It Could Happen Like This
Yesterday I got a call from my girl while I was at work.
“Goodmorning this is Ms. Tee.”
“Goodmorning Tee, this is your HOMIE!” she said just as corny as she could.
My tone changed from office professional, to street homegirl. My voice deepened and I relaxed.
“What up chick?”
“Ok, do you spell professional with one ‘f’ or two?”
“One ‘f’.”
“Thanks. So this morning I was watching my favorite morning news show on Channel 33. It’s a Black female anchor, you should watch it, you’d like her. They deliver the real news, but they have a lot of fun. I watch it every morning while I’m getting ready for work.”
“Mmm, hmmm.” I respond while eyeing the dummy magazine our Director of Publications had given me to proofread.
“Well this morning, she was reading an email that she got from one of her viewers. It was a guy who said that he was looking for a good woman and he wanted to know if she knew where to find one.”
I giggle a little. “What did she say?”
“She said, ‘Church I guess.’ and everyone laughed. She went on to say that the guy hadn’t been on a real date in two years and he was looking to settle down with someone long term. So I went on the Channel 33 website and I decided to write to her, asking her to give him my number.”
I tried my best not to laugh out loud. “You are WILD!!!!” I said. “You crazy!”
“So that’s where you come in. I want you to tell me what to write.”
“Ok, what do you have so far?”
She began to read aloud to me.
“Hi, I love your show. I’m responding to the email you got from a gentleman who is looking for a good woman. I’m a 26 year old professional…”
“What else?”
“That’s it.”
“Ok, so type this. ‘and I was touched by his heartfelt desire. I too am looking for Mr. Right to respect and share my dreams with. Maybe you could pass along my information to him, who knows it could be a match.'”
I hear her typing furiously as I speak.
“How should I end it?” she asks me.
“Put, “Have a beautiful day!”
“Ok, I’ll put my name and number too. How does that sound?”
“Desperate.”
She laughs.
“But hey! You never know.” I say.
“He’s probably ugly, huh?”
“Yep, he probably is, but oh well, you’ll have an ugly man who loves you to death. I’m sure you won’t be the only one to come up with the idea to write the station.”
“Naw, I probably won’t be.”
“Aiight chick, I’ll holla.”
“Holla.”
This morning I’m driving back up to the north side when my phone rings. It’s my friend.
“What’s up chick?” I greet her.
“Girl! We got straight called out today!”
“What? What you talkin about?”
“Remember the letter from yesterday?”
“Yeah. What happened?”
“Girl, how about I’m home getting dressed and watching the show when the time comes for the viewer mail and the host READ MY ENTIRE LETTER ON-AIR and…” she lowers her voice for effect. “She read my NAME!!!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop playin!”
“I’m not playin dawg. For real! I was about to throw up!”
“Hell naw! Hahahahahaha!!!! This is too much!”
“Did she say your last name?”
“No, that’s my only saving grace. She read everything else though, except for my phone number. I hope no one recognizes my name girl!”
“Well at least you have a common name. I still can’t believe it! Why didn’t you call me when it was on?”
“Girl, I was too shocked to move.”
I continue to laugh at her. “Hell naw! That is too funny! I can’t WAIT to tell everyone I know this story!”
And now I have…
Hope you liked it.