then I hope it fixes whatever problem that you have and I bless you.
You won’t hear from me again.
I live by the principle that you get what you give. So I bless you to prosper and I ask that everything that you give and do for others be returned double to your life and that of your family.
Have a beautiful day!
I’m letting it go. God is my supply and those who cheat his beautiful and favored daughter will have to deal with HIM. I know for a fact that when it comes down to the wire God always sends someone to bless me.
Just like Donovan. I didn’t tell him this but when he gave me that money before I left Orlando I was down to my last $26. See how God works!
And I fully expect provision to come from Him and I believe He has a perfect place for me to live. I believe He has a place that I will be able to call HOME. I fantasize about being able to come home after work and lie down on the couch in my underwear, enjoying the airconditioning, order some food and sip some wine while watching TV. I also make sure to add a nice fine man who will come over around 8pm to rub my booty while I purrrr…
All fantasies become reality if you meditate on them long enough. What are you fantasizing about? Is it illness? Is it your mate cheating? Is it death?
If you imagine your life going a certain way then it most certainly WILL!
I tried to explain the law of attraction to my friend Peaches. I asked her, “Did you see the video for THE SECRET yet?
“No, but I heard THE SECRET isn’t that much of a SECRET. Think positive. That’s all that says.”
I laughed. On the surface that is what it says but if you have an ear to hear and a heart to GROW and live life abundantly, you will begin to feel the vibrations of the powerful words that are spoken.
Thinking positively is not just a mantra or a nice suggestion, it should be a RULE. What you invest your thoughts in, is what you receive. Believe me!
Look back on my blog. Even the first month that I started writing I would fantasize about being a journalist. I wanted to write for magazines, newspapers etc. Now look at me!
My fantasies have come true!
And I had to change my fantasy about men because in all of my fantasies I focused on men who wouldn’t support me, yell at me and tell me that I wasn’t right for them. Baby Daddy, Dude, DL Dell, JB…they all said and did those things to me. It’s because I imagined them doing it!
Now every night before I go to bed I read a little of Florence Scovel Shinn’s complete work of literature and then I take time to fantasize about how I want my life to be. I think about my boys growing into handsome, successful young men who are adored everywhere they go. I picture my brilliant and successful husband who just LOVES to spoil me, break me off and show me off every chance he gets because he knows that I’m the best chick walking. I picture vacations with my homegirls and them getting mad at me because I’m spoiling their children.
Ofcourse I take 30 seconds out of my day to make myself go Mmmm… but even then I say to myself, “One day a fine ass man is gonna come rub my booty…I’m gonna model and dance for him and we’re gonna make videos too. He’s gonna be down for whatever!”
I now realize that falling in love with Dallas has nothing to do with the city but everything to do with my mindset. When I got to Houston I was looking for MAN to teach me and support me. When MAN failed I was disheartened and afraid. My fear led me to attract people who were also disheartened and afraid.
I came to Dallas EXPECTING nothing but success and although I’m still living ‘on the edge’ and it seems like I’m constantly experiencing the sensation of being on a trapeze, blindfolded, my fingers grasping through the air hoping the connecting swing presents itself so that I will not fall– I NEVER FALL.
God won’t let me.
And he doesn’t care that I curse sometimes and I masterbate and I’m horny all the time and I’m a brat and an overachiever and addicted to love. God just laughs at me because He made me and He loves me just the way I am.
That’s why I love Him.
Someone loves me just the way I am.
And everyone will love me wherever I go, because I EXPECT it!