Camilla who?

How in the hell did Camilla get chosen as The Most Fascinating Person of 2005? All she did was marry the damn Prince. She waited a million years for him, sure, but there’s not a damn thing fabulous about her!

She must be Barbara Walters’ cousin or something. They look around the same age.

ANNNNNDDDDDDD…

My son woke up just as Kanye’s segment on the show came on. While I shooed him back to bed, he kept begging for me to read a story. A story? Dude, your bedtime is 8 o’clock. It’s after 10 and you’re making me miss Kanye!!!!

After I got him settled in, I walked back to the living room just in time to hear Kanye say something like, “I said that? I just say some things to f**k with people.”

What was he talking about?!!

THENNNNNNN….

My raggedy ass friend KIM is on the phone running her damn mouth a mile a minute. By the time I looked up, there was Barbara signing off her show!

I looked down at the phone. “Kim,” I said, making sure not to allow the anger in my voice escape through. “Who was #1?”

“Uhh…” she stammered.

I scowled.

“Kim, I can’t believe I let you talk to me while I was waiting! I’m not talking to you again for one week!”

“Shut up girl! Kanye won.”

“Shut up Kim. You’re making that up.”

“Girllll…. But we had a good conversation, didn’t we?”

“Bye Kim.”

“Call me back girl.”

“Yeah right!” I pout.

She laughs and we hang up. She knows I’m upset for real.

I call Tonya.

“Girl, did you watch Barbara Walters tonight?”

“AWW! No, I forgot! Why didn’t you call me?”

“Cuz I promised my ugly friend KIM that I’d watch it on the phone with her and she made me MISS who was number one!”

“Well, I’ll call my Mama and find out, I know she watched it.”

“Call me back.”

Two minutes later my phone rang.

“Girlll…”

“Who was it Tonya?”

“It was Camille Parker, you know the lady who married the prince.”

“WHAT?!!! What’s so fascinating about her?”

“Girl, I should have had you on 3-way with my Mama because she was saying the same thing!”

***********************************

The lesson for today is: Never talk on the phone with Kim when I’m trying to watch Kanye.